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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, October 7 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, october 7, in 1913, For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly line when the chassis was added to the process. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Escaped inmate arrested at his own birthday ____________________________________________________ Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had. --- Michael Crichton (1942 - 2008) After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. --- Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC) ___________________________________________________ A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character. Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence. The service matched them together instantly. They both had identical scores on the BS meter. ____________________________________________________ A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway." "Actually," said the guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." "Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?" "Yes, indeed. He wrote a check." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Forenza Rakeem Murphy, 31, Bridgeport, Georgia, usa Escaped inmate arrested at his own birthday An escaped inmate in Connecticut was arrested at his own birthday party after spending months on the run from police. According to the Henry County Sheriffs Office, 31-year-old Forenza Rakeem Murphy was serving time on a robbery charge at a Connecticut Department of Corrections Halfway House in Bridgeport, when he left without permission. Police said just after 4 p.m. Saturday, officers received a tip that Murphy was spotted in McDonough while attending his own birthday party at a family members house. Murphy was arrested and taken into custody just as family members were setting up for his party, police said. Sheriff Reginald B. Scandrett says, If you make your way into Henry County, were going to get on your trail and we wont stop until youre caught. It was a great collaborative effort with the Connecticut DOC that led to the apprehension of Murphy. Forenza Murphy had been on the run since August 8. and will now face additional charges. _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush. _____________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Good Morning, Helmut-End-Of-List! Today is Sunday, January 17 Thank you, Helen! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Madwoman In Mask Meltdown At Bagel Shop ___________________________________________________ Today, January 17 in 2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture agreement to produce software with two partners in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group. _____________________________________________________ After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. --- Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC) _____________________________________________________ On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he continued on for another twenty minutes, repeating his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one older gentleman in the rear. "Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," replied Mr. Jones. "Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "One hundred and six," was the reply. "Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to one hundred and six and not have an enemy in the world." The old man teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around. "It's easy. I just outlived all them rotten no-good nuisances!" _________________________________________________ Dearwebby's tech support pits m:B.Frick Re: Mixed mailout Dear Webby We want to email out some urgent corrections to the manual of one of our products instead of snail-mailing the correction pages or entire manuals. It contains some graphics and some look-up tables, not just text. My secretary wants to do it with a PDF file but I think there must be a better way. I phoned some clients, and none of those want to deal with PDF. What would you recommend? B.Frick Dear B. Aside from upgrading your secretarial staff immediately, I would recommend ANYTHING but PDF for that. PDF is great for making a print job look exactly like the original, no matter what kind of printer is used. For anything other than printing, PDF is generally just a nuissance, unless the recipient has a usually expensive program available. Just save it in HTML format and upload it onto the web or attach it to an email. Everybody has a browser and can view it. Have fun! Dear webby ___________________________________________________ The Classifieds - 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. - Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. - A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. - The hotel has howling alleys, tennis carts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities. _____________________________________________________ At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?" _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, october 7, in 1765, Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to New York City for the Stamp Act Congress. The delegates adopted the "Declaration of Rights and Grievances." 1777, During the American Revolution the second Battle of Saratoga began. 1868, Cornell University was inaugurated in Ithaca, NY. 1913, For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly line when the chassis was added to the process. 1918, The Georgia Tech football team defeated Cumberland College 222-0. Georgia Tech carried the ball 978 yards and never threw a pass. 1949, The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 1950, The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat to enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops over the border into North Korea. 1951, The Western Hills Hotel in Fort Worth, TX, became the first hotel to feature all foam-rubber mattresses and pillows. 1956, A U.S. House subcommittee began investigations of allegedly rigged TV quiz shows. 1963, U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty with Britain and the Soviet Union. 1968, The Motion Picture Association of America adopted the film-rating system that ranged for "G" to "X." 1981, The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of Anwar Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next president of Egypt. 1982, A record was set when 147,000,000 shares were exchanged on the New York Stock Exchange. 1985, The United States announced that it would no longer automatically comply with World Court decisions. 1989, In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism in favor of democratic socialism. 1993, U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, and naval firepower to Somalia. 1994, U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier to the Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving toward Kuwait. The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 1998, The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that alleged Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by preventing banks from offering other cards. 1999, American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to $4.83 billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet drug caused dangerous problems with heart valves. 2000, Vojislav Kostunica took the oath of office as Yugoslavia's first popularly elected president. 2001, The U.S. and Great Britain began airstrikes in Afghanistan in response to that state's support of terrorism and Osama bin Laden. The act was the first military action taken in response to the terrorist attacks on the U.S. on September 11, 2001. 2003, In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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