| Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Dr Moe!!!! Today is Fiday, June 16 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ History: today, June 16 in 1922, Henry Berliner accomplished his first helicopter flight at College Park, MD. ___________________________________________ Bonehead 70 year old Gas plumber hospitalized after he was assaulted by robber while on the job ___________________________________________________ Q A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. --- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. --- George Burns (1896 - 1996) ____________________________________________________ 710 The other day I was in the local auto part store. A lady comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all looked at each other and said, "What's a seven ten cap?" She said "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost some how and I need a new one." "What kind of a car is it on," they asked? Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she said its a Buick. "OK lady, how big is it?" She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. "What does it do?," we asked. She said, "I don't know, but its always been there." One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710. The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down as she writes it, and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard in hysterics. One guy said " I think you want an oil cap." She said, "Seven Ten cap, oil cap, I don't care what you call it, I just need one, and I don't see what is so funny about it." __________________________________________________ Following is a supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.: Correction of Directive 943456201, issued recently, concerning the fixed price of groundhog meat. In the above named directive, the quotation on groundhog meat should read, "ground hogmeat." ___________________________________________________ How does a Jewish wife cheat on her husband? She has a headache with the kosher butcher. ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Leona "I had the strangest dream last night," Morris was telling his psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. As you can imagine, I found this very disturbing. In fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream." The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? That's a breakfast?" ________________________________________________ Rainbow-Obsidian ___________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Eric Lartigue, 33, Chandler, Arizona, USA 70 year old Gas plumber hospitalized after he was assaulted by robber while on the job A worker in Chandler was badly hurt while on the job by a suspect who then stole his car, police said in a news release on June 13. The incident happened on June 12 near Ray and Cooper roads when the 70-year-old Mesa man, Daniel Lopez, was at a client's home for gas plumbing services. "It was reported that a subject had confronted the victim, assaulted him, and then stole the victim's vehicle before leaving," police said. Police say the suspect used a shovel in the attack. The suspect is 33-year-old Eric Lartigue, and he's from Chandler. "The investigation revealed that after assaulting Lopez, Lartigue went to known residences in Queen Creek and Gilbert, where he committed other crimes at both locations before being contacted by Gilbert PD in a business parking lot in Queen Creek," police detailed. Lartigue was arrested near Riggs and Ellsworth roads and booked into jail on suspicion of aggravated assault and theft of a vehicle. As for Lopez, he has serious injuries and is in the hospital, police say. Family says that although Lopez was referred to as a landscaper by police, he's actually a natural gas plumber, but ties up after making a mess. Lopez owns The Gas Man company in Mesa. Beating up a 70 year old worker with a shovel before robbing him and stealing his car should get Lartigue free room and board for many years. ___________________________________________________ While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family's faith to class. At the appropriate time she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students. The first child said, "I am Muslim and this is my prayer rug." The second child said, "I am Jewish and this is my Star of David." The third child said, "I am Catholic and this is my rosary." Little Johnny was the final child and he said, "I am Southern Baptist and this is my casserole dish." ___________________________________________________ >From Joathan Right outside her front door, my mother-in-law had a ther- mometer that never seemed to tell the correct temperature. One chilly day, we all noticed that the thermometer, which was in direct sunlight, read a balmy 72 degrees. "Mom," my wife suggested without thinking, "you should stick that thing where the sun doesn't shine." ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. "Gladly," responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given." ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Oscar Re: Is it true that Microsoft screwed up HomeGroup? Dear Webby Is it true that Microsoft screwed up HomeGroup? or is that just BS to get us to buy a W10 machine? Oscar Dear Oscar Yes, unfortunately that is very true. Apparently not enough people were hating Microslop. Buying a brand new W10 machine won't help you. It is NOT a W7 - W10 upgrade screw-up. You have to go back to W3 sneaker net and copy files onto a camera chip and walk it over to the other machine. If that is too barbaaric for you, you can upload it to your web site with FTP, and download it to the other machine. The fringe benefit of that is that the other machine can be on a different continent. It is fervently hoped that W13 will bring back the network Neighborhood so that you don't have to switch to Macs. Have FUN! DearWebby __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today June 16, in 0455, Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. 1487, The War of the Roses ended with the Battle of Stoke. 1567, Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in Lochleven Castle in Scotland. 1815, Napoleon defeated the Prussians at the Battle of Ligny, Netherlands. 1858, In a speech in Springfield, IL, U.S. Senate candidate Abraham Lincoln said the slavery issue had to be resolved. He declared, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." 1884, At Coney Island, in Brooklyn, NY, the first roller coaster in America opened. 1883, The New York Giants baseball team admitted all ladies for free to the ballpark. It was the first Ladies Day. 1897, The U.S. government signed a treaty of annexation with Hawaii. 1903, Ford Motor Company was incorporated. 1904, The novel "Ulysses" by James Joyce took place. The main character of the book was Leopold Bloom. 1907, The Russian czar dissolved the Duma in St. Petersburg. 1909, Glenn Hammond Curtiss sold his first airplane, the "Gold Bug" to the New York Aeronautical Society for $5,000. 1922, Henry Berliner accomplished his first helicopter flight at College Park, MD. 1925, France accepted a German proposal for a security pact. 1932, The ban on Nazi storm troopers was lifted by the von Papen government in Germany. 1940, Marshal Henri-Philippe Petain became the prime minister of the Vichy government of occupied France. 1941, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the closure of all German consulates in the United States. The deadline was set as July 10. 1952, "Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl" was published in the United States. 1955, The U.S. House of Representatives voted to extend Selective Service until 1959. 1955, Pope Pius XII excommunicated Argentine President Juan Peron. The ban was lifted eight years later. 1955, Argentine naval officers launched an attack on President Juan Peron's headquarters. The revolt was suppressed by the army. 1961, Rudolf Nureyev defected from the Soviet Union while in Paris, traveling with the Leningrad Kirov Ballet. 1963, 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit aboard the Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was the first female space traveler. 1972, Ulrike Meinhof was captured by West German police in Hanover. She was co-founder of the Baader-Meinhof terrorist group and the Red Army Faction (Rote Armee Fraktion). 1975, The Simonstown agreement on naval cooperation between Britain and South Africa ended. The agreement was formally ended by mutual agreement after 169 years. 1976, In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted against the South African government's plan to enforce Afrikaans as the language for instruction in black schools. 1977, Leonid Brezhnev was named the first Soviet president of the USSR. He was the first person to hold the post of president and Communist Party General Secretary. He replaced Nikolai Podgorny. 1978, U.S. President Carter and Panamanian leader Omar Torrijos ratified the Panama Canal treaties. 1978, The film adaptation of "Grease" premiered in New York City. 1980, The movie "The Blues Brothers" opened in Chicago, IL. 1981, The "Chicago Tribune" purchased the Chicago Cubs baseball team from the P.K. Wrigley Chewing Gum Company for $20.5 million. 1983, Yuri Andropov was elected chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet. The position was the equivalent of president. 1984, Wilson Ferreira Aldunate was arrested upon his return from an eleven year exile. Aldunate had been a popular Uruguayan opposition leader. 1985, Willie Banks broke the world record for the triple jump with a leap of 58 feet, 11-1/2 inches in the U.S.A. championships in Indianapolis, IN. 1992, U.S. President George H.W. Bush welcomed Russian President Boris Yeltsin to a meeting in Washington, DC. The two agreed in principle to reduce strategic weapon arsenals by about two-thirds by the year 2003. 1993, The U.S. Postal Service released a set of seven stamps that featured Bill Haley, Buddy Holly, Clyde McPhatter, Otis Redding, Ritchie Valens, Dinah Washington and Elvis Presley. 1996, Russian voters had their first independent presidential election. Boris Yeltsin was the winner after a run-off. 1999, The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said that a 1992 federal music piracy law does not prohibit a palm-sized device that can download high-quality digital music files from the Internet and play them at home. 2000, U.S. federal regulators approved the merger of Bell Atlantic and GTE Corp. The merger created the nation's largest local phone company. 2000, U.S. Secretary of Energy Bill Richardson reported that an employee at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico had discovered that two computer hard drives were missing. 2008, California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. 2017, Amazon announced plans to buy Whole Foods for $13.7 billion. 2023, Do smiled.
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
