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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, March 11, in 1941, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt authorized the Lend-Lease Act, which authorized the act of providing war supplies to the Allies. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Ex pastor gets 15 year prison sentence for child sexual assault case __________________________________________________ Q Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his. --- Franklin P. Jones Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. --- Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727) ________________________________________________ Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as a used car salesman. He had no experience in this field but he figured he could use the old sales pitch that the car was *like brand-new" and "had only been driven by a little old lady on Sundays." He tried that approach on every prospective buyer but none seemed to believe him and no sales were made that day. The following day he decided to change his sales pitch and sure enough he sold three cars. The manager of the used car dealership called him over and asked what he had done to bring about all these sales. Bill grinned, Well, they didn't believe my little old lady story, so I told them that the car had previously been owned by a nymphomaniac who only used the backseat!" --------- Believe it or not, but when I came to this continent in 1970, I was so naive that I fell for that "little old lady who only drove it on Sundays" story. Yeah, right. And on Friday and Saturday, at the race track. It turned out to be an awesome vehicle though, after I put new rings and valves into the engine. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage. Adam couldn't talk about his Mother's cooking, and Eve couldn't mention all the men she could/should have married. ________________________________________________ A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, magnificent house, big car, the love of beautiful woman, then, POW! It was all gone!" "What happened?," asked the friend. "My wife found out." __________________________________________________  _________________________________________________ Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Finally, when he could take it any longer, he jumped up, and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, Harold, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!" ________________________________________________ A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water." ____________________________________________________  ___________________________________________________ In a big city at a crowded bus stop a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the bus' first step. So slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus to discover she still could not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time she attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily by the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!!" At this the Texan drawled " Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends." ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny sneaks up behind a girl and yells: "BOO!" "Hey!" exclaims the girl, you scared me half out of my pants!" Johnny responds: "BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Mark Rivera, 50, Winfield, Illinois, USA Ex pastor gets 15 year prison sentence for child sexual assault case A former lay pastor at a Big Rock church is being sentenced to fifteen years in prison in a child sexual assault case in Kane County. The Kane County State's Attorney's Office says 50-year- old Mark Rivera, of Winfield, was found guilty by a jury back in December of criminal sexual assault of a child and aggravated criminal sexual abuse. Prosecutors say that on multiple occasions between June of 2018 and May of 2019 Rivera sexually assaulted a victim under the age of thirteen-years-old. During that time, Rivera was acting as a lay pastor at the Anglican Church of North American in Big Rock. He is said to have known the victim. Rivera will also be required to register for life as a sexual offender. He was sentenced to twelve years for the sexual assault charge and three years for the sexual abuse charge. Rivera will have to serve at least 85 percent of the twelve year sentence. He is eligible for day-for-day credit on the sexual abuse charge. The two sentences will be served back-to-back. _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Lizzie Re:Memory chips DearWebby I got one of those 32 GB emory chips, that you recommended. It sure makes my trusty old 40 GB hard drive look small and ancient!In theory. I have not got it working yet. Believe it or not, I have not found a slot to stick it in. Now what? Lizzie Dear Lizzie Go to the store, where you bought the chip, and tell them that they should have plugged in a brain and sold you a chip reader. They are usually $9 - $12, depending on how fancy the packaging is. I still use my chip reader, that I bought at a BestBuy in Tucson in the mid 90s. It has survived many computers since then. Just plug it into a USB socket, stick the chip into it, and Windows will ask you what you want to do with it. Select "Open folder to view files" Then you can drag files to and from it with the Windows FILE explorer, and even with most paint programs. It acts like just another hard drive, and joy was in all the lands! When you get more memory chips, for example to do back- ups, use fingernail polish in different colors to identify them. Toenail polish works too! Get a couple of zip-lock baggies, tape one to the side of the monitor to put the currently in use chips and chip reader into, and the second one to put into your safety deposit box at the bank, for your back-ups. If a meteor hits your house and craters it while you are at Tim Hortons, just get the insurance to buy you a new computer, and chip reader, and transfer the backup from the hot pink labelled chip into it. Have FUN! DearWebby _________________________________________________ Today, March 11 537, The Goths began their siege on Rome. 1302, The characters Romeo and Juliet were married this day according to William Shakespeare. 1649, The peace of Rueil was signed between the Frondeurs (rebels) and the French government. 1665, A new legal code was approved for the Dutch and English towns, guaranteeing religious observances unhindered. 1702, The Daily Courant, the first regular English newspaper was published. 1791, Samuel Mulliken became the first person to receive more than one patent from the U.S. Patent Office. 1810, The Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was married by proxy to Archduchess Marie Louise of Austria. 1824, The U.S. War Department created the Bureau of Indian Affairs. Seneca Indian Ely Parker became the first Indian to lead the Bureau. 1845, Seven hundred Maoris led by their chief, Hone-Heke, burned the small town of Kororareka. The act was in protest to the settlement of Maoriland by Europeans, which was a breach of the 1840 Treaty of Waitangi. 1861, A Confederate Convention was held in Montgomery, Alabama, where a new constitution was adopted. 1865, Union General William Sherman and his forces occupied Fayetteville, NC. 1867, In Hawaii, the volcano Great Mauna Loa erupted. 1882, The Intercollegiate Lacrosse Association was formed in Princeton, NJ. 1888, The "Blizzard of '88" began along the U.S. Atlantic Seaboard shutting down communication and transportation lines. More than 400 people died.(March 11-14) 1900, British Prime Minister Lord Salisbury rejected the peace overtures offered from the Boer leader Paul Kruger. 1901, Britain rejected an amended treaty to the canal agreement with Nicaragua. 1901, U.S. Steel was formed when industrialist J.P. Morgan purchased Carnegie Steel Corp. The event made Andrew Carnegie the world's richest man. 1904, After 30 years of drilling, the north tunnel under the Hudson River was holed through. The link was between Jersey City, NJ, and New York, NY.https://on-this-day.com 1905, The Parisian subway was officially inaugurated. 1907, U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt induced California to revoke its anti-Japanese legislation. 1907, In Bulgaria, Premier Nicolas Petkov was killed by an anarchist. 1927, Samuel Roxy Rothafel opened the famous Roxy Theatre in New York City. 1930, Babe Ruth signed a two-year contract with the New York Yankees for the sum of $80,000. 1930, U.S. President Howard Taft became the first U.S. president to be buried in the National Cemetery in Arlington, VA. 1935, The German Air Force became an official department of the Reich. 1941, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt authorized the Lend-Lease Act, which authorized the act of providing war supplies to the Allies. 1946, Communists and Nationalists began fighting as the Soviets pulled out of Mukden, Manchuria. 1946, Pravda denounced Winston Churchill as anti-Soviet and a warmonger. 1947, The DuMont network aired "Movies For Small Fry." It was network television's first successful children's program. 1948, Reginald Weir became the first black tennis player to participate in a U.S. Indoor Lawn Tennis Association tournament. 1964, U.S. Senator Carl Hayden broke the record for continuous service in the U.S. Senate. He had worked 37 years and seven days. 1965, The American navy began inspecting Vietnamese junks in an effort to end arms smuggling to the South. 1969, Levi-Strauss started selling bell-bottomed jeans. 1978, Bobby Hull (Winnipeg Jets) joined Gordie Howe by getting his 1,000th career goal. 1985, Mikhail Gorbachev was named the new chairman of the Soviet Communist Party. 1986, Popsicle announced its plan to end the traditional twin-stick frozen treat for a one-stick model. 1988, A cease-fire was declared in the war between Iran and Iraq. 1990, Lithuania declared its independence from the Soviet Union. It was the first Soviet republic to break away from Communist control. 1990, In Chile, Patricio Aylwin was sworn in as the first democratically elected president since 1973. 1992, Former U.S. President Nixon said that the Bush administration was not giving enough economic aid to Russia. 1993, Janet Reno was unanimously confirmed by the U.S. Senate to become the first female attorney general. 1993, North Korea withdrew from the Nuclear Non- Proliferation Treaty refusing to open sites for inspection. 1994, In Chile, Eduardo Frei was sworn in as President. It was the first peaceful transfer of power in Chile since 1970. 1997, An explosion at a nuclear waste reprocessing plant caused 35 workers to be exposed to low levels of radioactivity. The incident was the worst in Japan's history. 1998, The International Astronomical Union issued an alert that said that a mile-wide asteroid could come very close to, and possibly hit, Earth on Oct. 26, 2028. The next day NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that there was no chance the asteroid would hit Earth. 2002, Two columns of light were pointed skyward from ground zero in New York as a temporary memorial to the victims of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. 2023, Do smiled.
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