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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, August 29, 2022 Thank YOU, Nancy !! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, August 29, in 1965. Gemini 5, carrying astronauts Gordon Cooper and Charles ("Pete") Conrad, splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean after eight days in space. ____________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Half-naked Minnesota lawyer beat ex-wife to death in front of horrified children ____________________________________________________ Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was. --- Margaret Mitchell (1900 - 1949) A lie told often enough becomes the truth. --- Lenin (1870 - 1924), Piglosi, Broom Hilda Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance. Trump ? Nah --- Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC), 55 BC _________________________________________________ The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?" "Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods." The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?" "Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it." Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?" Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?" __________________________________________________ Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Rescue Anne, to practice. My group's model was legless to allow for storage in a carrying case. The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked "Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!" __________________________________________________ A high-priced call girl brings a customer to her fancy apartment. He admires the fancy furnishings and the art and asks how she was able to amass such splendor. She replies that those really were her father's, that he was a politician for forty years. He said, "How come you didn't follow in his footsteps instead of choosing this way of life ?" She sighed and said, "Oh, just lucky I guess. Besides, I had my moral standards to uphold." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anders Odegaard, 31, Minnesota, USA Half-naked Minnesota lawyer beat ex-wife to death in front of horrified children Anders Odegaard faces a charge of second-degree murder in the beating death of his ex-wife, Carissa. A North Dakota lawyer allegedly beat his ex-wife to death in Minnesota on Tuesday as she clung to the youngest of their five children and two others screamed for help, according to the Marshall County Sheriffs Office. The younger boy, 2, was so traumatized he didnt respond to questions from deputies after they had his father in custody and rushed his mother to the hospital. Anders Odegaard, 31, and Carissa Odegaard, also 31, divorced last year, court records show. In a custody dispute this week, he allegedly refused to let her take their kids to church and a fight broke out, deputies wrote in the criminal complaint after interviewing the children. Two of their boys ran outside, flagged a stranger and begged him to call 911 "because their mom was bleeding really bad and needed help," according to the complaint. The first responding deputy found Anders Odegaard in the kitchen wearing just his underwear, with blood on his face and in his hair. Carissa Odegaard was unresponsive lying in a doorway with a pool of blood around her head. The deputy asked him to explain the situation. "I dont feel right," Odegaard replied, according to the complaint. The deputy found that Carissa Odegaard was not breathing. He cuffed the ex-husband and attempted CPR on the victim. He noticed "severe head trauma" and called for an ambulance. The 9-year-old boy told investigators he saw his father strike his mother with a knife or spatula in the head moments before he ran outside and found someone to call 911, according to authorities. He also told deputies hed seen his father hit is mother before. Three brothers, ages 9, 8 and 2, were inside during the attack. Two other siblings were outside in their moms car and were spared the horror, according to the complaint. The 8-year-old told investigators that after beating his mother to the floor, his father "was on top of her choking her." "There was blood all over," he told deputies, and when he tapped his mothers foot, she didnt respond to the touch. Court records show the Odegaards married in May 2011 and officially divorced on Sept. 16, 2021, on the grounds that their marriage was "irretrievably broken." The slaying comes just days before the ex-couple was due in court for a review hearing. The parents were granted shared legal custody, but the court gave Carissa Odegaard physical custody. Legal custody, under Minnesota law, means the right to be involved in "major decisions determining the childs upbringing." Physical custody means "routine daily care and control of the residence." alizing their divorce last year, was described as the Mercer County States Attorney in North Dakota. Marshall County Attorney Donald Aandal told Fox News Digital he did not want to go into detail about the case, citing the active investigation, but said Odegaards full work history was not readily clear and that hed switched careers several times. According to the Mercer County State's Attorney's Office, Odegaard held the job for three months, from June to September 2021, before being fired. He spent three months as a public defender in Stark County, North Dakota, and was fired again. After another brief stint at a private practice, he moved back to Minnesota. Odegaard faces a maximum sentence of 40 years in prison if convicted on the second-degree murder charge. Prosecutors are also seeking aggravated charges because "the victim was treated with particular cruelty" and because there were multiple child witnesses. He made his first court appearance Thursday and was ordered held on $5 million bond without conditions, $2,500,000 surety bond or $250,000 cash. Carissa Odegaard was pronounced brain-dead at Sanford Hospital in Fargo, North Dakota, on Aug. 24. She was being kept on life support until her organs could be donated. It's too bad they don't have executions in Minnesota. _____________________________________________________ Shelly Lynn Hachey-O'Donnell Coyote pups, Calgary __________________________________________________ A high-priced call girl brings a customer to her fancy apartment. He admires the fancy furnishings and the art and asks how she was able to amass such splendor. She replies that those really were her father's, that he was a politician for forty years. He said, "How come you didn't follow in his footsteps instead of choosing this way of life ?" She sighed and said, "Oh, just lucky I guess. Besides, I had my moral standards to uphold." _____________________________________________________ Two young women -- best friends -- try to do everything together. One day, one announces that she is going to start a diet to lose the pounds she has recently gained. "Good," the other exclaims. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," the first woman replies. "I'll ride with you. Let's go to Burger King." ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Gwen RE: Move mouse to laptop Dear Webby, First so glad you're here to help us challenged folks when it comes to computers I have a very old Dell desktop which is still working but I'm thinking maybe not for long so wanted to take the Dell mouse + keyboard and attach them to my HP laptop. Plugged the mouse into my HP laptop and although I can move the cursor around when I click on anything -- nothing happens. Any ideas or suggestions? Sure would be helpful as I enjoy the physical keyboard from my desktop better than the incorporated one on the laptop Keep up the funnies, helps and thanks for all you do to try and keep us sane Cheers, Gwen color> Dear Gwen Microsoft Mouse Center DELL does not make mice any more than Walmat makes them. They are just the Microsoft owned "Walmart" of the computer world. If your mouse is a Microsoft mouse, the Mouse center will allow you to set all 7 buttons. If it is not a Microsoft mouse, then it will play stupid. In that case, you need the driver from that mouse's manufacturer. If nexessary, chat with the DELL support. Logitech has their options at ca/software/options.html">Logitech Options Their support is slow and lazy, but with some persistence you CAN get through and get a driver for your mouse. Theoretically the mouse came with a driver on a CD, but that has probably long been lost or converted to a coaster for your coffee cup. So you will just have to contact the maker of the mouse for the driver. HaveFUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Ron Asp Out for my drive in the afternoon and watched a Great Blue Heron hunting for food. This frog didn't have a chance. All in the food chain. Photo taken near Reynolds Alberta Museum near Wetaskiwin on August 25.2022. Ron Asp ___________________________________________________ On their 30th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no "I" in 'marriage.'" The wife said, "And for my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling." ___________________________________________________ Good Morning, Helmut-End-Of-List! Today is Sunday, November 15 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Kansas City man sentenced in murder of missionary from China ____________________________________ Today, November 10 in 1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. _____________________________________________________ Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) _____________________________________________________ Two young women -- best friends -- try to do everything together. One day, one announces that she is going to start a diet to lose the pounds she has recently gained. "Good," the other exclaims. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," the first woman replies. "I'll ride with you. Let's go to Burger King." _____________________________________________________ Lisel Sean Mascaluk-family Maybe I can reach it if I just lean forward a bit more. This Blue Jay was trying its best to reach for a peanut in Camrose on Nov 11. ___________________________________________________ Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!" _____________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, August 29, in 1828. A patent was issued to Robert Turner for the self- regulating wagon brake. 1833. The "Factory Act" was passed in England to settle child labor laws. 1842. The Treaty of Nanking was signed by the British and the Chinese. The treaty ended the first Opium War and gave the island of Hong Kong to Britain. 1885. The first prizefight under the Marquis of Queensberry Rules was held in Cincinnati, OH. John L. Sullivan defeated Dominick McCaffery in six rounds. 1886. In New York City, Chinese Ambassador Li Hung-chang's chef invented chop suey and the traditional numbered menu. 1892. Pop (Billy) Shriver (Chicago Cubs) caught a ball that was dropped from the top of the Washington Monument in Washington, DC. 1944. During the continuing celebration of the liberation of France from the Nazis, 15,000 American troops marched down the Champs Elysees in Paris. 1945. U.S. General Douglas MacArthur left for Japan to officially accept the surrender of the Japanese. 1949. At the University of Illinois, a nuclear device was used for the first time to treat cancer patients. 1957. Senator Strom Thurmond of South Carolina set a filibuster record in the U.S. when he spoke for 24 hours and 18 minutes. 1962. The lower level of the George Washington Bridge opened. 1965. Gemini 5, carrying astronauts Gordon Cooper and Charles ("Pete") Conrad, splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean after eight days in space. 1966. Mia Farrow withdrew from the cast of the ABC-TV's "Peyton Place." 1983. Two U.S. marines were killed in Lebanon by the militia group Amal when they fired mortar shells at the Beirut airport. 1983. The anchor of the USS Monitor, from the U.S. Civil War, was retrieved by divers. 1990. Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, in a television interview, declared that America could not defeat Iraq. 1991. The Communist Party in the Soviet Union had its bank accounts frozen and activities were suspended because of the Party's role in the failed coup attempt against Mikhail Gorbachev. 1991. The republics of Russia and Ukraine signed an agreement to stay in the Soviet Union. 1992. The U.N. Security Council agreed to send troops to Somalia to guard the shipments of food. 1994. Mario Lemieux announced that he would be taking a medical leave of absence due to fatigue, an aftereffect of his 1993 radiation treatments. He would sit out the National Hockey Leagues (NHL) 1994-95 season. 1998. Northwest Airlines pilots went on strike after their union rejected a last-minute company offer. 2004. India test-launched a nuclear-capable missle able to carry a one-ton warhead. The weapon had a range of 1,560 miles. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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