Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, May 15 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Az teacher arrested for grooming, having sex multiple times with underage student  ___________________________________________________ Today, May 15 in 1957 Britain dropped its first hydrogen bomb on Christmas Island in the Pacific Ocean. ____________________________________________________ Socialist Agenda: Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. --- Quentin Crisp ____________________________________________________ The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, 'She'll be 21 in November.' Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an 80-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.. About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.. 'How's the new wife?', asked the banker. Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.' The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?' 'She's pregnant too.' ____________________________________________________ A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.He says, "What on earth is that all about?" The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm." "Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?" The farmer replied, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other." ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ How does Ruth like being pregnant?" Danny asked his friend Ryan. "Oh, she's not pregnant," Ryan replied, "she's expecting." "What's the difference?" Danny pressed. "Well", Ryan explained, "When I come home from work, she's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her feet . . ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Justin Walters, 29, Ahwatukee, Arizona, USA  Az teacher arrested for grooming, having sex multiple times with underage student  A teacher at Desert Garden Montessori School in Ahwatukee has been arrested after he allegedly had a long-term sexual relationship with an underage student, officials say. U.S. Marshals say Justin Walters was arrested on May 12 and faces 10 counts of sexual contact with a minor. Walters reportedly was the victim's teacher and groomed her before beginning the sexual abuse, officials say. Phoenix Police detectives had interviewed Walters regarding the allegations, and the former schoolteacher left the state soon after, according to a statement. State investigators discovered that the suspect had flown to Turkey and, with help from federal authorities, determined that he would be flying back to the United States on Wednesday. Walters was arrested at a home in Chicago and was booked into Kane County Jail. He will be extradited back to Maricopa County, officials say. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Barb RE: Next Eclipse  Dear Webby I am pretty sure we will have an eclipse in May, but when? Barb  Dear Barb LUNAR ECLIPSE 2021: BLOOD MOON WILL OCCUR ON 26 MAY When the moon moves into the Earths shadow and light from the sun cannot fall on the moon, it causes a lunar eclipse. This year, the first total lunar eclipse will be on 26 May. A total lunar eclipse is also called the Blood moon. This is because of the reddish tinge that appears on the moon during a lunar eclipse. This phenomenon happens because light from the Earths sunrise and sunset falls on the surface of the moon. As the light waves are stretched out, they appear red in colour, explains Space.com. It will be the first one since 21 January 2019. A lunar eclipse is not dangerous, becuse you are not looking at the sun, just at the moon. The solar eclipses will occur on 10 June and 4 December in 2021. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 The teacher asked little Johnny, "Can you name four shooting stars?" Little Johnny said, "I sure can. Wyatt Earp, Annie Oakley, Buffalo Bill, and John Wayne." 
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 Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position. Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me." ___________________________________________ Two Cajun commercial fishermen, Boudreaux & Thibodeaux, went out in the Gulf fishing. They were gone a couple of months. On their return, they noticed a Taco Bell had been built while they were away. Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says "Sacri Bleu! Look it dat! You run over a fone pole an it takes 9 mons ta get Southern Bell ta put in a new pole an fix da fone. We go fish a bit, an dem Mexicans done come over here an build a whole telifone company!" ____________________________________________ A teacher wrote on the blackboard "Like, I ain't had no fun in months" then she asked the class "How should I correct this sentence?" Little Johnny raised his hand, smirked and replied, "Maybe upgrade your boyfriend?" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, May 15 in 1602 Cape Cod was discovered by Bartholomew Gosnold. 1614 An aristocratic uprising in France ended with the treaty of St.Menehould. 1618 Johannes Kepler discovered his harmonics law. 1702 The War of Spanish Succession began. 1768 Under the Treaty of Versailles, France purchased Corsica from Genoa. 1795 Napoleon entered the Lombardian capital of Milan. 1849 Neapolitan troops entered Palermo, and were in possession of Sicily. 1911 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the dissolution of Standard Oil Company, ruling it was in violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act. 1916 U.S. Marines landed in Santo Domingo to quell civil disorder. 1918 Regular airmail service between New York City, Philadelphia and Washington, DC, began under the direction of the Post Office Department, which later became the U.S. Postal Service. 1926 Roald Amundsen and Lincoln Ellsworth were forced down in Alaska after a four-day flight over an icecap. Ice had begun to form on the dirigible Norge. 1926 The New York Rangers were officially granted a franchise in the NHL. The NHL also announced that Chicago and Detroit would be joining the league in November. 1930 Ellen Church became the first female flight attendant. 1940 Nylon stockings went on sale for the first time in the U.S. 1942 Gasoline rationing began in the U.S. The limit was 3 gallons a week for nonessential vehicles. 1948 Israel was attacked by Transjordan, Egypt, Syria, Iraq and Lebanon only hours after declaring its independence. 1951 AT&T became the first corporation to have one million stockholders. 1957 Britain dropped its first hydrogen bomb on Christmas Island in the Pacific Ocean. 1958 Sputnik III, the first space laboratory, was launched in the Soviet Union. 1963 The last Project Mercury space flight was launched. 1964 The Smothers Brothers, Dick and Tom, gave their first concert in Carnegie Hall in New York City. 1970 U.S. President Nixon appointed America's first two female generals. 1970 Phillip Lafayette Gibbs and James Earl Green, two black students at Jackson State University in Mississippi, were killed when police opened fire during student protests. 1972 Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot by Arthur Bremer in Laurel, MD while campaigning for the U.S. presidency. Wallace was paralyzed by the shot. 1975 The merchant ship U.S. Mayaguez was recaptured from Cambodia's Khmer Rouge. 1980 The first transcontinental balloon crossing of the United States took place. 1983 In Boston,MA, the Madison Hotel was destroyed by implosion. 1988 The Soviet Union began their withdrawal of its 115,000 troops from Afghanistan. Soviet forces had been there for more than eight years. 1990 Vincent Van Gogh's "Portrait of Doctor Gachet" was sold for $82.5 million. The sale set a new world record. 1997 The Space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to deliver urgently needed repair equipment and a fresh American astronaut to Russia's orbiting Mir station. 1999 The Russian parliament was unable a attain enough votes to impeach President Boris Yeltsin. 2014 The National September 11 Memorial Museum was dedicated in New York City. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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