Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, November 13 Thank you, Ginger!!! Thank you, Kurt ! | 1411If you like my work,
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, November 13, in 1805. Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a recipe and called it the "Frankfurter", because "no prophet is listened to in his own town" and "Paris" was already in use for condoms. In Frankfurt his sausages were marketed as "Wieners". ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award goes to Pasadena nutcase terrorizing neighbors with pick-axe _____________________________________________________ Q The secret to success in life is known only to those who have not succeeded. --- John Churton Collins Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. --- Dave Barry (1947 - ) ____________________________________________________ A local Pastor joined a community Service Club, and the members thought they would have some fun with him. Under his name badge they printed, "Hog Caller" as his occupation. Everyone made a big fanfare as the badge was presented. The Pastor responded by saying, " I usually am called the 'Shepherd', but I am sure you know your people better than I do." ____________________________________________________ An elderly Jewish woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "Oy, don't I know it," she said. "My husband never buys me anything! It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Not a glamor shot, just a ring camera clip, but the cops recognized her. They arrested her after half an hour to hide their dogs, so she would not traumatize the poor dogs. Beverly Baker, 65, Pasadena, California, USA Pasadena family terrorized by a pickaxe-wielding nut A Pasadena man whose home was attacked by a pick-axe- wielding neighbor while his child and mother-in-law were inside said the family has been left so traumatized they may move out. Beverly Baker, 65, was caught on camera wielding the weapon on Monday afternoon in a horrifying attack, which police believe was random, and the result of a mental health breakdown. Baker was filmed by Arman Tchoukadrian's Ring camera approaching the home then smashing through its windows before walking away and returning again to smash more. Tchoukadrian's mother-in-law was in the home with his baby daughter, who was sleeping in a bassinet near one of the windows. The chiropractor, said the baby would have been seriously injured if the baby's grandmother hadn't saved her. ___________________________________________________ Adopted ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher, Miss Figpot, decided to stop by Little Johnny's house on her way home. She wanted to discuss Johnny's poor performance directly with his parents. When she rang the door bell, Little Johnny answered. "Hello Johnny, I'd like to talk to your mother or father," she said. "Sorry, but they ain't here." He replied. "Johnny!" She said, "what is it with your grammar?" "Haven't got a clue," Johnny replied, "but dad sure was mad that they had to go bail her out again!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ A clean house is a sign of a broken computer. ____________________________________________________ Montana, Helena A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing. Apparently steel toe work boots do count. ================================================= DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:GDB Re: Naughty Potato Hi Webby Would you believe that my mothers email program awarded the Humor Letter THREE red peppers for "naughty language" ? We had a hoot going through it with a fine tooth comb trying to find what was naughty in it and the closest we came was this: == "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. == So, Dear Webby, better be careful about this "cruelty to potatoes" stuff. Otherwise PETA will go after you and protest in front of your office! They had a topless PETA protest in Tucson last week and it caused quite a big car pile-up. GDB Dear GDB! How many naughty potatoes would I have to smack to get topless protesters to come here ? All I see outside my office window are deer. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio - a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!" _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, November 13, in 1775. During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. 1789. Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." 1805. Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a recipe and called it the "Frankfurter", because "no prophet is listened to in his own town" and "Paris" was already in use for condoms. In Frankfurt his sausages were marketed as "Wieners". 1927. The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access between New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 1933. In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America took place. 1940. The Walt Disney movie "Fantasia" had its world premiere at New York's Broadway Theater. 1942. Preparing for WWII U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 1956. The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial segregation on public buses. 1971. The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to orbit another planet, Mars. 1977. The comic strip "Li'l Abner" by Al Capp appeared in newspapers for the last time. 1982. The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 1984. A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 1986. U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that they had been sent to improve relations. 1991. Roger Clemens won his third Cy Young Award for the American League. 1994. Sweden voted to join the European Union. 1997. Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S. citizens. 1998. Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for the North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S. President Bill Clinton. 2001. U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II that a president had taken such action. 2006. A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for $1.65 billion in Google stock. 2009. NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 2022 Do smiled.
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