Googlad0r Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, November 9 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Woman arrested for setting fire to southeast Fresno restaurant _____________________________________________________ Today, November 9 in 1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its citizens to travel freely to West Germany. _____________________________________________________ I have often depended on the blindness of strangers. --- Adrienne E. Gusoff _____________________________________________________ Guards escorted a handcuffed prisoner into the courtroom where I stood as the court deputy. "Is this a tough judge?" the prisoner asked the baliff. The baliff replied, "Tough but fair." "Yeah?" continued the prisoner. "How tough?" "The toughest judge since Pontius Pilate," the baliff replied. The prisoner answered, "I don't know him. I'm not from around here." _____________________________________________________ Giant Groundsels, prehistoric plants found on top of Mt Kilimanjaro ___________________________________________________ A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. For a $100 fee in advance, he cured anything and everything on everybody. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the town. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sandra Seyer, 55, Fresno, California, USA Woman arrested for setting fire to southeast Fresno restaurant Fresno police have a woman in custody for allegedly setting fire to a southeast Fresno restaurant last month. Investigators say 55-year-old Sandra Seyler broke a window and threw a fiery object inside McCoy's Coffee Shop on Clovis Avenue and Kings Canyon Road. By the time firefighters arrived on scene, flames were shooting out of the roof and windows. Drone video from SkyView30 showed the charred remains of the building. The restaurant was closed at the time of the fire, so no one was hurt. A motive for the arson has not been publicly released. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Dorothy RE: Not getting the Humor Letter Dear Webby, I HAVEN'T RECEIVED THE "HUMOR LETTER" FOR AT LEAST TWO DAYS- I JUST WONDERED IF YOU STILL HAVE ME ON YOUR MAILING LIST? DOROTHY W I MISS NOT GETTING THE HUMOR LETTER? Dorothy Dear Dorothy That's just a routine Yahoo malfunction. Yes, you are on the list, and your Humor Letter has entered the Yahoo servers every night. Once it has entered the Yahoo servers, there is nothing more I can do about it. You can try contacting the yahoos and argue with their auto-responders. Until they get their problem fixed, or until you graduate from there and get reliable mail, you can browse to http://webby.com/humor and see what the people with better mail service received in their email, every day. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ >From Minna When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember." ____________________________________________ Over heard at drug store last week. Standing near the check out stand, a teenager spotted a display of condom: "Hey Dad, what's a three pack for?" remarks the teenager. "Those are for the weekend. Two for Friday night, and one for Saturday" remarked the father. "Then Dad, what's a six pack for?" "That's when she moves in to your pad. Two for Friday night, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday". "Then Dad, what's a twelve pack for?" "That's for when your married. One for January, one for February, one for......." ____________________________________________ An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never been caught yet." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today November 9 in 1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a U.S. president. 1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on neon advertising signs. 1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. He then fled to the Netherlands. 1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall full of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint. 1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. 1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500 Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world record speed of 4,093 mph. 1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated its "caucasians only" rule. 1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust explosion. 1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants, mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also involved in the operation. 1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan to India. It was the highest loan to date. 1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing commentator for NBC. 1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, DC. 1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non- aggression treaty with Germany. 1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked British businesses to invest. 1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging of Nasdaq stocks. 2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House to pedestrians. 2020 Do smiled. |
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