Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, November 1 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Man locked in beer cooler overnight drinks beer, arrested for theft and for breaking probation. Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 1 in 1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel were first exhibited to the public. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood. --- Louise Beal ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added., "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A girl says to the salesman, "I'm not sure if I should buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker." He says, "Well, that depends. Are you going sweat, or are you gonna break wind?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Walter the Stonecarver at staglieno.org Staglieno is the original "Marble Orchard", acres of statues and monuments. Walter and his friends are scrubbing and restoring the statues. Go have a look! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeremy Van Ert, 38, Marshfield, Wisconsin Man locked in beer cooler overnight drinks beer, arrested for theft and for breaking probation. A Marshfield man is behind bars after police say he was locked inside a beer cooler at a convenience store, had several drinks, and then fled. Jeremy Van Ert, 38, was charged with retail theft and is currently behind bars on a probation hold. Authorities said Van Ert walked inside the Marshfield Kwik Trip on Central Avenue on Tuesday night, before midnight. They said the man was automatically locked inside when the clock hit midnight. "The subject found himself locked in the beer cooler, knew that Kwik Trip would not sell him any beer, so he decided to remain in the beer cooler," said Marshfield Police Chief Rick Gramza. "A customer came by the beer cooler at about 6 a.m. and saw him inside." According to the police report, Van Ert drank an 18 ounce bottle of Icehouse Beer and three cans of Four Loko. He also fell over a stack of 30 pack Busch Light Cans. "This is unique, I've been here twenty years. I've heard of people being locked inside of buildings, never inside of a beer cooler," Gramza said. Van Ert fled the scene and was later arrested by police. Gramza said Van Ert is currently in the Wood County Jail on a probation hold from an unrelated case. That probation required him to remain sober. Kwik Trip officials told police they will be reviewing their security. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annette Re: Missing child email Dear Webby, I got an email about a missing 14 yr. old. her name is Ashley Flores, is this true or another eamil someone is sending around? Thanks, Annette. Dear Annette It's just a hoax sent out in order to collect the addreses of the most gullible people on the net. Don't even bother to send back a correction, just trash it. Whenever there is a request to forward stuff to your friends, dump it. The same on AOL or FaceBook. Any appeal to forward something, is bad, and often contains malicious paylaods. If you see an appeal to forward, dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes was overheard saying to his friend, "I don't really like to dress like this, but it's the only thing that gets me out of having to go shopping with Mom." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
These are actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville, AL metropolitan area. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Statistics. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen). A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U. Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section." A: The caesarian section is the red light district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport. Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning. A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head. Q: What is a Hindu? A: It lays eggs. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses for Old Jeans Re yesterday's tip about used jeans: From Honey: old jeans make a great quilt for a teenager going off to college. I back it with good flannel and leave some pockets on it and I leave the seams on the wrong side to give a chenile effect after a few washings. Honey Uses for Socks Here are some uses for unmatched socks. Make a sock puppet with some sewn on buttons for eyes. Put a sock on your hand and use it as a dust rag. Slip a sock over a yard stick and secure it with a rubber band and to clean under your fridge. Save them for the winter when you need to wear two pairs. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Rex for this report: A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. Thasch why you alwaysch feel schmarter after a few -bburp- beersch. __________________________________________________ The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him for an examination. "Mrs. Smith, I have some good news for you." The woman said, "I'm glad to hear that doctor, but I'm Miss Smith, not Mrs." "Oh. Well, in that case Miss Smith," said the doctor without changing expression, "I have some bad news for you." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. "I certainly don't want to frighten you into a decision," he announced, standing up to leave. "Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think." ____________________________________________________ | Today, November 1, in 1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel were first exhibited to the public. 1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal by an earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami. 1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the American colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on the same day that the Parliament passed the Declaratory Acts which asserted that the British government had free and total legislative power of the colonies. 1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president to live in the White House when he moved in. 1856 The first photography magazine, Daguerreian Journal, was published in New York City, NY. 1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief of the American Union armies. 1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The money orders provided a safe way to payments by mail. 1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological observations using 24 locations that provided reports via telegraph. 1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application for a high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898). 1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first time. It later became known as "Billboard." 1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died. 1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the first class. 1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis in Libya. It was the first aerial bombing. 1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in which he described the alliance between Italy and Nazi Germany as an "axis" running between Berlin and Rome. 1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the first movie for Abbott and Costello. 1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter plane hit an airliner. 1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate U.S. President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when they tried to force their way into Blair House in Washington, DC. 1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands. 1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule. 1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the first goalie in the NHL to wear a mask. 1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change its orbit. 1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG- 13 and NC-17 went into effect. 1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks against the U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took 63 Americans hostage. 1981 The U.S. Postal Service raised the first-class letter rate to 20 cents. 1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a Mexican anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug traffickers. 1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's Central Committee. 1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when East Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. 1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end of a cease-fire with the Contra rebels. 1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took effect. 1994 The Amazon.com domain name was registered. 1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced that between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32- square mile area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in northern Nicaragua by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch. 1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global satellite phone and paging system. 2017 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
http://www.domyessay.net does not pay their invoices Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
Virus Hoaxes
Virus / Trojan / Malware Info
Straight from McAfee Threat Center
FREE HTML Course !
Get the REAL McAfee
at incredible discount!
used and
Highly recommended
by Dear Webby
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price! Roboform, still the best password manager.
Still FREE
Highly recommended by DearWebby
FREE, no fuss download!
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per week.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Click a meal to a homeless vet!
HungerSite
A free click donates a cup of food to a hungry person.
The number of mammograms donated thanks to clicks has dropped quite noticeably when these two ladies went away. So here they are back, working hard to get you to click. Donate by clicking on them!
BreastCancer Site
A free click helps to donate mammograms to women who can not afford one.
Feed the Animals!
Animal Rescue
Do, Please Feed Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
|
