Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, August 25, 2022 Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs. So you will have a vacation for a few days.  ___________________________________________________ History on this day, August 25, in 1941, Soviet and British troops invaded Iran. This was in reaction to the Shah's refusal to reduce the number of German residents. ____________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Phoenix robbery suspect arrested after reportedly targeting PetSmart stores in Arizona, California _________________________________________________ 1941, Soviet and British troops invaded Iran. This was in reaction to the Shah's refusal to reduce the number of German residents. __________________________________________________ Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised. --- Marilyn Manson (1969 - ) Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. --- Frank Leahy __________________________________________________ >From Micah US laws It is illegal for a woman in Montana to dance on a bar with less than 3 pounds of clothing on. Steel toe work boots qualify. In Virginia it is illegal to go out without wearing a corset. By the way there used to be an Official Corset Inspector. In Missouri, however, corsets were prohibited as it denied men the privilege of seeing the naturally curvaceous form of women. In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal for a woman to wear patent leather shoes in case she offends onlookers with a glimpse of her panties in the reflection. Hey, the most of the girls I know from Cleveland, dont even WEAR panties. I love their cute shiny shoes! In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm. In Newcastle, Wyoming there is a law against having sex in a butcher shop's meat freezer. In Ventura County, California there is a law against cats and dogs having sex without a permit. In Texas, its illegal to possess more than (6) dildos or vibrators, while its perfectly legal to carry concealed weapons. In Washington, D.C. there is a law against having sex in any position other than face-to-face. __________________________________________________ The newlywed couple had been up for a while before they met up in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with John, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitation that morning. "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Jill, "breakfast will be ready." "Great!" John said, "What are we having for breakfast?" And Jill said, "Toast and juice." __________________________________________________  Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Samuel Sven Smith, 26, Phoenix, Arizona, USA.  Phoenix robbery suspect arrested after reportedly targeting PetSmart stores in Arizona, California  A Phoenix man accused of robbing nearly a dozen stores in Arizona and southern California was taken into custody on Aug. 20 after leading federal agents on a high-speed chase and shooting at them. He wasnt robbing luxury retailers. Police say his target was a popular pet store chain. Federal prosecutors say a 26-year-old Phoenix man went on a month-long crime spree robbing 10 store employees at gunpoint. Nine of those stores were different PetSmart locations across southern California and a PetSmart in Phoenix. Prosecutors say in the end, the suspect ended up accidentally shooting himself. According to a search warrant filed in Orange County, California, the person in each of the surveillance photos is believed to be Samuel Sven Smith. Smith has faced past criminal charges in Arizona for marijuana and indecent exposure. "He is an Arizona resident, renting the cars in Arizona, and driving to southern California for all these robberies," says Jeff Chemerinsky with the U.S. Attorneys Office. According to court records, Smith would pick out an item and pay for it, then hed pull out a gun and demand cash from the employee. On Aug. 18, agents say Smith robbed a Phoenix PetSmart at Tatum and Shea boulevards. MORE: Arizona man charged with 3-week crime spree across Southern California, Arizona Surveillance video captured the license plate of the car he drove from the scene. "They tracked one of the license plates to a Turo rental car. They got the records from Turo and got the identity of the renter," Chemerinsky said. Turo describes itself as a "peer-to-peer carsharing company" where people can rent their cars out to others without the need for a car rental company. Prosecutors say Smith rented three different cars from Turo that were used in the robbery spree. Agents also tracked Smiths cell phone, which led them to a California PetSmart in Rancho Cucamonga. They spotted the same vehicle from the Phoenix robbery. "Federal agents tried to intercept him as he left, and he opened fire on the agents," Chemerinsky said. An agents vehicle was hit, Smith sped off, and law enforcement began to chase him. "Sheriffs deputies did a maneuver to stop his vehicle, rammed into his car. At that time, he accidentally shot himself then he was taken into custody," Chemerinsky said. Prosecutors say Smith accidentally shot himself in the chin when his vehicle was rammed. Agents dont know why he targeted PetSmart stores. He now faces charges, including armed robbery and assaulting federal officers. If convicted, Smith could face up to 50 years in federal prison. _____________________________________________________ Thanks to subscriber Wendy in Camden!   Wendy __________________________________________________ "I never would have married you if I knew how stupid you were!" shouted the woman to her husband! The husband replied, "You should've known how stupid I am the minute I asked you to marry me!" _____________________________________________________ One morning, while shaving, George started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?" ___________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Jaye RE: Microsoft browser HI Webby, I keep getting alerts to download the new browser by Microsoft...Says it is recommended...Is it safe to do and what is the difference? Thanks for all your advice. Jaye color> Dear Jaye Yes, of course they recommend that you send the profits from the ads to Microsoft instead of to Google. Their EDGE browser is quite safe and about the same as Google Chrome, just slower and a few things shuffled around a bit, so that they don't get sued. There is no real difference except where the money goes. You can have Chrome AND Edge open side by side. They don't clash or interfere with each other. Make sure those nags are really from Microsoft, and not from some scammer pretending to be Micrsosoft! HaveFUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________   Shirley Otway Northern Hawk Owl Kananaskis ___________________________________________________ Q: What do you get when you mix Holy Water and Prune Juice? A: A Religious Movement. ___________________________________________________ One night at the dinner table, Jill commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..." "Nonsense, darling," replied John, "you just cook better now." _____________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________  Today, August 25, in 1718, Hundreds of colonists from France arrived in Louisiana. Some settled in present-day New Orleans. 1814, The U.S. Library of Congress was destroyed by British forces. 1825, Uruguay declared independence from Brazil. 1840, Joseph Gibbons received a patent for the seeding machine. 1875, Captain Matthew Webb swam from Dover, England, to Calais, France making him the first person to swim the English Channel. The feat took about 22 hours. 1902, "Al-Hoda" began publication in New York City making it the first Arabic daily newspaper in the U.S. 1916, The National Park Service was established as part of the U.S. Department of the Interior. 1920, Ethelda Bleibtrey won the 100-meter freestyle swimming competition in Antwerp, Belgium. She was the first woman to win an Olympic competition for the U.S. 1920, The first airplane to fly from New York to Alaska arrived in Nome. 1921, The U.S. signed a peace treaty with Germany. 1939, The movie "Wizard of Oz" opened around the United States. 1940, Arno Rudolphi and Ann Hayward were married while suspended in parachutes at the Worlds Fair in New York City. 1941, Soviet and British troops invaded Iran. This was in reaction to the Shah's refusal to reduce the number of German residents. 1941, Allied forces invaded Iran. Within four days the Soviet Union and England controlled Iran. 1941, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the bill appropriating funds for construction of the Pentagon. 1944, Paris, France, was liberated by Allied forces ending four years of German occupation. 1944, Romania declared war on Germany. 1949, NBC Radio debuted "Father Knows Best." The show went to TV in 1954. 1950, U.S. President Truman ordered the seizure of U.S. railroads to avert a strike. 1972, In Great Britain, computerized axial tomography (CAT scan) was introduced. 1978, The Turin shroud believed to be the burial cloth of Jesus Christ went on display for the first time in 45 years. 1981, The U.S. Voyager 2 sent back pictures and data about Saturn. The craft came within 63,000 miles of the planet. 1983, The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a $10 billion grain pact. 1987, Saudi Arabia denounced the "group of terrorists" that ran the Iranian government. 1988, Iran and Iraq began talks in Geneva after ending their eight years of war. 1990, Military action was authorized by the United Nations to enforce the trade embargo that had been placed on Iraq after their invasion of Kuwait. 1991, Belorussia declared independence from the Soviet Union. 1992, It was reported by researchers that cigarette smoking significantly increased the risk of developing cataracts. 1995, Harry Wu, human rights activist, returned to the United States. He said the spying case against him in China was "all lies." 1997, The tobacco industry agreed to an $11.3 billion settlement with the state of Florida. 1998, A survey released said that 1/3 of Americans use the Internet in 1998. 2022 Do! smiled.