Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, July 5 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Barely Pregnant Florida Woman Arrested For Cupcake Battery  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 5 in 1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Don't waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The high-school girl confessed to her kindly old rabbi that she'd often have sex with her boyfriend in the front seat of his car. "Now my daughter," consoled the rabbi, "I'm sure if you think about it, you'll know you've been doing something wrong." "Yeah, I guess you right." replied the cheerleader. "Maybe it would be more comfortable in the back seat." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says, "Yesch, Preacher..I schure am." The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked. "Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk. The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?" "Noooo, I did not Reverend." The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?" The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher... "Are you schure thisch isch where he fell in?" ______________________________________________________   El-Matador State Beach, California _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Latonya Daugherty, 24, Edddie Yaddow, 30, Vero Beach, Floriduh  Barely Pregnant Woman Arrested For Cupcake Battery  A pregnant Florida woman was arrested for domestic battery after pelting her brother with frosted cupcakes during a 1:45 AM argument Saturday in the family's Vero Beach residence, police report. According to cops, Latonya Daugherty, 24, was quarreling with her 30-year-old sibling when the verbal argument escalated. Daugherty (seen above) allegedly picked up frosted cup cakes and threw them at Edddie Yaddow. The cupcakes, an arrest affidavit notes, struck Yaddow in the arm and chest. Yaddow, investigators say, retaliated by removing frosting off his arms and wiping it in her hair. Yaddow, pictured at right, also allegedly kicked Daugherty in the stomach. In an interview with police, Daugherty's mother described her daughter as the initial primary aggressor as she threw cupcakes. But Yaddow's reaction, cops concluded, exceeded a reasonable response in self defense, prompting officers to arrest him for aggravated battery. Daugherty--who told police that she was about four to six weeks pregnant--was released from jail Saturday evening after posting $1000 bond. Yaddow remains locked up in lieu of $10,000 bond on the felony battery charge. While police took note of the blue frosting in Daugherty's hair, the cupcakes themselves were not collected as evidence.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Tom Re: Shortcuts to sites Dear Webby, Dear Webby, Is there anyway to put a short cut to a favorite internet site on my desktop and not make it obvious? Tom  Dear Tom There sure is, but it's a secret. You have to swear never to tell it to an officer or burocrat who outranks you. Millions of readers in the military and in companies, where they are not allowed email newsletters like the Humor Letter, depend on you to keep it secret. OK, here is the secret procedure: Go to that site, for example http://webby.com/humor Add it to the Favorites to save the favicon Grab the icon on the left side of the address bar and drag it to an empty space on your desktop. Hit F2 and rename the icon title to something related to work If the icon that shows up is too obvious, change the icon to a spreadsheet or word processor icon or something that looks like it might be work related. Have FUN! DearWebby    A hacker went up to a club pro and challenged him to 18 holes of golf for $100. There was one catch, though -- the hacker gets two Gotcha's. The club pro, with his attitude, said, "No problem. Whatever the heck Gotcha's are, I'll still kick your butt all over the course. After the round, the two walked into the clubhouse. Others were stunned to see the club pro pay the hacker $100. They asked the pro how it happened. He remarked, "Well, when I was teeing off on the first hole, right in the middle of my backswing, he reached between my legs, grabbed my balls and yelled, 'Gotcha!' And you have no idea what it is like playing 18 holes waiting for the second Gotcha..." 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buying Souvenirs When You Travel  When buying souvenirs when you travel try to buy something that you or the person you are buying it for can actually use. Try to avoid buying something that will just be sold at your next garage sale. Tip provided by http://www.ThriftyFun.com  I bought my dad some of those photo placemats about 40 years ago. Since then, he has bought placemats on every one of his trips, and has accumulated quite a formidable collection by now. By using different ones every day, they will probably outlast him. In the meantime he has breakfast at a different scenic location every day, even when he is travelling just to his breakfast nook in his wintergarden. Have FUN! DearWebby  ____________________________________________________  
 
 
Man films tree in woods for one year 
 ____________________________________________________  The Governor made room on his busy calendar to hear the plea of one Senora Rodriguez that her husband be released from the state penitentiary. "What was he sentenced for?" asked the Governor gently. "For stealing a bread truck," replied the offender's wife, nervously fingering her mantilla. "Is he a good husband?" "No," she replied frankly, blushing a bit. "He beats me when he gets drunk, he bullies our children, he's unfaithful, and really not much good at all." "It sounds to me as though you're better off without him," said the Governor. "Why on earth do you want him out of jail?" "Well," she explained, "we're out of bread again." ___________________________________________________  
 
 I dislike spiders (no, I hate spiders!) but this one is fascinating. 
 ___________________________________________________ Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. --- Ambrose Bierce 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ A young Navajo man excitedly calls his mother to say he's been in love awhile, she's the ideal girl, and he is going marry her. "Oh, that's wonderful. Hurry up and bring her over," his mother says with the excitement and impatience typical of mothers. "Not so soon," he laughs. "I want to see how well you know your son. I'm going to bring her over with two friends. You guess which one is her." The next day, he brings three beautiful Navajo women into his mother's house, sits them down on the couch, and they chat pleasantly for awhile. He then says, "Okay, guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The one on the right." "That's amazing! You're right. How did you know?" "I don't like her." 
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 Today, on July 5, in 1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina. 1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to declare independence from Spain. 1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior British force at Chippewa, Canada. 1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers. 1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against Austrian rule. 1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan Island in China and then occupied it. 1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and distributed supplies to the citizens. 1865 William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. 1916 Adelina and August Van Buren started on the first successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. They started in New York City and arrived in San Diego, CA, on September 12, 1916. 1935 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the National Labor Relations Act into law. The act authorized labor to organize for the purpose of collective bargaining. 1940 During World War II, Britain and the Vichy government in France broke diplomatic relations. 1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union. 1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history. 1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. 1948 Britain's National Health Service Act went into effect, providing government-financed medical and dental care. 1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first time at Osan, South Korea. 1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. 1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule. 1984 The U.S. Supreme Court weakened the 70-year-old "exclusionary rule," deciding that evidence seized with defective court warrants could be used against defendants in criminal trials. 1989 Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for his part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions were later overturned. 1991 Regulators shut down the Pakistani-managed Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) in eight countries. The charge was fraud, drug money laundering and illegal infiltration into the U.S. banking system. 1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars. 2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner. 2017 Do smiled.

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