Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, Sept 29 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!   __________________________________________________ Q The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth. --- Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964) In heaven all the interesting people are missing. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) In heaven all the interesting people are missing. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award stolen Bellevue patrol car lead police on 110 mph chase through King County, driver arrested by K9 ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ History On This Day, Sept 29, in 1984, Elizabeth Taylor was voted to be the world's most beautiful woman in a Louis Harris poll. Taylor was at the time in the Betty Ford Clinic overcoming a weight problem. ____________________________________________________ Two older women, Judi and Monika, who were rivals in a social circle met at a party. "My dear," said Monika, "Are those real pearls?" "They are," replied Judi. "Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them," smiled Lady Monika. Judi responded "Yes, but for that you would need real teeth." __________________________________________________________ Q. How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? A. Guilt gifts are nicer. __________________________________________________   Pheasant In The rain. Lethbridge,AB. Photo Lilian C Lilly? __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ "You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to the ninety-year-old man after the examination. "I know it," said the old gentleman. "I've really got only one complaint: My sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?" The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your what?" he gasped. "My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can." "Lower it!" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year-old gentleman was saying. "Just what do you consider 'high'?" "These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can." ___________________________________________________ A young man volunteered to babysit one night so his mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs but the young man kept sending him back. At 9pm, the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No". Just then a little head appeared over the bannister and a voice shouted, "I'm here Mom but he won't let me go home." __________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________  Dearwebby's Tech Support Pits From: Minnie Re: Mystery Invoice Dear Webbby, I keep getting mystery invoices that mention the amount that they want, but neither the company involved or the items or services supposedly purchased. What do you do with them? Minnie  Dear Minnie I don't do anything with them. Maiwasher recognizes that they are scam and marks them for deleting. When I hit F6, (process) they get sent to hell. You can get it at Mailwasher Have Fun! Dearwebby ________________________________________________ Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing. The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally Sandra gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Sandra said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn like a demented moron for you." ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ Clinton's famous chocolate retriever, Buddy, was accidentally killed after being struck by a car It was an honest mistake Hillary thought Bill would be behind him when she stomped on the gas. ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock  Dorion Rowe, 22, Belleview, Washington, USA  stolen Bellevue patrol car lead police on 110 mph chase through King County, arrested by K9  TUKWILA, Wash. - Authorities say a man attacked officers, stole a patrol car, and led police on a chase through King County before finally being arrested. According to charging documents, suspect Dorion Rowe was burglarizing a dealership in Bellevue around 4:18 a.m. when Bellevue Police officers went to stop him. Rowe attacked one of the officers, choking her out before the other officer helped her break free, documents say. Rowe broke into a Dodge Durango displayed at the dealership and sped off down 116th Ave SE into downtown Bellevue. Police pursued him to the intersection of NE Eighth Ave and 124th Ave NE, where Rowe crashed into a car. Charging docs say Rowe got out of the car and surrendered, saying, "Im done." Officers moved to arrest him, and he then ran and stole the Bellevue Police patrol car. Several law enforcement agencies were called to pursue as Rowe sped south through King County going as fast as 110 mph, according to documents, leading police down Tukwila International Blvd. Officers used a spike strip to blow out Rowes tires, then disabled the patrol car with a PIT maneuver. Rowe then got out of the car and ran from officers, before finally being taken down by a K9 and arrested. He was treated at the hospital before being booked into jail. Rowewho this year was convicted for fourth-degree assault and faces pending charges of domestic violence and assaultnow faces felony charges with first-degree burglary, two counts of vehicle theft, third-degree assault, two counts of attempting to elude police and hit-and-run. He is currently being held on $250,000 bail. _____________________________________________________ Two California gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino. Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the other. Connie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she finally saw Lori coming toward her, carrying this huge sack of coins. "Hey, Connie," said Lori, "how'd you do?" "Not very good," came the reply. "I've been waiting here for hours." Lori said, "You should have been with me...did I ever find a good machine! It's way in the back. Come! I'll show it to you...you can't lose! Ever time you put a dollar in, you win four quarters!" __________________________________________________ Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning, at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back. "Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to tell you that I don't HAVE a dog." _________________________________________________ History On Sept 29, In 1789, A regular army was established by the U.S. War Department with several hundred men. 1829, The first public appearance by London's re-organized police force was met with jeers from political opponents. The force became known as Scotland Yard. 1930, Lowell Thomas made his debut on CBS Radio. He was in the radio business for the next 46 years. 1930, Bing Crosby and Dixie Lee were married. 1940, The radio quiz show "Double or Nothing" debuted on the Mutual Radio Network. 1943, U.S. Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower and Italian Marchal Pietro Badoglio signed an armistice aboard the British ship Nelson. 1946, "The Adventures of Sam Spade" debuted on CBS Radio. 1962, U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi National guard in response to city officials defying federal court orders. The orders had been to enroll James Meredith at the University of Mississippi. 1967, The International Monetary Fund reformed monetary systems around the world. 1977, Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a heavyweight title boxing match. About 70 million people watched Muhammad Ali defeat Ernie Shavers on NBC-TV. 1982, In Chicago, IL, seven people died after taking capsules of Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. 264,000 bottles were recalled. 1983, The War Powers Act was used for the first time by the U.S. Congress when they authorized President Reagan to keep U.S. Marines in Lebanon for 18 more months. 1983, "A Chorus Line" with performance number 3,389 became the longest running show on Broadway. 1984, Irish officials announced that they had intercepted the Marita Anne carrying seven tons of U.S.-purchased weapons. The weapons were intended for the Irish Republican Army. 1984, Elizabeth Taylor was voted to be the world's most beautiful woman in a Louis Harris poll. Taylor was at the time in the Betty Ford Clinic overcoming a weight problem. 1988, The space shuttle Discovery took off from Cape Canaveral in Florida. It was the first manned space flight since the Challenger disaster. 1990, "Millie's Book" by First Lady Barbara Bush was the best- selling non-fiction book in the U.S. 1992, Magic Johnson announced that he was returning to professional basketball. The comeback ended the following November. 1992, Brazilian lawmakers overwhelmingly voted to impeach President Fernando Collor de Mello. 1993, Bosnia's parliament voted overwhelmingly to reject an international peace plan unless Bosnian Serbs returned land that had been taken by force. 1994, The U.S. House voted to end the practice of lobbyist buying meals and entertainment for members of Congress. 1998, Hasbro announced plans to introduce an action figure of retired U.S. General Colin Powell. 2008, The Dow Industrial Average lost 777 points. It was the largest one-day decline to date. The drop came after the U.S. House of Representatives had voted down a $700 billion bank bailout plan. 2010, In China, Canton Tower became operational. 2023, ! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!