Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, April 2 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Huffer sideswipes multiple cars in front of courthouse Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, April 2 in 1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish fleet was destroyed by the British at the Battle of Copenhagen. Denmark was on the side of Democracy, England was pro Monarchy. See More of what happened on this day in history.
 ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 ______________________________________________________ I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him. --- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four. --- Katharine Hepburn (1907 - 2003) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Judi had just returned to the United States from a month-long trip to Europe. She'd been to England, France, Spain, Italy, Germany, and Switzerland. Bob met her at the airline gate, hugged her, and asked, "So, how was your trip?" "Oh, it was terrible,." she replied, "The scenery was nice, but the whole place is just full of foreigners." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   Isla Mouro _____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 _____________________________________________________ Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guywas right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Christina Lappin, 50, Jacksonville, Floriduh  Huffer sideswipes multiple cars in front of courthouse  A woman is facing a DUI charge after she drove the wrong way on West Adams Street directly in front of the Duval County Courthouse and sideswiped multiple cars, police said. Christina Lappin, 50, told police she'd gotten off the highway and was disoriented. According to authorities, she had no memory of hitting several cars on West Adams Street. Police said Lappin turned around and stopped in front of the courthouse after officers confronted her. Police pulled the keys from the ignition and searched her car. The search revealed two cans of duster canned air, police said. According to her arrest report, Lappin huffed one of the cans before she was pulled from the car by an officer. She's charged with DUI with property damage and driving without a license. Let's hope this dangerous huffer rams a garbage truck next instead of a school bus!   Tech Support Pits From: Eileen Re: More RAM for bigger hard drive ?  Dear Webby, Is it true that I have to install more RAM into my Toshiba Satellite if I get a bigger hard drive? Eileen  Dear Eileen No, you won't need more RAM because of a bigger hard drive. RAM is just temporary scratch pad memory, not permanent storage memory. Think of it as an electronic Etch-A-Sketch scratch pad that the computer uses to temporarily keep notes. When you write an email, it keeps that in RAM until you finish fixing the typos and hit SEND. Then it send it and permanently writes a copy of it to the OUT mailbox on the hard drive, and shakes the Etch-A-Sketch and clears that email off the RAM. The computer also temporarily stores parts of open programs on the RAM, so that it does not have to keep looking them up on the hard drive. If you were one of the silly people who bought all kinds of utilities for supposedly speeding up or cleaning your computer, then your RAM might get crowded with all that junk. Once you un-install all that stuff and bring your machine back to stock, it will be the same speed demon it was when you bought it. RAM does not get slower with age. Have FUN DearWebby    Thanks to Rolly for this story: Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech Support: "All right, hit Start, Turn Off." Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed." Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game.That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work." Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?" 
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.  
 At a family get together, a young boy of about 8 years of age asks his father, "What does fornication mean?" The dad is freaked out by the question and demands to know, "Where did you hear a word like that?" "From Uncle Charlie," responds the son. Dad charges off to confront his brother. Charlie doesn't have a clue what the problem is and explains that all he said was, "For-an-occasion like this you think they would serve a better wine." 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chill Your Jello Mold Place your Jello mold in fridge to chill before adding the Jello mixture. This will keep the "skin" off the mold. By Sue  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________  For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes and in that time, you can do anything you want." With a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking knowingly. Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head."  
Funny pictures of people trying to take photos of mirrors they're selling 
 ___________________________________________________ The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners with no exceptions. At the end of the sermon he asked rhetorically, "Now does anyone here think they are without sin?" He had only to wait a few seconds before a man in one of the back pews stood up. The pastor asked the man who had the audacity to stand after such a fiery sermon, "Sir, do you really think you are completely without sin?" The man quickly answered, "No sir, I'm not standing up for myself, but for my wife's first husband." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ 
 Today, April 2 in $2.50 Quarter Eagle gold coins, silver dollars, dollars, quarters, dimes and half-dimes to be minted. 1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish fleet was destroyed by the British at the Battle of Copenhagen. Denmark was on the side of Democracy, England was pro Monarchy. 1860 The first Italian Parliament met in Turin. 1872 G.B. Brayton received a patent for the gas-powered streetcar. 1877 The first Egg Roll was held on the grounds of the White House in Washington, DC. 1889 Charles Hall patented aluminum. 1902 The first motion picture theatre opened in Los Angeles with the name Electric Theatre. 1905 The Simplon rail tunnel officially opened. The tunnel went under the Alps and linked Switzerland and Italy. 1910 Karl Harris perfected the process for the artificial synthesis of rubber. 1914 The U.S. Federal Reserve Board announced plans to divide the country into 12 districts. 1917 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson presented a declaration of war against Germany to the U.S. Congress. 1932 A $50,000 ransom was paid for the infant son of Charles and Anna Lindbergh. He child was not returned and was found dead the next month. 1935 Sir Watson-Watt was granted a patent for RADAR. It had been invented in germany, but they never patented it. 1944 The Soviet Union announced that its troops had crossed the Prut River and entered Romania. 1947 The U.N. Security Council voted to appoint the U.S. as trustee for former Japanese-held Pacific Islands. 1951 U.S. General Dwight Eisenhower assumed command of all allied forces in the Western Mediterranean area and Europe. 1958 The National Advisory Council on Aeronautics was renamed NASA. 1960 France signed an agreement with Madagascar that proclaimed the country an independent state within the French community. 1963 Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King began the first non-violent campaign in Birmingham, AL. 1966 South Vietnamese troops joined in demonstrations at Hue and Da Nang for an end to military rule. 1967 In Peking, hundreds of thousands demonstrated against Mao foe Liu Shao-chi. 1972 Burt Reynolds appeared nude in "Cosmopolitan" magazine. 1981 In Lebanon, thirty-seven people were reported killed during fighting in the cities of Beirut and Zahle. It was the worst violence since the 1976 cease fire. 1982 Argentina invaded the British-owned Falkland Islands. The following June Britain took the islands back. The Falklands had be Argentinian before, buit Britain took them. Argentina gave up after a British sub sank the only Argentinian war ship. 1984 In Jerusalem, three Arab gunmen wounded 48 people when they opened fire into a crowd of shoppers. 1986 On a TWA airliner flying from Rome to Athens a bomb exploded under a seat killing four Americans. 1987 The speed limit on U.S. interstate highways was increased to 65 miles per hour in limited areas. 1989 An editorial in the "New York Times" declared that the Cold War was over. 1989 General Prosper Avril, Haiti's military leader, survived a coup attempt. The attempt was apparently provoked by Avril's U.S.-backed efforts to fight drug trafficking. 1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein threatened to incinerate half of Israel with chemical weapons if Israel joined a conspiracy against Iraq. 1992 Mob boss John Gotti was convicted in New York of murder and racketeering. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 1995 The costliest strike in professional sports history ended when baseball owners agreed to let players play without a contract. 1996 Russia and Belarus signed a treaty that created a political and economic alliance in an effort to reunite the two former Soviet republics. 1996 Lech Walesa resumed his old job as an electrician at the Gdansk shipyard. He was the former Solidarity union leader who became Poland's first post-war democratic president. 2002 Israeli troops surrounded the Church of the Nativity. More than 200 Palestinians had taken refuge at the church when Israel invaded Bethlehem. 2013 The United Nations General Assembly adopted the Arms Trade Treaty to regulate the international trade of conventional weapons. 2014 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that limits on the total amount of money individuals can give political candidates and political action committees were unconstitutional. 2018 Do smiled. 
 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog