Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, September 20 Canada VOTE! ____________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Drunk woman drags daughter with her vehicle  ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 20 in 1870 The Papal States came under the control of Italian troops, leading to the unification of Italy. ____________________________________________________ People care more about being thought to have taste than about being thought either good, clever or amiable. --- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902) It's useless trying to hold a person to anything s/he says while s/he's in love, drunk or running for office. --- Socratex ____________________________________________________ The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum. "I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking." "No problem," the patient said patiently. "I'm sure by tomorrow some doctor will sober up. I'm still a bit tired from that operation anyway." ____________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Erin Garcia, 44, Placentia, USA  Drunk woman drags daughter with her vehicle  The Placentia Police Department in California wrote in a press release published on Friday that 44-year-old Erin Garcia was visiting her mother's home with her daughter when she decided to leave despite her apparent intoxication. Police said the child was concerned about her mom driving drunk and followed her to the vehicle, grabbing the passenger door handle and urging her mom to stop. Police reported that Garcia looked at the child and proceeded to drive away, dragging the girl alongside the vehicle for approximately 300 feet. A male bystander and Garcias grandmother had attempted to stop Garcia and get her out of the vehicle. But Garcia drove away and dragged the man with her for a short distance before leaving the scene, police said. Police said they responded to the grandmothers house shortly after where they located Garcia hiding behind some bushes in the backyard. Officers attempted to take Garcia into custody but she resisted, kicking the officers. The child and bystander were taken to a nearby hospital with moderate injuries. Garcia was taken into custody, transferred to Orange County Jail and charged with assault with a deadly weapon, child endangerment and battery against a peace officer.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Jenny Re: Other Open Office programs Dear Webby, I have seen spreadsheets done with Open Office Calc. If I didn't know that my dad does NOT have Microsoft Office, I would not have known. The results are identical. When I ask him what other free programs are in that, he just laughs and says:"Every Ting!" So, what else is free? Jenny  Dear Jenny I like your father! "Every Ting!" Their word processor is called WRITER. It doesn't just do letters. You can write eBooks with it, and even save them in PDF format, ready to sell them online. Or regular books, ready to publish. You can even make fillable forms. Just about anything you need, except for a rich boyfriend, is in there somewhere. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun had made a note, "take only one, god is watching," moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One of the boys had written a note, "take all you want, god is watching the apples." ____________________________________________ murphy's technology law #347: technology is regulated by those who manage what they do not understand. ____________________________________________ a noted psychiatrist was a guest at a national organization for women gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'captain cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' The woman thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "you wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must confess i don't know much about history." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, Sept 20, in 1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain to find a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan was killed during the trip, but one of his ships eventually made the journey. 1870 The Papal States came under the control of Italian troops, leading to the unification of Italy. 1884 The Equal Rights Party was formed in San Francisco, CA. 1921 KDKA in Pittsburgh, PA, started a daily radio newscast. It was one of the first in the U.S. 1946 The first Cannes Film Festival premiered. The original premier was delayed in 1939 due to World War II. 1946 WNBT-TV in New York became the first station to promote a motion picture. Scenes from "The Jolson Story" were shown. 1962 James Meredith, a black student, was blocked from enrolling at the University of Mississippi by Governor Ross R. Barnett. Meredith was later admitted. 1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy proposed a joint U.S.- Soviet expedition to the moon in a speech to the U.N. General Assembly. 1967 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was launched. It went out of service on November 27, 2008. 1977 The first of the "boat people" arrived in San Francisco from Southeast Asia under a new U.S. resettlement program. 1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan announced that the U.S., France, and Italy were going to send peacekeeping troops back to Beirut. 1989 F.W. de Klerk was sworn in as president of South Africa. 1991 U.N. weapons inspectors left for Iraq in a renewed search for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. 1992 French voters approved the Maastricht Treaty. 1995 AT&T announced that it would be splitting into three companies. The three companies were AT&T, Lucent Technologies, and NCR Corp. 1995 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide their own speed limits. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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