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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 8, in 1973, Secret peace talks between the United States and North Vietnam resumed near Paris, France. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Serial Killer Has 4 More Deaths Stacked on his Murder List of 3, Used Ambush-Style Tactics _____________________________________________________ Q In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small things they show themselves as they are. --- Nicholas Chamfort (1741 - 1794) Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) ____________________________________________________ "What She Says: What She Really Means:" "Was that the baby?" ======= Check the baby & change/walk him "Just reminding you"======= I've asked you a dozen damn times "Do you love me?"======= I want something expensive "How much do you love me?"======= I did something terrible "Be ready in a minute"======= Find a game on TV "Is my butt fat?"======= Tell me I'm beautiful "Do you like this lipstick?"======= Tell me I'm beautiful "Should I get my hair cut?"======= Tell me I'm beautiful "Yes"======= No "Maybe"======= No "Well... we'll see"======= No "Perhaps"======= No "If you think so"======= No "Let's think about it"======= No "Shouldn't we wait?"======= No "Let's not rush things"======= No "No"======= NO !!! NEVER!!! NO WAY !!! "I'm sorry"======= You'll be sorry "Do you forgive me ?"======= You'll be sorry "Well, I was upset"======= You'll be sorry "Well, I was tired"======= You'll be sorry "Well, I had a headache"======= You'll be sorry "Do what you want"======= You'll pay for this later, big time "Do what you think best"======= You'll pay for this later, big time __________________________________________________ THE PLAN In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Airmen. And they spoke among themselves, saying "It is a crock of shit and it stinks." And the Airmen went unto their Sergeants and said "It is a pail of dung and we cannot live with the smell." And the Sergeants went unto their Captains, saying "It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." And the Captains went unto their Colonels, saying "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength." And the Colonels went to the Generals, saying unto them "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful." And the Generals went to the President, saying unto him "This new plan will actively promote growth and vigor with very powerful effects." And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good. And the Plan became Policy. And this is how shit happens. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Wesley Brownlee, 43, Stockton, California, USA Serial Killer Has 4 More Deaths Stacked on his Murder List of 3, Used Ambush-Style Tactics California authorities have charged a suspected serial killer with the murders of four more people. The suspect, 43-year-old Wesley Brownlee, is now accused of killing seven people in Stockton and Alameda County after being arrested in October. Authorities say Brownlee was on a mission as he killed his victims in ambush-style shootings. He was out hunting, Stockton Police Chief Stanley McFadden said in a statement, according to ABC News. Alleged Serial Killer Has 4 More Deaths Stacked on Murder List, Used Ambush-Style Tactics - Police California authorities have charged a suspected serial killer with the murders of four more people. The suspect, 43-year-old Wesley Brownlee, is now accused of killing seven people in Stockton and Alameda County after being arrested in October. Authorities say Brownlee was on a mission as he killed his victims in ambush-style shootings. He was out hunting, Stockton Police Chief Stanley McFadden said in a statement, according to ABC News. As officers made contact with him, he was wearing dark clothing and a mask around his neck. He was also armed with a firearm when he was taken into custody. We are sure we stopped another killing. WISN-TV reported that Brownlee is a convicted drug offender and is therefore barred from owning a firearm. The gun he allegedly used in the shootings was an unregistered handgun. California authorities have charged a suspected serial killer with the murders of four more people. The suspect, 43-year-old Wesley Brownlee, is now accused of killing seven people in Stockton and Alameda County after being arrested in October. Authorities say Brownlee was on a mission as he killed his victims in ambush-style shootings. He was out hunting, Stockton Police Chief Stanley McFadden said in a statement, according to ABC News. As officers made contact with him, he was wearing dark clothing and a mask around his neck. He was also armed with a firearm when he was taken into custody. We are sure we stopped another killing. WISN-TV reported that Brownlee is a convicted drug offender and is therefore barred from owning a firearm. The gun he allegedly used in the shootings was an unregistered handgun. Advertisement - story continues below The new charges brought against Brownlee on Tuesday are in relation to the murders of four people: Paul Yaw, 35; Salvador Debudey Jr., 43; Juan Vasquez Serrano, 39; and Mervin Harmon. The three prior victims were Jonathan Rodriguez Hernandez, 21; Juan Cruz, 52; and Lawrence Lopez Sr., 54. The first victim, Serrano, died on April 10, 2021, while the latest victim, Lopez Sr., died on Sept. 27, 2022. Brownlee is facing an additional charge in the attempted murder of 46-year-old Natasha LaTour, who survived getting shot on April 16, 2021. On Oct. 4, Stockton police released a video asking for help identifying a person of interest who had been spotted at more than one scene, according to ABC. Brownlee was arrested 11 days later and is being held without bail. He was previously arrested in 1999 and sentenced to two years in prison for possessing and selling a controlled substance, according to WISN. After serving seven months, he was released on parole. He was convicted only two years later and sentenced to three years in prison for committing the same crime. He was released early in 2003 after making parole and was discharged three years later. ___________________________________________________  Lantern Cactus ___________________________________________________ It is illegal for a woman in Montana to dance on a bar with less than 3 pounds of clothing on. That is why their dancers wear gum boots or steel toe work boots. In Virginia it is illegal to go out without wearing a corset. By the way there used to be an Official Corset Inspector. In Missouri, however, corsets were prohibited as it denied men the privilege of seeing the naturally curvaceous form of women. No wonder they call Missouri the Show Me State. Show it ALL baby! In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal for a woman to wear patent leather shoes in case she offends onlookers with a glimpse of her panties in the reflection. Hey, the most of the girls I know from Cleveland, dont even WEAR panties. And Boy, do I love their cute shiny shoes! In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm. Apparently that was such a popular fad, that they needed a law about it. In Newcastle, Wyoming there is a law against having sex in a butcher shop's meat freezer. The nap afterward can be deadly! In Ventura County, California there is a law against cats and dogs having sex without a permit. Yeah Like I tried calling the Ventura County offices, and told the lady my dog and cat had the hots for each other, and could I get a permit so they could do the nasty. The nerve of that woman, hanging up on me like that. In Texas, its illegal to possess more than (6) dildos or vibrators, while its perfectly legal to carry concealed weapons. In Washington, D.C. there is a law against having sex in any position other than face-to-face. Except for politicians, of course. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  _______________________________________________ "More Interesting Factoids" The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstones. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400 Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 81,000. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China 1910. The youngest pope was 20 years old. ____________________________________________________ >From Millie Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants' restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped. Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus." Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee. "Excuse me; I need to use the restroom," he said, gesturing toward the doors, "Which one should I use?" "Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men." "Bronco and Cactus are our private dining rooms." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ellen Re: Next eclipse Dear Webby When is the next eclipse, and where do I find that kind of information? Ellen Dear Ellen Try thius link at the Almanac Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling. 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients . Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. 3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. 4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. 5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. 6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. 7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." 8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. 9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "Hurrah". 10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. 11. Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100- foot clipper. 12. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. 13. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. ____________________________________________________ Today, January 8 in 1642, Astronomer Galileo Galilei died in Arcetri, Italy. 1675, The first corporation was chartered in the United States. The company was the New York Fishing Company. 1790, In the United States, George Washington delivered the first State of the Union address. 1815, The Battle of New Orleans began. The War of 1812 had officially ended on December 24, 1814, with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent. The news of the signing had not reached British troops in time to prevent their attack on New Orleans. 1838, Alfred Vail demonstrated a telegraph code he had devised using dots and dashes as letters. The code was the predecessor to Samuel Morse's code. 1853, A bronze statue of Andrew Jackson on a horse was unveiled in Lafayette Park in Washington, DC. The statue was the work of Clark Mills. 1856, Borax (hydrated sodium borate) was discovered by Dr. John Veatch. 1877, Crazy Horse (Tashunca-uitco) and his warriors fought their final battle against the U.S. Cavalry in Montana. 1886, The Severn Railway Tunnel, Britain's longest, was opened. 1889, The tabulating machine was patented by Dr. Herman Hollerith. His firm, Tabulating Machine Company, later became International Business Machines Corporation (IBM). 1894, Fire caused serious damage at the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, IL. 1900, U.S. President McKinley placed Alaska under military rule. 1900, In South Africa, General White turned back the Boers attack of Ladysmith. 1908, A catastrophic train collision occurred in the smoke-filled Park Avenue Tunnel in New York City. Seventeen were killed and thirty-eight were injured. The accident caused a public outcry and increased demand for electric trains. 1916, During World War I, the final withdrawal of Allied troops from Gallipoli took place. 1918, U.S. President Woodrow Wilson announced his Fourteen Points as the basis for peace upon the end of World War I. 1935, The spectrophotometer was patented by A.C. Hardy. 1955, After 130 home basketball wins, Georgia Tech defeated Kentucky 59-58. It was the first Kentucky loss at home since January 2, 1943. 1958, Bobby Fisher, at the age of 14, won the United States Chess Championship for the first time. 1959, Charles De Gaulle was inaugurated as president of France's Fifth Republic. 1964, U.S. President Lyndon Johnson declared a "War on Poverty." 1962, Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa was exhibited in America for the first time at the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC. The next day the exhibit opened to the public. 1973, Secret peace talks between the United States and North Vietnam resumed near Paris, France. 1973, The trial opened in Washington, of seven men accused of bugging Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate apartment complex in Washington, DC. 1982, American Telephone & Telegraph (AT&T) settled the Justice Department's antitrust lawsuit against it by agreeing to divest itself of the 22 Bell System companies. 1982, The U.S. Justice Department withdrew an antitrust suit against IBM. 1992, U.S. President George H.W. Bush collapsed during a state dinner in Tokyo. White House officials said Bush was suffering from stomach flu. 1993, Bosnian President Izetbegovic visited the U.S. to plead his government's case for Western military aid and intervention to halt Serbian aggression. 1994, Tonya Harding won the ladies' U.S. Figure Skating Championship in Detroit, MI, a day after Nancy Kerrigan dropped out because of a clubbing attack that injured her right knee. The U.S. Figure Skating Association later took the title from Harding because of her involvement in the attack. 1998, Ramzi Yousef was sentenced to life in prison for his role of mastermind behind the World Trade Center bombing in New York. 1998, Scientists announced that they had discovered that galaxies were accelerating and moving apart and at faster speeds. 1999, The top two executives of Salt Lake City's Olympic Organizing Committee resigned amid disclosures that civic boosters had given cash to members of the International Olympic Committee. 1999, British Prime Minister Tony Blair concluded a three-day visit to South Africa. 2009, In Egypt, archeologists entered a 4,300 year old pyramid and discovered the mummy of Queen Sesheshet. 2022 Do smiled.
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