Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, March 16 ______________________________________________________ Today, March 16 in 1926 Physicist Robert H. Goddard launched the first liquid-fuel rocket. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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    Rapist got 32 years ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ There it was, hidden in alphabetical order. --- Rita Holt You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus. --- Mark Twain _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yeth, they uthed to be," the patient said sadly. ______________________________________________________   Purple Tits _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________    An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Choncey Milan Stewart, 18, St Paul, Minnesota  Gunman-instigator in two teens' Harriet Island rape gets 32 years in prison  The last of four young men involved in the brutal rape of two teens on Harriet Island during the summer of 2017 received 32 years in prison for his role in the attack. Ramsey County District Judge Timothy Mulrooney on Friday sentenced Choncey Stewart, 18, on two counts of aiding and abetting first-degree criminal sexual conduct, two counts of kidnapping and four counts of first-degree aggravated robbery. The sentence was lower than the roughly 50 years prosecutors sought. Choncey Milan Stewart, 18 Authorities say Stewart, who was 16 at the time, was the instigator and gunman during the incident, which took place around 11 p.m. June 5. He and three others Devontre Jordan Vann, 20, Deandray Artez Easley, 20, Vershone Jaquay Hodges, 21 encountered a group of four teens two girls and their two male friends on Harriet Island that night. After exchanging some words Stewart knew one of them the group forced the boys to strip to their underwear and lie in the grass as three of the young men, including Stewart, took turns raping the girls. All the while Stewart had the gun, and often used it to threaten the victims. Three of the four victims were minors. One of the girls was 18 at the time. Previously, the longest sentence in the case went to Easley, the only one of the four to take his case to trial. Easley was sentenced to 30 years in prison. Hodges and Vann received 25 and 23 years, respectively, after reaching plea deals. Stewart's sentence came about two months after he pleaded guilty to the charges. He and his friends had gone to the park that night to shoot a music video, according to court testimony from the others' cases. They were high on Xanax and drunk on tequila at the time of the assaults. Both of the female victims spoke at a previous sentencing hearing, where they described through tears how they struggle with ongoing panic attacks, severe depression, sleeplessness and hopelessness since the assault. 
 From: Bill Re: OpenOffice vs Office Libre  Dear DearWebby I believe that you recommend LibreOffice rather than Open Office. I believe that there is a very slight edge of one over the other. All the best. Bill  Dear Bill Apache OpenOffice is behind LibreOffice in release numbers. That means Libre has more frequent, smaller, updates, and Apache has less frequent, but bigger updates. Neither of those are earth shaking events, but may affect bragging rights on some school buses. In actual operation, there is very little difference. The average user might not see too many differences between these open-source office suites. At most, if you looked at them side- by-side, you'd see the Apache OpenOffice sidebar is on by default, in Libre you have to click on VIEW, Sidebar. Big deal. The same with the rest of the programs. They all do the same, but the advantage is yours. Whatever you are used to, stick with it. Have Fun! DearWebby  
  Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?'" 
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 One year my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on. Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five miles farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next one was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that half-mile. We came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery, and it read: "Ice 75 cents." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ironing Shirts Start by ironing sleeves, cuffs, belts and collars before ironing the body of the shirt. This will prevent you from having to re-iron the body of the shirt. When ironing collars, iron from the corners inward to prevent wrinkles on the ends of the collars.  NOW you tell me! After I sold my iron at the yard sale.  Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
  
Our best adventures were from getting lost, which is easy for me since I'm directionally challenged. 
 ___________________________________________________ A 93 year old man went to his doctor to get a physical. A week later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with an attractive young woman on his arm. At the man's next visit, the doctor said, "I saw you with a young lady the other day. You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doc, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful." ----------------------- Any hot mamas left out there? ___________________________________________________ A very beautiful, but not so bright lady schedules a three-hour session with her therapist, and all she wants to talk about is how the constant pressure of being a beautiful, desirable blonde is causing her migraine headaches. For two hours straight, she whines, and cries, and moans about how hard it is to be so sexy, while everyone in the world is jealous of her, and says mean things about her, and calls her dumb, and self-centered, and shallow . . . At the two-and-a-half-hour mark, the blonde suddenly stops in mid sentence and shouts, "Doctor! You're a miracle worker! I'm cured! My headache is gone!" The shrink sighs and replies, "No, it isn't gone. . . I have it now." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated college. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper sign advertising his services. So he told a kid to paint a sign board for him & put it above his clinic entrance. Instead of his business building up, it declined steeply. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his clinic after reading the sign. So he decided to check it out for himself. One look and he understood why. The boy only found a small wooden board to paint the sign on and he had split the word psychotherapist into the 3 words. His new sign read: Psycho- the- rapist ___________________________________________________  
 Today March 16 in 1190 The Crusaders began the massacre of Jews in York, England. 1521 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Philippines. He was killed the next month by natives. 1527 The Emperor Babur defeated the Rajputs at the Battle of Kanvaha in India. 1621 Samoset walked into the settlement of Plymouth Colony, later Plymouth, MA. Samoset was a native from the Monhegan tribe in Maine who spoke English. 1871 The State of Delaware enacted the first fertilizer law. 1882 The U.S. Senate approved a treaty allowing the United States to join the Red Cross. 1907 The world's largest cruiser, the British Invincible was completed at Glasgow. 1908 China released the Japanese steamship Tatsu Maru. 1909 Cuba suffered its first revolt only six weeks after the inauguration of Gomez. 1913 The 15,000-ton battleship Pennsylvania was launched at Newport News, VA. 1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated his throne. 1926 Physicist Robert H. Goddard launched the first liquid-fuel rocket. 1928 The U.S. planned to send 1,000 more Marines to Nicaragua. 1935 Adolf Hitler ordered a German rearmament and violated the Versailles Treaty. 1939 Germany occupied the rest of Czechoslovakia. 1945 Iwo Jima was declared secure by the Allies. However, small pockets of Japanese resistance still existed. 1946 Algerian nationalist leader Ferhat Abbas was freed after spending a year in jail. 1946 India called British Premier Attlee's independence off contradictory and a propaganda move. 1947 Martial law was withdrawn in Tel Aviv. 1950 Congress voted to remove federal taxes on oleomargarine. 1964 Paul Hornung and Alex Karras were reinstated to the NFL after an 11-month suspension for betting on football games. 1964 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson submitted a $1 billion war on poverty program to Congress. 1968 U.S. troops in Vietnam destroyed a village consisting mostly of women and children. The event is known as the My-Lai massacre. 1978 Italian politician Aldo Moro was kidnapped by left-wing urban guerrillas. Moro was later murdered by the group. 1982 Russia announced they would halt their deployment of new nuclear missiles in Western Europe. 1984 Mozambique and South Africa signed a pact banning the support for one another's internal enemies. 1984 William Buckley, the CIA station chief in Beirut, was kidnapped by gunmen. He died while in captivity. 1985 "A Chorus Line" played its 4,000 performance. 1985 Terry Anderson, an Associated Press newsman, was taken hostage in Beirut. He was released in December 4, 1991. 1987 "Bostonia" magazine printed an English translation of Albert Einstein's last high school report card. 1988 Indictments were issued for Lt. Colonel Oliver North, Vice Admiral John Poindexter of the National Security Council, and two others for their involvement in the Iran-Contra affair. 1988 Mickey Thompson and his wife Trudy were shot to death in their driveway. Thompson, known as the "Speed King," set nearly 500 auto speed endurance records including being the first person to travel more than 400 mph on land. 1989 In the U.S.S.R., the Central Committee approved Gorbachev's agrarian reform plan. 1989 The Soviet Communist Party's Central Committee approved large-scale agricultural reforms and elected the party's 100 members to the Congress of People's Deputies. 1993 In France, ostrich meat was officially declared fit for human consumption. 1994 Tonya Harding pled guilty in Portland, OR, to conspiracy to hinder prosecution for covering up the attack on her skating rival Nancy Kerrigan. She was fined $100,000. She was also banned from amateur figure skating. 1994 Russia agreed to phase out production of weapons-grade plutonium. 1995 NASA astronaut Norman Thagard became the first American to visit the Russian space station Mir. 1998 Rwanda began mass trials for 1994 genocide with 125,000 suspects for 500,000 murders. 1999 The 20 members of the European Union's European Commission announced their resignations amid allegations of corruption and financial mismanagement. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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