Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, July 3 _____________________________________________________ Today, July 3 1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Customer arrested for scalding Burger King worker ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. --- B. F. Skinner The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth. --- Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964) AOC is counting on that. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly. At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side. When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?" "Well," Jake replied, "the women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty," so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, "Is that mule for sale?" ______________________________________________________` Budhas Temple, a succulent. Most cactus stores have them for $2 and up, depending on their age. There are even red blooming hybrids available. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anastasia Lantier, 18, Seminole, Florida Customer arrested for scalding Burger King worker Following a dispute in the drive-thru lane of a Burger King, a Florida teenager yesterday walked into the restaurant and threw a cup of scalding coffee on a fast food worker who suffered burns on her face, hands, and arms, police report. According to an arrest affidavit, Anastasia Lantier, 18, entered the Burger King around 10:20 AM due to an issue at the drive through. Once inside the Seminole restaurant, Lantier got into a verbal altercation with Cynthia Crumb, a 21-year-old restaurant employee. During that argument, Lantier (seen at right) allegedly grabbed a coffee cup that was sitting on the counter and threw it at Crumb. The coffee--which cops measured at 250 degrees-- splashed all over Crumb, burning the victim on her face and hands/arms. During an ensuing physical altercation, Lantier scratched Crumb, while the worker bit and scratched Lantier. With her mother in tow, Lantier left the Burger King before police arrived. The teenager was subsequently questioned by cops at her St. Petersburg home. Lantier initially admitted to grabbing the cup, but claimed she did not know what was in the coffee cup or what she was going to do with it. She subsequently admitted to grabbing the cup with the intention of throwing it in the general direction of the victim, police reported. Lantier was arrested on a felony aggravated battery charge for causing great bodily harm, permanent disability, or permanent disfigurement to Crumb, seen at left. The injuries to Crumb, a mother of two small children, are not described in court records. Lantier was freed last night from the county jail after posting $10,000 bond. The defendant, who graduated high school last month, is listed as working for a customer service call center in Tampa. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Kevin Re: Monitor cleaner Dear Webby Do I need to buy that expensive monitor cleaning fluid, or is there a cheaper alternative? Thanks Kevin Dear Kevin Ordinary Windex or similar glass cleaner works fine. For wiping material you can use micro-fiber cloth, old, well wornand washed T-Shirts cut into rags, anything soft like old cloth diapers or bed sheets. Paper is OK for CRT monitors, but for LCD monitors, which sometimes have soft material on the screen, you definitely should use soft and clean cloth. CRT monitors should be turned off for a while before cleaning. They use powerful electrical attraction to attract the beams of electrons from the back to the front. Some of that attraction also works to attract dirt to the front of the screen. When your Windex liquifies the dirt and the surfactant in it creeps under the dirt to lift it off, it also creeps into the microscopic craters that are etched into the glass, to make it less reflective. Best is to clean it once with just barely enough spray, to get the dirt off, and then once more with plenty of liquid, to clean out the tiny craters. Have FUN! DearWebby Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. In a high school gym class, all the girls are lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Every ten seconds, they walk toward each other exactly half the remaining distance between them. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?" Mathematician: "Never." Physicist: "In an infinite amount of time." Engineer: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough for all practical purposes." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
*Laws of Life* * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. * Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. * The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. * Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens. * First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else. * Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references. * Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale. * Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot. * The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag. --------------- Not at the store where I shop. If you buy a single chocolate bar, they don't slide it down to the bag boy, but hand it to you to put into your pocket. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Oil from Your Garage Floor Start by soaking the oil stain with mineral spirits, found in the paint section of your hardware store. Let sit for 3 minutes, then scrub with a stiff bristled brush. After scrubbing, lay newspaper on top and let dry. Then wash with 1 cup laundry detergent, 1 cup bleach, and 1 gallon water. thriftyfun.Com You can also just simply use some Zorb-All or any similar dry oil absorbent material. It is cheaper, more effective, easier on the environment, and much easier to use. Zorb-All is actualy a brand name, that has become a generic term, like Xerox or Vise Grip. In your town it may be sold under a different brand, but the people at your automotive parts store will know what you mean. Zorb-All is like kitty litter without deodorant and sparkles and high price. A bag, that will fill two or more 5 gallon buckets, usually costs $6 - $10, depending on the location. Just sprinkle a handful of Zorb-All onto the spill or stain, and move it around a bit with your foot or a broom. Move it around some more an hour later. By next morning it will have absorbed all the oil out of the concrete and you can simply sweep it up. Zorb-All is mostly just bentonite, an agressively absorbent clay. You can just toss it on a gravel driveway or path, and it will go back into the earth, where it and the oil came from. It works on water and anti-freeze spills too. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | In the Bronze Age, People Labored Over Cereal That No One Ate. |
___________________________________________________ Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual friend Mike. She figured that Sandy, another friend who seemed to have much in common with Mike, would be an ideal date. One day Mike came into the restaurant when Sandy was also there. Barbie dragged Mike over to Sandy's table and introduced the two. Then she watched as Mike put his arm around the young woman and said in his best mock-seductive voice, "Hellooooh, Sandy." "You guys know each other?" Barbie asked. "We sure do," said Mike. "She's my sister." ___________________________________________________ An effusive client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. She loved them so much, she couldn't keep from remarking about their cute habits. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished. After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I never realized they had to be baptized." "Yes!", I told her. You don't want them to become heathens, do you?" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits of the program's prepared-food products. She raved about the rich, delicious flavor of the imitation chocolate fudge and the nondairy pops, assuring us that we could eat them without the least fear of ruining our diets. The woman next to me nodded her head emphatically and then whispered, "They're even better when you spread peanut butter on them!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, July 3 in 1608 The city of Quebec was founded by Samuel de Champlain. 1775 U.S. Gen. George Washington took command of the Continental Army at Cambridge, MA. 1790 In Paris, the marquis of Condorcet proposed granting civil rights to women. 1844 Ambassador Caleb Cushing successfully negotiated a commercial treaty with China that opened five Chinese ports to U.S. merchants and protected the rights of American citizens in China. 1863 The U.S. Civil War Battle of Gettysburg, PA, ended after three days. It was a major victory for the North as Confederate troops retreated. 1871 The Denver and Rio Grande Western Railroad Company introduced the first narrow-gauge locomotive. It was called the "Montezuma." 1878 John Wise flew the first American dirigible in Lancaster, PA. 1880 "Science" began publication. Thomas Edison had provided the principle funding. 1898 During the Spanish American War, a fleet of Spanish ships in Cuba's Santiago Harbor attempted to run a blockade of U.S. naval forces. Nearly all of the Spanish ships were destroyed in the battle that followed. 1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila. 1939 Chic Young's comic strip character, "Blondie" was first heard on CBS radio. 1940 Bud Abbott and Lou Costello debuted on NBC radio. 1944 The U.S. First Army opened a general offensive to break out of the hedgerow area of Normandy, France. 1944 During World War II, Soviet forces recaptured Minsk. 1945 U.S. troops landed at Balikpapan and take Sepinggan airfield on Borneo in the Pacific. 1945 The first civilian passenger car built since February 1942 was driven off the assembly line at the Ford Motor Company plant in Detroit, MI. Production had been diverted due to World War II. 1950 U.S. carrier-based planes attacked airfields in the Pyongyang-Chinnampo area of North Korea in the first air-strike of the Korean War. 1954 Food rationing ended in Great Britain almost nine years after the end of World War II. 1974 The Threshold Test Ban Treaty was signed, prohibiting underground nuclear weapons tests with yields greater than 150 kilotons. 1981 The Associated Press ran its first story about two rare illnesses afflicting homosexual men. One of the diseases was later named AIDS. 1986 U.S. President Reagan presided over a ceremony in New York Harbor that saw the relighting of the renovated Statue of Liberty. 1986 Mikhail Baryshnikov became a U.S. citizen at Ellis Island, New York Harbor. 2019 Do smiled. |
|
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price! Roboform, still the best password manager.
Still FREE
Highly recommended by DearWebby
FREE, no fuss download!
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per week.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
| Subscribe | Give a Gift Subscription | Unsubscribe
Click here for Large Print
|
|
