--- Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, June 25 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: English secondary school makes boys wear skirts to make transgender students feel more at home. Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, June 25 in 1950 North Korea invaded South Korea initiating the Korean War. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them. --- Lily Tomlin When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' --- Theodore Roosevelt ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Mark A Cop came to my house this morning. He asked me where I was in between five and six. He seemed irritated when I said kindergarten. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The storm woke up my peonies _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ In the subway train the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of preserving health. One stout, florid man held forth with great eloquence on the subject. "Look at me!" he said. "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food. Why, gentlemen," he continued, "from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple regular life --- no effeminate delicacies, no late hours, no extravagances. Every day, in fact, summer and winter, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning. I worked from eight to one, then had dinner--a plain dinner, mark my words: after that, an hour's exercise; then.." "Excuse me, sir," interrupted the facetious stranger in the corner, "but what were you in prison for???" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Misty Brock, 39, Funiak Springs, Florida Florida woman arrested for meth after claiming children are missing A woman from DeFuniak Springs who initially claimed her two children had been kidnapped was arrested for possession of methamphetamine and false 911 calls after her children were found safe and sound, according to a press release. Misty Michelle Brock, 39, was charged with false 911 calls, resisting an officer without violence and making a false report to law enforcement by the Jackson County Sheriff's Office. She was additionally charged with possession of paraphernalia and possession of methamphetamine with intent to sell. According to JCSO, Brock called dispatch reporting that her two children, ages two and five, had gone missing from her vehicle at the Chevron Station on Highway 231 and that she believed they were in a semi-truck that had just departed the area. The call triggered a response from JSCO, along with FHP, Cottondale Police, the Bay County Sheriff's Office and Houston County Sheriff's Office as a BOLO (Be on the Lookout) was issued for the semi-truck. During the course of the investigation, deputies noted that Brock displayed several signs that she was under the influence of an illegal substance. A review of security footage showed no children in Brock's car. Brock was allegedly unable to provide consistent information about her travel itinerary or even what her children were wearing. A JCSO Investigator traveled to the children's father's home, where they were located and determined to have been all day. Contact had also been made with Brock's mother who provided the same information. When deputies tried to relay this information to Brock she stated those children were impostors, according to the press release. During the investigation, several items of paraphernalia were allegedly found in Brock's purse, along with five grams of high grade methamphetamine. As she was being transported to the jail, Brock was reportedly claiming to see her children under vehicles. Tech Support Pits From: Helga Re: MS Office or Libre Office Dear Webby What is the difference between MS Office and Open Office? I have to get one of them. Which one do you recommend? Helga Dear Helga The biggest diffeernce that I can see is that you can install Open Office on a shirt pocket USB hard drive and run it from there when you plug it into any computer's USB port. And unlike Microsoft Office, it is free. With MS Office you would need to buy a license and pay annual license fees for each machine, with the free Open Office you got everything, from settings and preferences to your documents, spreadsheets and pictures on your portable hard drive or thumb drive, and basically just "borrow" the keybaord and the printer and hardware of the computer that you plug it into. The included features are about the same. Whichever one you learn, that's the one you will be good at, and that one will be your preferred choice. There is no single feature that I an think of that is available in only one of them, except maybe the ability to create PDF files. You can do that with Libre Office, but if you have MS Office, you need to shell out another $450 to get Adobe Acrobat Professional to do the same. Microsoft was going to include it, but backed off at the last minute, when Adobe threatened to sue. Seems there was more copying than inspiration involved. Since you don't have either one yet, and would not have to un-learn and trade the peculiarities of one of them for those of the other, I would recommend Libre Office. You can download it free at https://www.libreoffice.org/ Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world." But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
At a nursing home in Miami, Florida, a group of Senior Citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another. "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. "My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,".... another went on. "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. Then there was a short moment of silence. "Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank God we can all still drive." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Energy When Drying Clothes It's best to keep your dryer hot by running one load after another. It will help maintain your dryer's heat. It consumes the most energy while it is heating up. Clean the lint dryer between every use and don't over dry clothing. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | American vacations of the 1900's in color. |
___________________________________________________ A woman with 14 children, ranging in age from one to fourteen, went to court to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of desertion. "When did he leave you?" the judge asked. "Thirteen years ago," the tired mother replied. The judge was confused. "If he left thirteen years ago, where did all these children come from?" "Well," said the woman, "he kept coming back to say he was sorry." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up. "Have you ever been x-rayed?", asked the doctor. "Nope," she replied, "But ah've been ultra-violated a few times." ____________________________________________________ | Today, June 25 in 0841 Charles the Bald and Louis the German defeated Lothar at Fontenay. 1080 At Brixen, a council of bishops declared Pope Gregory to be deposed and Archbishop Guibert as antipope Clement III. 1580 The Book of Concord was first published. The book is a collection of doctrinal standards of the Lutheran Church. 1658 Aurangzeb proclaimed himself emperor of the Moghuls in India. 1767 Mexican Indians rioted as Jesuit priests were ordered home. 1864 Union troops surrounding Petersburg, VA, began building a mine tunnel underneath the Confederate lines. 1867 Lucien B. Smith patented the first barbed wire. 1868 The U.S. Congress enacted legislation granting an eight-hour day to workers employed by the Federal government. 1870 In Spain, Queen Isabella abdicated in favor of Alfonso XII. 1876 Lt. Col. Custer and the 210 men of U.S. 7th Cavalry were killed by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians at Little Big Horn in Montana. The event is known as "Custer's Last Stand." 1876 In Philadelphia, PA, Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for Sir William Thomson (Baron Kelvin) and Emperor Pedro II of Brazil at the Centennial Exhibition. 1906 Pittsburgh millionaire Harry Kendall Thaw, the son of coal and railroad baron William Thaw, shot and killed Stanford White. White, a prominent architect, had a tryst with Florence Evelyn Nesbit before she married Thaw. The shooting took place at the premeire of Mamzelle Champagne in New York. 1910 The U.S. Congress authorized the use of postal savings stamps. 1917 The first American fighting troops landed in France. 1920 The Greeks took 8,000 Turkish prisoners in Smyrna. 1921 Samuel Gompers was elected head of the AFL for the 40th time. 1938 Gaelic scholar Douglas Hyde was inaugurated as the first president of the Irish Republic. 1941 Finland declared war on the Soviet Union after securing help from Germany. 1946 Ho Chi Minh traveled to France for talks on Vietnamese independence. 1948 The Soviet Union tightened its blockade of Berlin by intercepting river barges heading for the city. 1950 North Korea invaded South Korea initiating the Korean War. 1951 In New York, the first regular commercial color TV transmissions were presented on CBS using the FCC-approved CBS Color System. The public did not own color TV's at the time. 1959 The Cuban government seized 2.35 million acres under a new agrarian reform law. 1959 Eamon De Valera became president of Ireland at the age of 76. 1962 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the use of unofficial non- denominational prayer in public schools was unconstitutional. 1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson ordered 200 naval personnel to Mississippi to assist in finding three missing civil rights workers. 1970 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission handed down a ruling (35 FR 7732), making it illegal for radio stations to put telephone calls on the air without the permission of the person being called. 1973 Erskine Childers Jr. became president of Ireland after the retirement of Eamon De Valera. 1973 White House Counsel John Dean admitted that U.S. President Nixon took part in the Watergate cover-up. 1975 Mozambique became independent. Samora Machel was sworn in as president after 477 years of Portuguese rule. 1981 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that male-only draft registration was constitutional. 1986 The U.S. Congress approved $100 million in aid to the Contras fighting in Nicaragua. 1987 Austrian President Kurt Waldheim visited Pope John Paul II at the Vatican. The meeting was controversial due to allegations that Waldheim had hidden his Nazi past. 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the right of an individual, whose wishes are clearly made, to refuse life-sustaining medical treatment. "The right to die" decision was made in the Curzan vs. Missouri case. 1991 The last Soviet troops left Czechoslovakia 23 years after the Warsaw Pact invasion. 1991 The Yugoslav republics of Slovenia and Croatia declared their independence from Yugoslavia. 1993 Kim Campbell took office as Canada's first woman prime minister. She assumed power upon the resignation of Brian Mulroney. 1997 The Russian space station Mir was hit by an unmanned cargo vessel. Much of the power supply was knocked out and the station's Spektr module was severely damaged. 1997 U.S. air pollution standards were significantly tightened by U.S. President Clinton. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected the line-item veto thereby striking down presidential power to cancel specific items in tax and spending legislation. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that those infected with HIV are protected by the Americans With Disabilities Act. 1998 Microsoft's "Windows 98" was released to the public. 1999 Germany's parliament approved a national Holocaust memorial to be built in Berlin. 2000 U.S. and British researchers announced that they had completed a rough draft of a map of the genetic makeup of human beings. The project was 10 years old at the time of the announcement. 2000 A Florida judge approved a class-action lawsuit to be filed against America Online (AOL) on behalf of hourly subscribers who were forced to view "pop-up" advertisements. 2018 Do smiled. |
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