Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, December 26 Merry Christmas! Have FUN! Dearwebby >From Bill Maybe Helene should get a mouse with two LEFT buttons. Merry Christmas. Bill Today's Bonehead Award: Suicide by cops in Hawaii ______________________________________________________ Today, December 26 in 1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was made by Clonaid. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Michelangelo Buonarroti (1475 - 1564) Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head. --- Andy Rooney (1919 - ) "Iran is going to build an island just for women who want to go on vacation. No men will be allowed on the island. Which leads to the question, 'If something goes wrong, whose fault will it be?'" --- Jay Leno ______________________________________________________ Fresh out of business school, a young man answered a want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Laura was attending her High School reunion and was having a blast. As the evening was drawing to a close, the master of ceremonies for the night proceeded to hand out bottles of champagne to the graduates who had traveled the farthest distance to attend the reunion, the graduate who had been married the longest time, the graduate who had become the most successful, etc. And Laura wondered if she was going to get a prize too. Sure enough, the master of ceremonies called out her name. "Laura, you win with 11 kids." and then, trying to be clever, he added in "And champagne is only half the prize. The other half is a giant, economy size bottle of aspirin." "Don't bother with the aspirin," Laura replied. "It's obvious with these many kids that I've never had a headache." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ Reported by Michael An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Kaulana Toji Reinhardt, 26, Wailuku, Hawaii Suicide by cop in Hawaii On Sunday, December 23, 2018 at about 10:35 a.m., officers observed a stolen red Toyota Tacoma being driven by Kaulana Toji Reinhardt. Reinhardt was wanted for numerous outstanding arrest warrants to include one for Attempted Murder in the First Degree with a bail set at $1 million. Officers attempted to initiate a traffic stop on the truck but Reinhardt refused to stop and a pursuit ensued. The pursuit continued and ended on Kaohu Street at Market Street in Wailuku. As two officers attempted to apprehend Reinhardt, he pulled out a handgun. Shots were exchanged and Reinhardt was hit. Officers immediately administered CPR and applied an AED until medical personnel arrived. Reinhardt was then transported to the Maui Memorial Medical Center where he would succumb to his injuries. One officer sustained minor injuries that did not require medical treatment. No other officers or bystanders were hurt in this incident. Police temporarily closed off a portion of South Market Street and Kaohu Street to conduct the investigation. The officers involved had three and 15 years of experience, respectively. Both officers have been placed on Administrative Leave, which is normal procedure in these types of investigations. From: Armond Re: Occasional priting Dear Webby, I only use my printer for one week every quarter year, but then print quite a lot. After sitting for three months, even fresh name brand cartridges are dead. Is there a way to keep them from dying in the meantime? Would it help to take them out and put them into the freezer? Armond Dear Armond The freezer will destroy them for sure. Wrapping them tightly with Saran wrap, or similar stretch film wrap, may help occasionally, with some brands, but is not really a reliable solution. Especially if you 'print quite a lot', get a laser printer. Laser printers are cheaper per page, and since the toner, that they use instead of ink, is a dry powder, it does not make any difference how long it sits between print jobs. A Laser takes 5 - 10 seconds to warm up after cold hibernation, but it does not care if the hibernation was during lunch hour or a few years. Once warmed up, it will print MUCH faster than an inkjet printer. It spits out a page in the time an inkjet printer prints one line. The warming up is not for the toner, but for the hot fuser roller, that melts the dry toner into the paper. All the photos, that you get at photo finishing places, are printed with laser printers on photo paper. Laser printers have come way down in price. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year. "Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections?" another friend suggested. "I already thought of that," he replied. "But my keyboard doesn't have Roman numerals on it." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
>From Karla While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Karla couldn't help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember -- run to Dad first, then the dog." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Working With Glitter If you are working with glitter or other small material for crafts, be sure to put down a piece of newspaper before you start working. Then when you are done, you can form the newspaper into a funnel and pour the extra back into the glitter container. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Your daily dose of internet. |
___________________________________________________ >From Joan My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items. Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had 1 bag of sugar, 2 dozen eggs, 3 hams, 4 boxes of detergent, 5 boxes of crackers, 6 eggplants, and 7 green peppers. ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Wendy for sending this story: A Taxi driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The taxi driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold up?' 'Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Traitor Flake. They are asking for a $1 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.' The cabbie asks, 'On average, how much is everyone giving?' 'Oh, about a gallon. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________ | Today December 26 in 1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor. 1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of Trenton during the American Revolutionary War. 1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. 1908 Texan boxer "Galveston Jack" Johnson knocked out Tommy Burns in Sydney, Australia, to become the first black boxer to win the world heavyweight title. 1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation of the nation's railroads. 1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing dominion of Great Britain. 1927 The East-West Shrine football game featured numbers on both the front and back of players' jerseys. 1941 Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister to address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress. 1941 U.S. President Roosevelt signed a resolution that set the a fixed-date, the fourth Thursday of November, for the Federal Thanksgiving Day holiday. 1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape. 1944 Tennessee Williams' play "The Glass Menagerie" was first performed publicly, at the Civic Theatre in Chicago, IL. 1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths. 1953 "Big Sister" was heard for the last time on CBS Radio. The show ran for 17 years. 1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to overthrow the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters were killed. 1982 The Man of the Year in "TIME" magazine was a computer. It was the first time a non-human received the honors. 1986 "Search for Tomorrow" was seen for the last time on CBS-TV. The show had been on the air for 35-years. 1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country out of existence. 1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the Palestinian Authority. 1996 Six-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey was found beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home in Boulder, CO. 1998 Iraq announced that it would fire on U.S. and British warplanes that patrol the skies over northern and southern Iraq. 1999 Alfonso Portillo, a populist lawyer, won Guatemala's first peacetime presidential elections in 40 years. 2000 Michael McDermott, age 42, opened fire at his place of employment killing seven people. McDermott had no criminal history. 2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was made December 27 by Clonaid. 2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 500- mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India. 2018 Do smiled. |
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