Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, February 19 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 19 in  2008 Fidel Castro resigned the Cuban presidency. His brother Raul was later named as his successor.  ______________________________________________________ I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) ______________________________________________________ 
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Today's Bonehead Award: Man accused of fatally shooting Fresno father, injuring wife and son, will stand trial __________________________________________ In dire need of a beauty make-over, Nancy went to her salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous haired model. She showed the stylist the trendy new cut she wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on her thin, graying hair. Nancy was delighted by his cheerful attitude until she recognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission Impossible." __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending me this picture: __________________________________________ A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you quit advertising it!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Man accused of fatally shooting Fresno father, injuring wife and son, will stand trial Lavale Vean Jr., 23, Maadera, California A Madera man accused of shooting three members of a northwest Fresno family and killing one of them will go to trial, a Fresno County Superior Court judge ruled Thursday. Lavale Vean Jr., 23, is charged with one count of murder and two counts of attempted murder in the Oct. 2, 2017 shooting that killed 52-year-old Roberto Ramos and wounded his wife, Irma, 52, and son, Jacob, 20. Although the shooting initially appeared random, detectives soon discovered Vean and Jacob Ramos shared a violent past. The two men had known each other for several years, having first met at the Madera County Juvenile Boot Camp. After serving their sentences, the two men did a few drug deals together, said Vincent Miranda, a Fresno detective. In 2015, Vean was supposed to buy some cocaine from Ramos, but the deal fell apart. Ramos accused Vean of paying him with phony money and Ramos vowed to get even, Miranda said. Ramos set up a fake drug deal in Madera to try and lure Vean into a trap. It worked, with Ramos and a friend beating up Vean, stripping his clothes off and kicking him in the face several times, Miranda testified. Miranda and prosecutor Ryan Wells believe Vean was looking for revenge the day he came to the Ramos home in the 5000 block of West Fir Avenue. When Miranda interviewed Vean, he asked the detective if he was aware of what was done to him in Madera. He (Vean) was upset because he felt justice had not been served in the case, Miranda said. Vean and an unidentified shooter allegedly approached the house, with one of the shooters taking aim at Jacob Ramos and his mother, who were sitting inside the garage. Another shooter went after Roberto Ramos, who was taking the garbage out, Miranda said. Multiple shots were fired. Fresno Police crime scene technician Gina Cavazos testified to collecting 16 bullet casings; 10 were .40 caliber and six were 9 mm. Miranda said police have not made any more arrests in the shooting. Veans attorney Lourdes Espinosa said her client doesnt know who the other shooter is. She said Veans memory is faulty because of the head trauma he suffered from the 2015 beating. Vean was arrested for the Ramos murder on Feb. 10, 2018 at a Motel 6 in Childress, Texas. Vean will be arraigned on Feb. 28. If convicted on all charges, he faces up to 108 years in prison. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mary Re: Online paying Dear Webby How safe is online paying of bills, like the phone bill or Internet bill? Thanks Mary Dear Mary That is quite safe. For other purchases, just use common sense. Is it a respectable company and cclose enough, so that you can visit them with a rolling pin? With distant companies I check to see if they accept PayPal. If they don't, then use extra caution. If they accept PayPal.then PayPal will fight for you, if there is a problem. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________
Balance Tricks, Soccer Skills & More
_____________________________________________ They call a bride's new husband a groom. A groom is also a term applied to a fellow who works in a stable. Does this mean a marriage should automatically be very stable. 0r is it that they expect you to have to yell so much you'll be a little horse? _____________________________________________ Melvin Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in the arms of another man. He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you got to be making love to my wife?" The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love with Fanny, and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a gambler. Why don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?" "Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little more interesting, why don't we also play for a dollar a point?" ____________________________________________ >From Connie In a Catholic elementary school, children were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. Among their responses were these quotes, offered here exactly as they were originally written and spelled: In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. ____________________________________________
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today February 19 in 1846 The formal transfer of government between Texas and the United States took place. Texas had officially become a state on December 29, 1845. 1856 The tintype camera was patented by Professor Hamilton L. Smith. 1878 Thomas Alva Edison patented a music player (the phonograph). 1881 Kansas became the first state to prohibit all alcoholic beverages. 1942 U.S. President Roosevelt signed an executive order giving the military the authority to relocate and intern Japanese-Americans. 1942 The New York Yankees announced that they would admit 5,000 uniformed servicemen free to each of their home ball games during the coming season. 1942 Approximately 150 Japanese warplanes attacked the Australian city of Darwin. 1945 During World War II, about 30,000 U.S. Marines landed on Iwo Jima. 1959 Cyprus was granted its independence with the signing of an agreement with Britain, Turkey and Greece. 1963 The Soviet Union informed U.S. President Kennedy it would withdraw "several thousand" of its troops in Cuba. 1981 The U.S. State Department called El Savador a "textbook case" of a Communist plot. 1981 Ford Motor Company announced its loss of $1.5 billion. 1985 Mickey Mouse was welcomed to China as part of the 30th anniversary of Disneyland. The touring mouse played 30 cities in 30 days. 1985 William Schroeder became the first artificial-heart patient to leave the confines of the hospital. 1985 Cherry Coke was introduced by the Coca-Cola Company. 1986 The U.S. Senate approved a treaty outlawing genocide. The pact had been submitted 37 years earlier for ratification. 1986 The Soviet Union launched the Mir space station. 1987 A controversial, anti-smoking publice service announcement aired for the first time on television. Yul Brynner filmed the ad shortly before dying of lung cancer. Brynner made it clear in the ad that he would have died from cigarette smoking before ad aired. 1997 Deng Xiaoping of China died at the age of 92. He was the last of China's major revolutionaries. 2002 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began using its thermal emission imaging system to map Mars. 2004 Former Enron Corp. chief executive Jeffrey Skilling was charged with fraud, insider trading and other crimes in connection with the energy trader's collapse. Skilling was later convicted and sentenced to more than 24 years in prison. 2005 The USS Jimmy Carter was commissioned at Groton, CT. It was the last of the Seawolf class of attack submarines. 2008 Fidel Castro resigned the Cuban presidency. His brother Raul was later named as his successor. 2020 Do smiled. 

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