Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 19 ___________________________________________________ Today, July 19 in 1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: 'Evil man' jailed for life for murdering pregnant ex-girlfriend and killing their unborn baby ______________________________________________________ First secure an independent income, then practice virtue. --- Socratex ------------- I would LOVE to practice virtue, but... _____________________________________________________ A housewife called up a pet store and said, "Send me thirty thousand cockroaches at once." "What in the world do you want with thirty thousand cockroaches?" asked the astonished clerk. "Well," replied the woman, "I am moving today and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found it." _____________________________________________________ Cemal Bardaki ___________________________________________________ A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million." The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years." The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aaron McKenzie, 26, from Peckham, south London England 'Evil man' jailed for life for murdering pregnant ex-girlfriend and killing their unborn baby Aaron McKenzie, 26, broke into Kelly Fauvrelles bedroom as she slept and stabbed her 21 times, causing catastrophic injuries. Their son Riley was delivered by Caesarean section but died in hospital four days later. Prosecutors said McKenzie killed Royal Mail worker Miss Fauvrelle, 26, in a vicious and cowardly attack after their toxic relationship ended and she moved on. Aaron McKenzie was jailed for life with the minimum term of 35 years at the Old Bailey for killing his heavily pregnant ex-girlfriend. McKenzie, from Peckham, south London, denied it, claiming a man named Mike, who she owed money to, was responsible. But a jury took less than three hours to convict him of murdering 33-weeks pregnant Miss Fauvrelle, the manslaughter of baby Riley and possession of a knife. On Friday, The Recorder of London, Judge Mark Lucraft QC, jailed the cowardly killer for life with a minimum term of 35 years. He also handed him 20 years for the manslaughter of baby Riley and three years for possession of a knife, to run concurrently. The judge told him: At around 3.15am on June 29 last year, you broke into Kellys bedroom at the home she shared with her family. You then launched a ferocious attack on Kelly, inflicting no fewer than 21 stab wounds. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Bev RE: Converting all units Dear Webby, I lost a bet because of you! You wrote that your converter converts anything. So I quoted that to my significant other. He checked it, and even though he was impressed, he found one unit, that is not included. How do you convert Bra colume letters to metric decimal numbers? Bev Dear Bev Write to Josh, the guy, who wrote that converter in 1996. If you can get him the formula or the data, he will probably add it quite cheerfully. You can tell him that I used and recommended his converter since 1996. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Sound really does travel slower than light. The advice parents give to their 18 year olds doesn't reach them until they're about 40. _____________________________________________ An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the doorframe, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Back off!" she screamed, "They're for the funeral!" ____________________________________________ The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "Please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today July 19 in 1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau League to fight against the Reformation. 1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen. 1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic translations into Greek, was found in Egypt. 1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. 1870 France declared war on Prussia. 1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to use fiberglass sutures. 1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions off the U.S. Atlantic coast due to effective American anti- submarine countermeasures. 1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 B-24 bombers attacked Rome for the first time. 1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test. 1964 In Illinois, Cahokia Mounds was designated as a U.S. National Landmark. 1971 In New York, the topping out ceremony for Two World Trade Center (South Tower) took place. The ceremony for One World Trade Center had taken place on December 23, 1970. 1974 The House Judiciary Committee recommended that U.S. President Richard Nixon should stand trial in the Senate for any of the five impeachment charges against him. 1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after being linked in orbit for two days. 1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas was overthrown by the Sandinista National Liberation Front (Frente Sandinista de Liberacin Nacional or FSLN). 1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the population had an income below the official poverty level in 1981. 1985 George Bell won first place in a biggest feet contest with a shoe size of 28-1/2. Bell, at age 26, stood 7 feet 10 inches tall. 1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be the first schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. She died with six others when the Challenger exploded the following year. 2020 Do smiled. |
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