Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, July 17 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Pervert begs paedophile hunters to let him go after he was caught trying to meet girl, 12  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 17 in 1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors. --- William Ralph Inge Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. --- H. L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ On a wall in a ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it "I do not" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice Wednesday evenings, and often head for a restaurant afterwards with their fellow choir members. Florence soon noticed that every time she had a glass of wine, it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James agreed with her that it might be better if she abstained, and so she did. On one post choir occasion, however, Florence decided, after some hesitation, to order a glass of wine. Some time passed with no untoward consequences. Then she waved happily across the big table where her colleagues all sat and announced in a loud voice, "Hey James! I don't have a headache tonight!" ______________________________________________________   Iceland _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Praju Prasad, 24, North Shields, England  Pervert begs paedophile hunters to let him go after he was caught trying to meet girl, 12  A man fell to his knees and begged paedophile hunters to let him go after he was snared attempting to meet up with what he thought was a 12-year-old girl. Praju Prasad, 24, had been talking to who he thought was a youngster on social media and arranged to meet her at a train station this week. But he was instead met by members of Guardians of the North, an undercover organisation who catch men who are trying to meet children for sex. The police were called and Prasad was arrested and charged with attempting to meet a girl under the age of 16 after grooming. Before the officers arrived, he got down on his knees and repeatedly begged the group to leave him alone. At Newcastle Crown Court this week Prasad, of Bell Street, North Shields, was handed nine month prison sentence suspended for 18 months and a 140 fine after previously pleading guilty. He was also ordered to sign the sex offenders register for five years. Man chases scooter gang with hammer after they 'try to steal his motorbike' Prasad had originally attempted to book a hotel for himself and the 'girl'. But when he was told none of them would accommodate a man and a child he instead arranged a meeting at North Shields Metro Station. There he was met by members of the group who filmed themselves confronting him with the words: 'You are here to meet a 12-year-old girl for sex.' Prasad then repeatedly begs for mercy as he kneels on the floor and grabs the legs of a group member. He says: 'Please, leave me alone. Please, I beg you. Please, I beg you.' Speaking after the case a member of Guardians of the North said: 'This highlights the important work that we do. 'If this man hadn't been caught by us then he could well have gone on to abuse an actual child. 'We are not happy with the sentence. We believe that judges need to be tougher as this kind of offending needs to be stamped out before more serious crimes are committed.' Guardians of the North, set up just over a year ago, pose as teen girls and boys online to snare men looking to meet youngsters for sex. They have so far apprehended 117 potential paedophiles and seen around 30 convicted.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Tom Re: Moisture migration Dear Webby, You have been such a help with computer questions, and seem to have a great deal of knowledge on everyday items also. I would appreciate it if you could find an answer for this question. I take my lunch to work in a plastic cooler about 12 X 16 inches and 18 deep. I put a few cans of soda in the bottom, cover them with ice and then put my sandwich in on top. Some time the sandwich is wrapped in Saran Wrap and sometimes in wax paper and then put in a plastic sealable sandwich bag. By lunch time sometimes, and only sometimes, the bread on one side of the sandwich is soggy and the other slice is hard, dried out. I leave my cooler in the car and this seems to happen all year round. (Chicago area) Why does this happen and how do I stop it? Tom  Dear Tom Moisture in the sandwich will condense in the cold side, which will reduce the humidity in the sandwich bag, causing more liquid to evaporate on the warm side, and condense on the cold side. The remedy is using a square Tupperware style sandwich container and putting a square or two of bubble-wrap below the sandwich. That bubble-wrap prevents direct conduction of heat from the sandwich to the ice below, and the whole sandwich will have closer to the same temperature, and very little moisture migration. In a pinch, a bubble-wrap padded envelope will work nearly as well. Have FUN! DearWebby    Kids! How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8 What Do You Think Your Mom And Dad Have In Common? Both don't want any more kids. Lori, age 8 What Do Most People Do On A Date? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8 When Is It OK To Kiss Someone? When they're rich. Pam, age 7 Is It Better To Be Single Or Married? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9 How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Ice Cream  Don't let ice cream soften and then refreeze. The ideal temperature to store ice cream is between -5 and 0 Fahrenheit. Store ice cream inside of your freezer rather than on the door where the temperature is more likely to fluctuate. Make sure the lid on your ice cream container is closed tightly. Some containers are tough to keep closed once they have been opened, store those inside of a plastic bag or wrap them with tin foil. Tip provided by http://www.ThriftyFun.com  ____________________________________________________  
 
 
Birds annoying cats 
 ____________________________________________________  I was peacefully working away when the phone disturbed me. "Hello?" I said. A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I don't like people who call wrong numbers. I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end... a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean... who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't Jennifer. Good guess though. "Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this..." *Click* ___________________________________________________  
 
 Tree carving like I've never seen before! 
 ___________________________________________________ Two Cajun commercial fishermen, Boudreaux & Thibodeaux went out in the Gulf of Mexico fishing. They were gone a couple of months. On their return, they noticed a Taco Bell had been built while they were away. Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says "Look at dat, we not gone no time and dem Mexicans done come over here & built a teliphone company!" 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this: The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately: 1. High fever 2. Congestion 3. Nausea 4. Fatigue 5. Aching in the joints 6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield 
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 Today, on July 17, in 1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. 1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which ended the 100 Years' War. 1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain. 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at Rochefort, France. 1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. 1862 National cemeteries were authorized by the U.S. government. 1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709. 1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War. 1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name. Their German name had become unfashionable. 1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives for an office building that could house 40,000 War Department employees on his desk by the following Monday morning. The building became known as the Pentagon. 1945 U.S. President Truman, Soviet leader Josef Stalin and British Prime Minister Winston S. Churchill began meeting at Potsdam in the final Allied summit of World War II. During the meeting Stalin made the comment that "Hitler had escaped." 1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist army on the Yangtze River. 1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over the Soviet Union. 1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes. 1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft in orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and Soviet Union. 1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and fled to Miami in exile. (Florida) 1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took place when LTV Corporation asked for court protection from more than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts in excess of $4 billion. 1987 Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North and rear Admiral John Poindexter begin testifying to Congress at the "Iran- Contra" hearings. 1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last 400 stores. 1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the genome (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium. 2008 In China, construction of the Shanghai World Financial Center was completed. 2017 Do smiled.

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