Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 5 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Arizona bus driver arrested for driving under the influence  ___________________________________________________ Today, October 5 in 1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at Homestead Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered U.S. air space and landed without being detected. ____________________________________________________ I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. --- George Best The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced. --- Vic Gold ____________________________________________________ Little Johnny was reading from a Hans Christian Anderson book. "Miss Figpot?" Little Johnny asked, "Does m-i- r-a-g-e spell marriage?" "No Johnny," sighed the teacher. "But it should." ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a ophthalmologist in Prague. The doctor showed the patient the eye chart, displaying the letters CVKPNWXSCZ. "Can you read that?" the doctor asked. "Can I read it?" the Czech replied. "I dated his sister!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jose Manriquez, Phoenix, Arizona, USA  Arizona bus driver arrested for driving under the influence  A bus driver working for the Cartwright Elementary School District has been arrested for driving under the influence while students were on board. Police say a bus aide spotted Jose Manriquez acting erratically on Oct. 1 during a route with eight children onboard. All of the kids were under the age of 8. He reportedly was driving slowly, getting confused and staring off into the distance while at a bus stop. When the aide asked to get off the bus, Manriquez reportedly wouldn't let her leave, and she eventually flagged down another driver. An administrator eventually took him back to campus with the help of the fire department. The Phoenix Fire captain reportedly said that Manriquez "would scream irrationally" and claim that someone put something in his food, despite his normal blood sugar levels.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Samantha Re: More Hot keys for CALC Dear Webby, Those hot keys work GREEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTT! I wrote them onto some masking tape and stuck that to the bottom frame of my monitor. What else have you got for my birthday? Samantha  Dear Samantha Happy Birthday! There are way too many to print here. Just go to Hotkeys and pick out the ones, that you would actually use. Bookmark that page! You will want to come back and pick additional ones. They all work just as slick as CTRL ; Anybody watching you will think you are using magic. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 Jack's grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men's names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her. "Diane," he said, "the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me $10 million when he died." "Don't be ridiculous," she replied, "I don't care who gave you the money!" ____________________________________________ Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip?" ______________________________________________ An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except for one lawyer, who is still going around passing out business cards." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, October 5, in 1813 Chief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians was killed at the Battle of Thames when American forces defeated the British and the allied Indian warriors. 1877 Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians surrendered to the U.S. Army after a 1,000-mile retreat towards the Canadian border. 1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing company. 1930 Laura Ingalls became the first woman to make a transcontinental airplane flight. 1931 Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon landed in Washington after flying non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The flight originated in Japan and took about 41 hours. 1937 U.S. President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" of aggressor nations to push them towards WWII. 1947 U.S. President Harry S Truman held the first televised presidential address from the White House. The subject was the current international food crisis. 1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at Homestead Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered U.S. air space and landed without being detected. 1969 "Monty Python's Flying Circus" debuted on BBC television. 1970 Anwar Sadat took office as President of Egypt replacing Gamal Abdel Nassar. Sadat was assassinated in 1981. 1974 American David Kunst completed the first journey around the world on foot. It took four years and 21 pairs of shoes. He crossed four continents and walked 14,450 miles. 1985 An Egyptian policeman went on a shooting rampage at a Sinai beach. Seven Israeli tourists were killed. The policeman died in prison the following January of an apparent suicide. 1986 Sandinista soldiers captured American Eugene Hasenfus after shooting him down over southern Nicaragua. 1989 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) was named the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize for his nonviolent campaign to end the Chinese domination of Tibet. Gyatso was the 15th Dalai Lama. 1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced that his country would cut its nuclear arsenal in response to the arms reduction that was initiated by U.S. President George Bush. 1993 China set off an underground nuclear explosion. 1995 A 60-day cease-fire was agreed upon by Bosnian combatants. The civil war had lasted 3 1/2. 1997 In London, the Express Newspapers printed an article claiming that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were homosexual and that their marriage was a sham to cover the truth. The paper paid damages in a settlement on October 29, 1998. 1998 The U.S. paid $60 million for Russia's research time on the international space station to keep the cash- strapped Russian space agency afloat. 1999 MCI Worldcom Inc. and Sprint Corp. announced plans to merge. 2006 Walmart rolled out its $4 generic drug program to the entire state of Florida after a successful test in the Tampa area. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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