Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 2 What really surprised me was that Broom Hilda made absolutely no comment in the phony Kavenaugh accusation circus. Does she too already know it will seriously backfire? When the shit hits the fan, she will be high and dry and smiling. Did anybody notice that while the Anti-American media was imitating a herd of hysterical chihuahuas outside of the fence where the cat sleeps, trying desperately to slander Kavanaugh, Trump quietly renegotiated NAFTA and even got Trudeau to sign. NAFTA is saved! Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Man arrested for human trafficking when teen escapes to restaurant  ______________________________________________________ Today, October 2 in 1962 U.S. ports were closed to nations that allowed their ships to carry arms to Cuba, ships that had docked in a socialist country were prohibited from docking in the United States during that voyage, and the transport of U.S. goods was banned on ships owned by companies that traded with Cuba. Bernie is still a Socialist. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. --- John Adams (1735 - 1826) Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius. --- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930) ______________________________________________________ Lisa and Linda are walking down the street. Lisa finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says linda. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course you have, silly! It's me!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ While rummaging through his attic a man found a shoe-repair ticket that was five years old. Figuring that he had nothing to lose, he went to the shop and presented the ticket to the pro- prietor, who reluctantly began a search for the unclaimed shoes. After ten minutes, the owner reappeared and handed back the ticket. "Well," asked the customer, "did you find the shoes?" "Yes," replied the owner, "they'll be ready Tuesday." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "Son, I just know you'll do the right thing by this little girl," said the preacher. "You just marry her, and you'll be at the end of your troubles." So he did the right thing, and he married the girl, and about six months later when he saw the preacher again he tried to murder him. "You miserable liar!" shouted the young man. "You told me if I married her, I would be at the end of my troubles. Well, I married her, and she has made my life miserable." "That may be true, son, but you can't blame me," replied the minister. "I said you'd be at the end of your troubles, but I never said which end." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick McManus, 25, Charlotte, North Carolina Man arrested for human trafficking w hen teen escapes to restaurant Andre Davis said he was working at Captain D's in Charlotte, North Carolina, when a 17-year-old girl ran inside. Police said 25-year-old Patrick McManus has been arrested after he reportedly forced the teenage girl into his car and assaulted her. McManus is charged with kidnapping and human trafficking. He was following her, and my manager told him, 'No, you're not allowed in the girls' bathroom,' Davis said. Everybody was panicking. They didn't know if he had a gun. Like, it was crazy in here." Police said they were called to a motel on Reagan Drive around 4:50 p.m. Friday for a report of a 17-year-old who had been assaulted and kidnapped. Officers said the victim and suspect left before they arrived. Officers were then called to the Captain D's around 5:38 p.m. The 911 caller said a woman who had been kidnapped was inside the restaurant. Police said officers located the victim and McManus, who was arrested on the scene. "The manager grabbed cleaning supplies to act like she was cleaning the bathroom the whole time when I was on the phone with police," Davis said. The Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department's Human Trafficking Unit was brought in to investigate and found the 17-year-old victim had known McManus for less than a week. Police said the girl told them she was staying at the nearby Royal Inn, where McManus was also staying. Court documents show the teen said McManus told her he loved her, but he was physically abusive and forced her into prostitution so he could buy drugs. That's crazy, Davis said. "At a young age, that's real, that's real bad." The girl told detectives that McManus demanded she work as a prostitute to earn him money. She said when she refused, he threatened and assaulted her. She told police she lied to McManus and tried to hide, but he found her, choked her and forced her into his car while he was holding a Taser. The victim was taken to a hospital for non-life-threatening injuries. "Nobody would want that to happen to their kid, Davis said. Detectives said the teen put up a fight for more than 2 miles and attempted to jump out of the moving car. "About a minute after I got off the phone, the police (were) here, Davis said. Police said McManus was being taken to the Mecklenburg County Jail after his interview when he was able to move his handcuffed hands to the front of his body and assault the officer who was driving. Police said he spit on two officers that responded and kicked the patrol car door. McManus was eventually restrained. Police said McManus had minor injuries after the incident and was taken to Novant Health for evaluation. McManus is charged with kidnapping, human trafficking, assault on a female, assault by strangulation, assault on a government official, damage to property, two counts of malicious conduct by a prisoner, resisting and promoting prostitution. He is in jail on a $120,000 bond.
From Helen Re: Outgoing mystery stuff Dear Webby, Norton keeps alerting me that WINTOOLS.EXE and IEXPLORESKINS.EXE are attempting to access the internet. They are both listed as Medium Risk. Since I don't know what they are, I have come to the master to ask if I should permanently block them or if they are useful and should be allowed. Thanks once again for you help! Helen
Dear Helen If medium risk (or any risk) stuff is trying to get from your machine out onto the Internet, then obviously your machine is infected with them. I don't use Norton because it doesn't stop stuff like that from coming in in the first place. Try running Spybot-Search&Destroy, update it to it's newest version, and see if that will find those things. To me they sound a lot more like malicious spyware than viruses, and just want to report your bra size, weight, visa numbers and stuff like that. Please let me know if Spybot-Search&Destroy catches them or if you need even bigger ammunition for that. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thanks to Ross for this story: A Welsh farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking out of a pond. The Welsh farmer shouted: "Paid a yfed a dwr, maer gwerthin wedi cachu un a for." This means: Don't drink the water the cows have dumped into it." The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English." The Welsh farmer says: "Use two hands, they hold more!"
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Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Costume: Ninja! Wear all black with a black sash to wear as a belt. Cut a hole big enough for your eyes in black fabric and tie it loosely around your head. Children should also be outfitted with reflective tape on the front and back if they are going to be trick-or-treating outside. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Ames window optical illusion.
___________________________________________________ A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..." " "Fred," she answered. "I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?" "Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over." "Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried. "Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Montana." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A man was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the newspaper during breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player, who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives" His wife said, "Why, thank you, dear!" ____________________________________________________
 Today, October 2 in 1492 King Henry VII of England invaded France. 1780 British army major John Andre was hanged as a spy. He was carrying information about the actions of Benedict Arnold. 1835 The first battle of the Texas Revolution took place near the Guadalupe River when American settlers defeated a Mexican cavalry unit. 1836 Charles Darwin returned to England after 5 years of acquiring knowledge around the world about fauna, flora, wildlife and geology. He used the information to develop his "theory of evolution" which he unveiled in his 1859 book entitled The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection. 1870 Rome was made the capital of Italy. 1876 The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas opened. It was the state's first venture into public higher education. The school was formally dedicated 2 days later by Texas Gov. Richard Coke. 1924 The Geneva Protocol adopted the League of Nations. 1925 Scottish inventor John Logie Baird completed the first transmission of moving images. 1937 Warner Bros. released "Love Is on the Air." Ronald Reagan made his acting debut in the motion picture. He was 26 years old. 1941 Operation Typhoon was launched by Nazi Germany. The plan was an all-out offensive against Moscow. 1944 The Nazis crushed the Warsaw Uprising. 1947 The Federatino Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA) formally established Formula One racing in Grand Prix competition. 1950 "Peanuts," the comic strip created by Charles M. Schulz, was published for the first time in seven newspapers. 1958 Guinea, the French colony in West Africa, proclaimed its independence. Sekou Toure was the first president of the Republic of Guinea. 1962 U.S. ports were closed to nations that allowed their ships to carry arms to Cuba, ships that had docked in a socialist country were prohibited from docking in the United States during that voyage, and the transport of U.S. goods was banned on ships owned by companies that traded with Cuba. 1967 Thurgood Marshall was sworn in. He was the first African- American member of the U.S. Supreme Court. 1988 Pakistan's Supreme Court ordered free elections. 1989 In Leipzig, East Germany a protest took place demanding the legalization of opposition groups and the adoption of democratic reforms. 1990 The Allies ceded their rights to areas they occupied in Germany. 1993 Opponents of Russian President Boris Yeltsin fought police and set up burning barricades. 1998 Hawaii sued petroleum companies, claiming state drivers were overcharged by about $73 million a year in price-fixing. 1998 About 10,000 Turkish soldiers crossed into northern Iraq and attacked Kurdish rebels. 2001 NATO, for the first time, invoked a treaty clause that stated that an attack on one member is an attack on all members. The act was in response to the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in the United States. 2015 The reorganization of Google into Alphabet Inc. was completed. Alphabet became the parent company of Google and several other companies previosly owned by Google. 2018 Do smiled. 

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