Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 11  Happy Thanksgiving Day, if you are in or near Canada! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, october 11, in 1939, U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter from Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. atomic bomb program rapidly. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award  Phoenix antique store employees chase after thieves, and catch them.  ____________________________________________________ Imitation is the sincerest form of television. --- Fred Allen (1894 - 1956) Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death. --- James F. Byrnes (1879 - 1972) Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content. --- Louis L'Amour (1908 - 1988) Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ___________________________________________________ On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?" "I'd yell 'Man overboard,'" answered the lookout snappily. "Good," said the officer. "Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?" The lookout asked, "Which one, sir?" ____________________________________________________ "Here's something that will really make you feel grown up," said a father to his teenage daughter, "Your very own phone bill." __________________________________________________  Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Christina Dumitru, Loredana Parolea, Phoenix, Arizona, usa Phoenix antique store employees chase after thieves and catch them.  Theft, video evidence, and a chase ending in an arrest thats how a Phoenix business owner describes what happened at her antique store. Antique Gatherings owner, Amanda, says as a business owner, she expects shoplifting to happen, but what she didn't expect was seeing the suspects come back, and then running after them to get an arrest. Shoplifting is a common occurrence, she says. "Its the nature of the business, any retail store will tell you that," Amanda explains. But whats not common? "Its very rare that we catch the people who steal from us," she said. "And we did." It all started when they noticed jewelry was missing, and sure enough, scrubbing through security camera footage, something caught her eye. It was footage appearing to capture two women snatching merchandise from the counter. Amanda says she and her team took note of their faces. Days later, they came back. Amanda said when the women were approached and questioned, they quickly left. Store employees followed them. "I mean, we had to track them while we had police on the phone. It was like a scene out of a movie," she said. Eventually, Phoenix Police say they arrested the two women. "It felt good," Amanda said. She wants to warn any would-be thieves that someone is always watching. "If theyre going to steal, were going to try to figure out who they are," she warned. Phoenix Police confirm those two women were arrested on suspicion of felony shoplifting. They are identified by police as Christina Dumitru and Loredana Parolea. _____________________________________________________ A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments after class. Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said, "Did you write this poem all by yourself?" The student said, "Every word of it." The professor said, "Well, I thought you were long dead, Mr. Poe. I was always taught that you were long dead." And as he pulled out a wicked looking knife, "I guess I will have to rectify that." _____________________________________________________   Hyacinth Macaw _________________________________________________ Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________   Hyacinth Macaw ___________________________________________________ YOU KNOW YOU'RE LIVING IN THE 22nd CENTURY WHEN... Your reason for not staying in touch with family is because they do not have e-mail addresses. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?" Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home. Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and takes planning. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. You consider second day air delivery painfully slow. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored Post-it notes. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You get up in morning and go on-line before getting your coffee. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed. You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-) _________________________________________________  Dearwebby's tech support pits From:Marge Re: More than one extension Dear Webby I do not understand what you mean by two extensions. Do you mean paper clips or forwards? Please explain. Thank you. Marge  Dear Marge Sometimes people send you a mail that has a file attached. It could be a picture, music, accounting spreadsheet, or it could be some nuisance stuff like a virus or a worm. Each filename has an extension, like color coding, that tells the computer what to do with it. If the file "sunrise" is a picture, then probably the extension would be ".jpg" or ".gif" or .png". When your computer sees ".jpg" or ".gif" at the end of a file, it knows that it is a picture and it opens the file with a picture viewer or picture editor. If the extension is ".xls" or ".odf" then Windows knows it is a spreadsheet file and opens it with the right program. Many viruses are hidden by giving them first a safe looking extension and then tackig a different one behind it. If you see for example a file like "backdoor.jpg.bat", then that file is not a picture, but is a program that installs a backdoor for hackers into your computer, and probably also sends itself to everybody in your address book. Therefore, whenever you see more than one extension on a file, dump it fast and thoroughly. Have fun! Dear webby ___________________________________________________ An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The Doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc,it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Earleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied,"Yep. And no matter what we tried we still couldn't get that damn jar open!" --------- Try a pipe wrench! ___________________________________________________ Best Oxymorons State worker Legally drunk Exact estimate Act naturally Found missing Resident alien Genuine imitation Airline Food Good grief Government organization Sanitary landfill Alone together Small crowd Business ethics Soft rock Butt Head Military Intelligence Sweet sorrow Happily married "Now, then..." Passive aggression Clearly misunderstood Peace force Extinct Life Plastic glasses Terribly pleased Computer security Political science Tight slacks Definite maybe Pretty ugly Rap music Working vacation Microsoft Works _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________  today, october 11, in 1776, During the American Revolution the first naval battle of Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict Arnold suffered heavy losses. 1811, The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 1869, Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. The electric machine was used for counting votes for the U.S. Congress, however the Congress did not buy it because they could not manipulate the conting. 1881, David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film for cameras. 1890, The Daughters of the American Revolution was founded in Washington, DC. 1899, The Boer War began in South Africa between the British and the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State. 1929, JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a nationwide company with stores in all 48 states. 1932, In New York, the first telecast of a political campaign was aired. 1939, U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter from Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. atomic bomb program rapidly. 1942, The Battle of Cape Esperance, during World War II, began in the Solomons. 1968, Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned Apollo mission was the first in which live television broadcasts were received from orbit. Wally Schirra, Don Fulton Eisele and R. Walter Cunningham were the astronauts aboard. 1975, Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham were married in Fayetteville, AR. 1983, The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went out of service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant Pond, ME, were switched to direct-dial service. 1984, American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female astronaut to space walk. She was aboard the space shuttle Challenger. 1994, U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace. 1994, Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border. 1994, The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay rights measure in the state was unconstitutional. 2022 Do! smiled.