Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, August 23 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Pennsylvania men face 1,460 counts each of sex with animals  ______________________________________________________ Today, August 23 in 1839 Hong Kong was taken by the British in a war with China. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. --- H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946) History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte History is the version of past events that the winners have decided to agree upon. --- Dwight D Eisenhower ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 1200 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, "WHY?" The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $1200 was for. She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ A swimming instructor at a Los Angeles university was quizzing a group of students on Red Cross life saving and water safety techniques . They answered all of her questions easily until she posed this one: "Which article of clothing would you remove last if you fell from a boat or dock fully clothed?" Everyone mentioned something different. It was evident that no one knew the correct answer, so the instructor helped out. "The blouse," she said, "because the air gets under the blouse and acts like a buoy!" The subsequent uproar ended the class. ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Terry Wallace, 41; Marc Measnikoff, 34; and Matthew Brubaker, 32; Clearfield County, Pennsylvania  Pennsylvania men face 1,460 counts of sex with animals  Three Pennsylvania men face a slew of charges that includes more than 1,400 counts of having sex with animals. Terry Wallace, 41; Marc Measnikoff, 34; and Matthew Brubaker, 32; are all facing 1,460 counts of sexual intercourse with animals, according to the Clearfield District Attorney's Office. The three have also been charged with animal cruelty, endangering the welfare of children and corruption of minors. State police said in an affidavit that they received information from a 16-year-old boy living at the residence where the three men were allegedly having sex with animals, including dogs, horses, a cow, and goat. The juvenile was able to describe a specially designed "V" shaped pen that was used to facilitate the sexual contact, prosecutors allege. In the early morning hours of August 18, state police served a search warrant on the property, and took the three men into custody. A search of the property revealed a large amount of homemade videos, along with recording equipment and cameras, according to the affidavit. The teen, who police say was living on the makeshift farm, is now in protective custody. District Attorney William Shaw Jr. said in a release Monday that no evidence suggests that the 16-year-old had been sexually abused, but the investigation is ongoing "to determine the extent of mental or physical abuse the juvenile may have been exposed to." According to the release, the arrests followed what Shaw said was one of the most extreme cases of animal abuse that his office has handled. Bail has been set at $100,000 for each defendant. 
  From: Tuck Re: Not getting subscription  Dear Webby This is the second week that i'm not getting the Humor letter. Don't know what's going on, know you are sending them just not getting them. Got this one after I replyed last week, but not any since this one. Whats going on? Tuck   Dear Tuck Your subscription is being sent out towards you every day. Either you or AOL are blocking it. You will have to talk to AOL support Or get gmail. Have FUN DearWebby  
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 With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet." A little later they ask again to see the baby. Again the mother says "not yet." Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And the mother says, "When the baby cries." They all ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?" The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it." 
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 A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another car passes them. The woman notices that the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise on down the highway. This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?" Her question was met with a few moments of silence. Then, after glancing at his gnarled hands on the steering wheel he quietly replied, "I haven't moved." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Razor Blades in Matchbooks Empty matchbooks can be used to store razor blades. Just insert the razor blade into the bottom part of the matchbook. The strike plate can even be used to sharpen the blade in a pinch. Mark the matchbook so you know what's in it.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
 Origami is a real art form. I never knew you could fold one sheet of paper in so many different ways! 
 ___________________________________________________ A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman: "Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair." Friend: "But your husband is still alive." Woman: "I know, but his hair is gone." ____________________________________________________  
 Today, August 23 in 1838 The first class graduated from Mount Holyoke Female Seminary in South Hadley, MA. It was one of the first colleges for women. 1839 Hong Kong was taken by the British in a war with China. 1858 "Ten Nights in a Barroom" opened in New York City at the National Theater. It was a melodrama about the evils of drinking. 1892 The printed streetcar transfer was patented by John H. Stedman. 1902 Fannie Merrit Farmer opened her cooking school, Miss Farmers School of Cookery, in Boston, MA. 1904 Hard D. Weed patented the grip-tread tire chain for cars. 1914 Tsingtao, China, was bombarded as Japan declared war on Germany in World War I. 1939 Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union signed a non- aggression treaty. 1944 During World War II, Romanian prime minister Ion Antonescue was dismissed. Soon after the country would abandon the Axis and flip to the Allies. 1944 Marseilles was captured by Allied troops during World War II. 1952 The security pact of the Arab League went into effect. 1959 In the Peanuts comic strip, Sally debuted as an infant. 1962 The first live TV program was relayed between the U.S. and Europe through the U.S. Telstar satellite. 1979 Soviet dancer Alexander Godunov defected while the Bolshoi Ballet was on tour in New York City. 1982 The parliament of Lebanon elected Bashir Bemayel president. He was assassinated three weeks later. 1987 Robert Jarvik and Marilyn Mach vos Savant were married. The event was called the "Union of Great Minds" since Savant had an IQ of 228 and Jarvik was the inventor of the artificial heart. 1990 President Saddam Hussein appeared on Iraqi state television with a group of Western detainees that he referred to as "guests." He told the group that they were being held "to prevent the scourge of war." 1993 It was confirmed by Los Angeles police that Michael Jackson was the subject of a criminal investigation. 1996 U.S. President Clinton imposed limits on peddling cigarettes to children. 1998 Boris Yeltsin dismissed the Russian government again. 1999 Rescuers in Turkey found a young boy that had been buried in rubble from an earthquake for about a week. 1999 Robert Bogucki was rescued after getting lost in the Great Sandy Desert of Australia on July 11. During the 43 day ordeal Bogucki lost 44 pounds. 2000 Richard Hatch was revealed as the winning castaway on CBS' "Survivor." Hatch won $1,000,000 for his stay on the island of Pulau Tida in the South China Sea. 2018 Do smiled. 
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