Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 23 Today's Bonehead Award:  Florida man arrested after baby overdoses on heroin and Xanax  ______________________________________________________ Today, January 23 in 1950 The Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do. --- John Ruskin (1819 - 1900) "You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do." --- Olin Miller I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. --- Confucius ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, "I see, yes, go on, and I understand. How did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit! What happened next?' _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ An employee of the airport found a cell phone in one of the boarding areas. She switched it on, hoping a caller would identify the owner. It rang, and she answered it, but there was no response. When it rang a second time, another female employee answered, and the same thing happened. Moments later, a supervisor came by and picked up the ringing phone. "This is Bob. May I help you?" "Bob," the bewildered woman caller finally spoke. "Where is Bill, and who are those two women he's with?" ______________________________________________________   Franz Josef Land and Eira Lodge, left over from Benjamin Leigh Smith's expedition to what is now the Russian Arctic National Park _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Christopher Hartley, 33, Boynton Beach, Florida  Florida man arrested after baby overdoses on heroin and Xanax  A South Florida man was arrested for child neglect after an 11- month-old child ingested his heroin and Xanax pills on Tuesday. Deputies responded to Bethesda Hospital East on Tuesday regarding an infant who had ingested drugs. The child's mother said that she and 33-year-old Christopher Hartley were both drug addicts and were both in recovery for several years. She says approximately 6 months ago Hartley relapsed and has been using various drugs. On Tuesday, Hartley informed the mother that the child found his Xanax and heroin pills and ingested them. Hartley made an attempt to get the child to vomit the pills back up. The child's mother says he was lethargic and his breathing was slowed when she called 911. Hartley told deputies that he had heroin pills and a half of a Xanax pill wrapped inside tissue paper. He saw the child eating the tissue paper and found pills inside the child's mouth. Hartley says he put his fingers inside the child's mouth and removed 4 heroin pills. The child's condition is unknown. Hartley's relationship to the child is redacted from the arrest report.  
 From: Anna Re: Libre or Open Office?  Dear DearWebby, What is better, Office Libre or Open Office? Anna  Dear Anna The only difference I can find is that with Open Office you can install just one component, for example Calc, with no need to install all the others. With Libre you get the works, and can delete not needed parts later. If you are installing on a small camera chip, get Open Office. If you have plenty of room, install Libre Office. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss. After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The student received an "A" on the exam. ------------- My philosophy professors did not have any sense of humor, aside from letting me ad-lib and fake any and all answers. 
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 Little Johnny's dad was a farmer in a poor district of the country. One day his Uncle Abner came to visit. Since there were limited accommodations, he was required to sleep with his young nephew, Little Johnny. When Uncle Abner came into the bedroom, he saw Little Johnny kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed. Little Johnny looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?" "Why... The same thing you're doing," replied Uncle Abner. "Ma's gonna be mad," said Little Johnny. "Why will she be mad?" asked Uncle Abner. "Because the bed pan's on this side!" responded Little Johnny. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Preventing Soap Scum If you use liquid soap in your bath and shower instead of bar soap, you will not have as much soap scum. The paraffin in the solid soap helps cause the scum buildup  Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
 
 
The best of People are Awesome! 
 ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Doc for this story: At a veterans' meeting in Washington, D.C., a man approached me and asked, "Do you recognize me?" "Sure," I answered unconvincingly. "What did I do in the Army?" he challenged. With surprising presence of mind, I replied, "You did absolutely nothing." Astonished, he said, "You do remember me!" ___________________________________________________ On wall in the men's room: "My wife follows me everywhere." Written just below it: "I do not." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A Sunday-school teacher returning to work one day heard this little boy and girl quarreling with each other. It looked as if they might come to blows. "Children, why are you fighting so?" The little boy answered with an airy smile, "Why, teacher, we aren't quarreling really; we're just playing mother and father." ___________________________________________________  
 Today January 23 in 1556 An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, was thought to have killed about 830,000 people. 1571 The Royal Exchange in London, founded by financier Thomas Gresham, was opened by Queen Elizabeth I. 1789 Georgetown College was established as the first Catholic college in the U.S. The school is in Washington, DC. 1907 Charles Curtis, of Kansas, began serving in the United States Senate. He was the first American Indian to become a U.S. Senator. He resigned in March of 1929 to become U.S. President Herbert Hoover's Vice President. 1920 The Dutch government refused the demands from the Allies to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. 1937 In Moscow, seventeen people went on trial during Josef Stalin's "Great Purge." 1943 Duke Ellington and the band played for a black-tie crowd at Carnegie Hall in New York City for the first time. 1943 The British captured Tripoli from the Germans. 1950 The Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. 1960 The U.S. Navy bathyscape Trieste descended to a record depth of 35,820 feet (10,750 meters) in the Pacific Ocean. 1964 Ratification of the 24th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was completed. This amendment eliminated the poll tax in federal elections. 1968 North Korea seized the U.S. Navy ship Pueblo, charging it had intruded into the nation's territorial waters on a spying mission. The crew was released 11 months later. 1971 In Prospect Creek Camp, AK, the lowest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was reported as minus 80 degrees. 1973 U.S. President Nixon announced that an accord had been reached to lose the Vietnam War. 1974 Mike Oldfield's "Tubular Bells" opened the credits of the movie, "The Exorcist". 1977 The TV mini-series "Roots," began airing on ABC. The show was based on the Alex Haley novel. 1978 Sweden banned aerosol sprays because of damage to environment. They were the first country to do so. 1983 "The A-Team" debuted on TV. 1985 O.J. Simpson became the first Heisman Trophy winner to be elected to pro football's Hall of Fame in Canton, OH. 1989 Surrealist artist Salvador Dali died in Spain at age 84. 1997 A judge in Fairfax, VA, sentenced Mir Aimal Kasi to death for an assault rifle attack outside the CIA headquarters in 1993 that killed two men and wounded three other people. 1997 A British woman received a record 186,000 damages for Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). 2001 A van used by the remaining two fugitives of the "Texas 7" was recovered in Colorado Springs, CO. A few hours later police surrounded a hotel where the convicts were hiding. Patrick Murphy Jr. and Donald Newbury were taken into custody the next morning without incident. 2002 John Walker Lindh returned to the U.S. under FBI custody. Lindh was charged with conspiring to kill U.S. citizens, providing support to terrorists and engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban while a member of the al-Quaida terrorist organization in Afghanistan. 2003 North Korea announced that it would consider sanctions an act of war for North Korea's reinstatement of its nuclear program. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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