Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, March 3 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Charges Against Parkland Pediatrician Mizrachy moved to federal justice ___________________________________________________ Today, March 3 in 1945 Near the end of World War II, Finland, which had asked Germany to help them against Russian invasion in 1940, changed sides and declared war on the Axis, since it had become obvious that the Allies were going to win, and had a much better aid package. ____________________________________________________ Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. --- Dave Barry (1947 - ) ____________________________________________________ A local Pastor joined a community Service Club, and the members thought they would have some fun with him. Under his name badge they printed, "Hog Caller" as his occupation. Everyone made a big fanfare as the badge was presented. The Pastor responded by saying, " I usually am called the "Shepherd'... but I am sure you know your people better than I do." ____________________________________________________ An elderly Jewish woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "Oy, don't I know it," she said. "My husband never buys me anything! It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher, Miss Figpot, decided to stop by Little Johnny's house on her way home. She wanted to discuss Johnny's poor performance directly with his parents. When she rang the door bell, Little Johnny answered. "Hello Johnny, I'd like to talk to your mother or father," she said. "Sorry, but they ain't here." He replied. "Johnny!" She said, "what is it with your grammar?" "Haven't got a clue," Johnny replied, "but dad sure was mad that they had to go bail her out again!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Mizrachy, 49, Parkland, Florida, USA Charges Against Parkland Pediatrician Mizrachy moved to federal justice Just weeks after Parkland Pediatrician Michael Mizrachy got court permission to see his patients online despite being jailed on multiple counts of child pornography possession and solicitation, the United States Department of Justice has filed charges. This is the verbatim media advisory issued by the DOJ: Today, a federal magistrate judge in Ft. Lauderdale ordered South Florida pediatrician Michael Mizrachy, 49, of Parkland, Florida, held without bond pending trial on a federal charge of possession of child pornography. According to the federal criminal complaint affidavit, in June 2020, the South Florida Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force received a CyberTip from the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children about files depicting child pornography being uploaded to an e-mail account, including a video of a prepubescent child being sexually abused. An investigation led law enforcement to Mizrachy, who worked as a pediatrician in Broward County, Florida. The affidavit alleges that during execution of a search warrant at Mizrachys home in Parkland, Florida, law enforcement officers obtained evidence that Mizrachy used an instant messenger application to obtain child pornography and communicate with minors about sex. During a hearing today in Ft. Lauderdale, U.S. Magistrate Judge Alicia O. Valle ordered pre-trial detention for Mizrachy, meaning he will remain in custody pending his federal trial. If convicted on the federal charge, Mizrachy faces up to 20 years in prison. Mizrachy also faces a pending state criminal case in connection with the alleged conduct. This case was brought as part of Project Safe Childhood (PSC), a nationwide initiative launched in May 2006 by the Department of Justice to combat the growing epidemic of child sexual exploitation and abuse. Led by United States Attorneys Offices and the Criminal Divisions Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section, Project Safe Childhood marshals federal, state, and local resources to locate, apprehend and prosecute individuals, who sexually exploit children, and to identify and rescue victims. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:GDB Re: Naughty Potato Hi Webby Would you believe that my mothers email program awarded the Humor Letter THREE red peppers for "naughty language" ? We had a hoot going through it with a fine tooth comb trying to find what was naughty in it and the closest we came was this: == "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. == So, Dear Webby, better be careful about this "cruelty to potatoes" stuff. Otherwise PETA will go after you and protest in front of your office! They had a topless PETA protest in Tucson last week and it caused quite a big car pile-up. GDB Dear GDB How many naughty potatoes would I have to smack to get topless protesters to come here ? All I see outside my office window are deer. Have FUN! DearWebby A clean house is a sign of a broken computer. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Montana, Helena A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing. Apparently steel toe work boots do count. ____________________________________________ Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio - a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!" ____________________________________________ No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed. ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, March 3 in 1812 The U.S. Congress passed the first foreign aid bill. 1817 The first commercial steamboat route from Louisville to New Orleans was opened. 1845 An Act of Congress established uniform postal rates throughout the nation. The act went into effect on July 1, 1845. 1849 The Gold Coinage Act was passed by the U.S. Congress. It allowed the minting of gold coins. 1851 The U.S. Congress authorized the 3-cent piece. It was the smallest U.S. silver coin. 1857 Britain and France declared war on China. 1863 Free city delivery of mail was authorized by the U.S. Postal Service. 1878 Russia and the Ottomans signed the treaty of San Stenafano. The treaty granted independence to Romania, Serbia, Montenegro, and the autonomy of Bulgaria. 1900 Striking miners in Germany returned to work. 1903 In St. Louis, MO, Barney Gilmore was arrested for spitting. 1903 The U.S. imposed a $2 head tax on immigrants. 1904 Wilhelm II of Germany made the first recording of a political document with Thomas Edison's cylinder. 1905 The Russian Czar agreed to create an elected assembly. 1906 A Frenchman tried the first flight in an airplane with tires. 1908 The U.S. government declared open war on on U.S. anarchists. 1909 Aviators Herring, Curtiss and Bishop announced that airplanes would be made commercially in the U.S. 1910 In New York, Robert Forest founded the National Housing Association to fight deteriorating urban living conditions. 1910 Nicaraguan rebels admitted defeat in open war and resorted to guerrilla tactics in the hope of U.S. intervention. 1918 The Treaty of Brest Litovsky was signed by Germany, Austria and Russia. The treaty ended Russia's participation in World War I. 1939 In Bombay, Ghandi began a fast to protest the state's autocratic rule. 1941 Moscow denounced the Axis rule in Bulgaria. 1945 Near the end of World War II, Finland, which had asked germany to help them against Russian invasion in 1940, changed sides and declared war on the Axis, since it had become obvious that the Allies were going to win, and had a much better aid package. 1952 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld New York's Feinberg Law that banned Communist teachers in the U.S. 1956 Morocco gained its independence. 1969 Apollo 9 was launched by NASA to test a lunar module. 1969 Sirhan Sirhan testified in a Los Angeles court that he killed Robert Kennedy. 1972 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecrafte was launched. 1973 Japan disclosed its first defense plan since World War II. 1974 About 350 people died when a Turkish Airlines DC-10 crashed just after takeoff from Orly Airport in Paris. 1978 The remains of Charles Chaplin were stolen from his grave in Cosier-sur-Vevey, Switzerland. The body was recovered 11 weeks later near Lake Geneva. 1985 Women Against Pornography awarded its Pig Award to Huggies Diapers. The activists claimed that the TV ads for diapers had "crossed the line between eye-catching and porn." 1987 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a package of $30 million in non-lethal aid for the Nicaraguan Contras. 1991 25 people were killed when a United Airlines Boeing 737- 200 crashed while on approach to the Colorado Springs airport. 1991 Rodney King was severely beaten by Los Angeles police officers. The scene was captured on amateur video. 1994 The Mexican government reached a peace agreement with the Chiapas rebels. 1995 A U.N. peacekeeping mission in Somalia ended. Several gunmen were killed by U.S. Marines in Mogadishu while overseeing the pull out of peacekeepers. 1999 In Egypt, 19 people were killed when a bus plunged into a Nile canal. 2019 An unmanned demonstration flight of the SpaceX Dragon spacecraft successfully docked with the Internation Space Station. 2021 Do smiled. |
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