Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, May 21 Stat holiday here in Canada, first Monday after my birthday. Maybe they are afraid otherwise I would forget it? Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Cape Coral woman arrested for trying to set gas station on fire Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, May 21 in 1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20.  More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. --- Oscar Wilde ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Trisha is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trisha," she gently chided, "This is not the Internet." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   No dust here! _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know." "I know," said the child, "but the store is full of mothers." _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Gloria Burton, Cape Coral, Florida  Cape Coral woman arrested for trying to set gas station on fire  The state fire marshal arrested a Cape Coral woman this week for trying to burn down a Circle K gas station. Authorities said Gloria Burton's unknown male accomplice is still on the loose. Investigators said surveillance video from the store clearly shows Burton and an unknown man working together to pour gasoline all over one of the pumps, then light it on fire and drive away. A few hours after Burton left the gas station, the state fire marshal arrested her at Duffy's bar, where she was working as a bartender. Witnesses to the fire said she was wearing her uniform when she carried out the crime. Surveillance tapes show Burton, wearing her Duffy's uniform, purchasing $12 of gas at 2 a.m. Thursday, before walking outside, pouring the gas onto the ground near the pump and setting it ablaze. Witnesses said Burton seemed hyper while purchasing gas. Investigators found Burton when a Duffy's general manager identified her in pictures from the surveillance tapes. Detectives arrested Burton when she arrived for a shift at Duffy's. Burton is charged with felony arson and the state fire marshal is still looking for the man that was with her. Duffy's Bar and Grille was unreachable for comment about the status of Burton's current employment status with them. 
 Tech Support Pits From: Calvin P. Re: NASA / Space news  Dear Webby I need some high tech content for my web site and my newsletters. Do you know where I can get the NASA and SpaceX news? Calvin P  Dear Calvin Just go to https://www.space.com/ You can even subscribe to their newsletter. You might get overloaded with info, if you do that, but you can always UNsubscribe. Have FUN DearWebby    
 One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, " What did you ask me?" She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?" Without hesitation, she said, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce." 
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 One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife: "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." 
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 For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions: "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being - a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, she responded, "I think its a great idea! Sure I can help you choose which puppy to buy!" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Steam Iron to Remove Stickers How many of you moms out there have spent entirely too much time trying to remove stickers that have been stuck on every surface in the entire house by your ornery toddler? Hold onto your bonnets, ladies! You ready? Use the steam from your iron to remove any type of sticky sticker off any surface! Fill your iron chuck full of water and turn the heat and steam on High. Let it get good and hot, then hold your iron upright or over your sticker nightmare and start pressing that steam button as fast as you can. In seconds, the entire sticker can be lifted off with absolutely NO residue left on the surface. May all of you sticker-removing mommies sleep better tonight knowing that at least one toddler mess can be cleaned up with ease. By April from Albany, GA   Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________  During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course at university. "Oh, great," I said, "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family." "No, no," he replied. "I don't take abnormal psychology until next semester."  
How Bermuda's Chronic Water Shortage Shaped The Islands' Iconic White Roof
 ___________________________________________________ Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called the hereafter. She said to him, I think about it many times a day. Oh, really? said the minister. That is very wise. It's not a matter of wisdom, she replied. It's when I walk into a room or open a closet, I ask myself, 'What am I here after?' ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a nurse over there to read the picket signs. ____________________________________________________ 
 Today, May 21 in 0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor. 1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London. Edward IV took the throne. 1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, Switzerland. 1542 Hernando de Soto died along the Mississippi River while searching for gold. 1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain Bartholomew Gosnold. 1790 Paris was divided into 48 zones. 1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City. They were originally known as "swift walkers." 1832 In the U.S., the Democratic Party held its first national convention. 1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony. 1856 Lawrence, Kansas was captured by pro-slavery forces. 1863 The siege of the Confederate Port Hudson, LA, began. 1891 Peter Jackson and Jim Corbett fought for 61 rounds only to end in a draw. 1904 Fdration Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) was founded. (That is real Football, called Soccer in America.) 1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the demountable tire- carrying rim. 1922 The cartoon, "On the Road to Moscow," by Rollin Kirby won a Pulitzer Prize. It was the first cartoon awarded the Pulitzer. 1924 Fourteen-year-old Bobby Franks was murdered in a "thrill killing" committed by Nathan Leopold Jr. and Richard Loeb. The killers were students at the University of Chicago. 1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20. 1929 The first automatic electric stock quotation board was used by Sutro and Company of New York City. 1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to fingerprint all of its citizens. 1947 Joe DiMaggio and five of his New York Yankee teammates were fined $100 because they had not fulfilled contract requirements to do promotional duties for the team. 1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in the Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll. 1961 Governor Patterson declared martial law in Montgomery, AL. 1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 men aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub were later found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest of the Azores. 1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances at Ohio State University. 1980 The movie "The Empire Strikes Back" was released. 1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and fighting began. 1991 In Madras, India, the former prime minister, Rajiv Gandhi was killed by a bouquet of flowers that contained a bomb. 1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR, killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his parents before the rampage. 1998 Microsoft and Sega announced that they are collaborating on a home video game system. 1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by an butyric acid-attacker. 2018 Do smiled. 
 
 

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