Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 15

1411
Ophelia DingbatterIf you like my work,
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or two, if you can afford it!
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 15, in 2001, Wikipedia was launched. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Tucson realtor was attacked. Escaped abduction. Suspect was caught 2 months later in Texas _____________________________________________________ Q Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at. --- Carlos A. Urbizo As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible He who hesitates is a damned fool. -- Mae West ____________________________________________________ Yesterday's picture: >From Arthur: I believe the reindeer is 'Star' and the man is 'Albert Whitehead' on 4th Street in Anchorage Alaska. Great memories! __________________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a attractive young woman asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk." That's fine," replied the woman. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old woman standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Donasti Davonsiea, 37, Tucson, Arizona, USA Tucson realtor was attacked. Escaped abduction. Suspect was caught 2 months later in Texas The Tucson Police Department says a man they believe assaulted and attempted to kidnap a pregnant realtor has been caught more than 2 months later in Texas. On Oct. 8, a 911 call was made about a kidnapping that happened near Glenn Street and Mountain Avenue in Tucson. Officers arrived and found a woman who had been badly hurt. "Officers learned that the adult female victim, a realtor, was showing a house to a prospective buyer. While showing the house, the adult male suspect assaulted her with a weapon and attempted to physically restrain her. A struggle ensued and the victim was able to escape from the suspect and call 9-1-1," police detailed. Through an investigation, detectives named 37-year-old Donasti Davonsiea, also known as Juan Nunley Jr., as the suspect. An arrest warrant was issued, and he was found in El Paso, Texas nearly two months later the exact date wasn't detailed. "Detectives learned that the victim was pregnant at the time of the assault. Due to the injuries she sustained during the assault, she miscarried three days after the attack. She has since been released from the hospital and is recovering with family," police said. He was described as 5 feet and 9 inches and 150 pounds. He's bald and has hazel eyes. Davonsiea has several tattoos on his arms, chest and neck. "Donasti should be considered armed and dangerous do not approach him if he is located. The Tucson Police Department is actively searching for Donasti Davonsiea," the department previously said. Davonsiea will be extradited back to Arizona. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Lydia Here's one for you-- A preacher said to the farmer,"Do you belong to the Christian family ?" "No", he said, " they live two farms down ". "No,no, I mean are you lost ?" "No, I've been here thirty years." "I mean are you ready for Judgement Day?" "When is it ?" "It could be today or tomorrow ". "Well, when you find out for sure when it is , you let me know. My wife will probably want to go both days !" Lydia ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Red Leg Honey Creeper _______________________________________________ An IRS man asks a farmer, "How much is your prize bull worth?" The farmer says, "For tax purposes, or has he been hit by a train?" ____________________________________________________ A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what "you've" been doing." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Tanya RE: Need easy folder for pix Dear Webby I need an easy folder for my pictures, that does not require a bunch of jogging down through half the computer. I just need to GET pictures from my picture folder. Tanya Dear Tanya There is an even easier method you can use! Make a desktop shortcut to your pictures folder! Right-click the desktop NEW Shortcut and step through that once. Then you have a shortcut right to your existing pictures folder, and can easily and quickly retrieve pictures from there, or drag new ones to there. You can even right-click that new icon and change the icon picture! Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A quarrel broke out between a man and a woman while traveling for dinner at a restaurant. They quarreled almost all the way and just before they arrived, the wife said to the husband: "You are very lucky to have me, no other normal woman will want you!". The frustrated husband decided to prove to his wife that she was wrong and to find a women who would be interested in him already during dinner. The hostess who led them to the table smiled at the husband endlessly, laughed at his jokes and even offered to take his coat, so of course as soon as she left he turned to his wife with a triumphant look on his face. "Don't get too excited, it's just her job and she's married too." "How do you know?" "Because I saw a ring on her finger." A short time later the husband had to go to the bathroom, and on his way back he collided with the chair of a woman sitting alone at a nearby table. He apologized, ordered her a drink at his expense, talked to her for a few moments and sat down with his wife again. "Just so you know, she invited me to sit down for a drink with her!" "Don't get too excited, she's probably half blind." "How do you know?" "Because I saw her enter the restaurant with a walking stick." After a few minutes a waitress went to the table and as she took the order from the couple it was obvious that she was staring at her husband and flirting with him. "Here! You see?!" He said to his wife after the waitress left, "There are normal women who want me!" "Don't be an idiot, she has covid." "How do you know?" "Because if she's interested in you then she has no sense of taste!" ____________________________________________________ Today, January 15 in 1559, England's Queen Elizabeth I (Elizabeth Tudor) was crowned in Westminster Abbey. 1624, Many riots occurred in Mexico when it was announced that all churches were to be closed. 1777, The people of New Connecticut (now the state of Vermont) declared their independence. 1863, "The Boston Morning Journal" became the first paper in the U.S. to be published on wood pulp paper. 1870, A cartoon by Thomas Nast titled "A Live Jackass Kicking a Dead Lion" appeared in "Harper's Weekly." The cartoon used the donkey to symbolize the Democratic Party for the first time. 1892, "Triangle" magazine in Springfield, MA, published the rules for a brand new game. The original rules involved attaching a peach baskets to a suspended board. It is now known as basketball. 1899, Edwin Markham's poem, "The Man With a Hoe," was published for the first time. 1906, Willie Hoppe won the billiard championship of the world in Paris, France. 1913, The first telephone line between Berlin and New York was inaugurated. 1936, The first, all glass, windowless building was completed in Toledo, OH. The building was the new home of the Owens-Illinois Glass Company Laboratory. 1943, The Pentagon was dedicated as the world's largest office building just outside Washington, DC, in Arlington, VA. The structure covers 34 acres of land and has 17 miles of corridors. 1945, CBS Radio debuted "House Party". The show was on the air for 22 years. 1953, Harry S Truman became the first U.S. President to use radio and television to give his farewell as he left office. 1955, The first solar-heated, radiation-cooled house was built by Raymond Bliss in Tucson, AZ. 1967, The first National Football League Super Bowl was played. The Green Bay Packers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs of the American Football League. The final score was 35-10. 1973, U.S. President Nixon announced the suspension of all U.S. offensive action in North Vietnam. He cited progress in peace negotiations as the reason. 1974, "Happy Days" premiered on ABC-TV. 1986, President Reagan signed legislation making Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday a national holiday to be celebrated on the third Monday of January. 1987, Paramount Home Video reported that it would place a commercial at the front of one of its video releases for the first time. It was a 30-second Diet Pepsi ad at the beginning of "Top Gun." 2001, Wikipedia was launched. 2003, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Congress had permission to repeatedly extend copyright protection. 2006, NASA's Stardust space probe mission was completed when it's sample return capsule returned to Earth with comet dust from comet Wild 2. 2022 Do smiled.
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