Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, Oct 23 My gorgeous Diabetic Nurse managed to get me an appointment at the Retina Center in Calgary. The girl at the appointment phone is a juvenile high speed mumbler that a senior like me has no chance to understand. Zoe got through and got me an appointment for tomorrow, Oct 24. I am way overdue for injections, so I am looking forward to seeing reasonably well again by the end of the week. I won't be able to send out newsletters on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. __________________________________________________  ______________________________________________________ History: Today, Oct 23, in 1971, The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat Communist China. __________________________________________________ Q There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. --- Salvador Dali (1904 - 1989) ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ BONEHEAD AWARD Polish man poses as mannequin in storefront, goes on stealing spree after mall closes _______________________________________________________ A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?" The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!" ________________________________________________________   Amethyst _______________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ Bambi sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Bambi, "I have been having a funny pain right here above the heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said Bambi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?" _________________________________________________   Emerald Lake, AB ___________________________________________________ A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months leave, during which time he would be fully paid. However, he turned down his boss' kind offer. The boss asked, "Why would you turn down such a generous offer?" The newspaper writer said there were 2 reasons. "Well, what are they?" asked the boss. "The first," he said, "is that I thought that my taking such a long leave might affect the newspaper's circulation." The boss asked him what the other reason was. "The other reason," replied the writer, "is that I thought my taking such a long leave might NOT affect the newspaper's circulation." ___________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Jasmine RE: Outlook Dear Webby I keep getting these mails telling me my Outlook mail is full or not active. I have not used that piece of crap since it stole all my mail in the 90s. What is the story there? Jasmine Olga Dear Jasmine As far as I know, Outlook has long gone to hell. What you get is from some scammers, who are using the adreses, that they harvested from Outlook or Outlook depressed. Just make a filter to dump anything with Outlook in the body of the mail. Don't bother to write them that they should go s**k a Billy Toat. That would just prove, that your email address is active. Just dump it and forget it. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them. Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. It's me, and don't call the one in the third column. That is your mother, lying about her age, and the one on the next page, that is your nutty sister." ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time? A: Because they were originally made for children but it's the fathers who want to play with them. ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock  Shoplifter Poland  Polish man poses as mannequin in storefront, goes on stealing spree after mall closes  An alleged thief found a clever way to hide from authorities in Poland posing in a store window as a mannequin. "A 22-year-old with a bag in his hand froze motionless, pretending to be a mannequin in front of a shop window," police said in a translated statement. "In this way, he wanted to avoid being exposed by the cameras." Police said that the clever thief posed in the window display motionless until the mall store closed. Once the last customer had left and the mall doors were secure, the man broke from his stance and robbed a jewelry stand, police said. Authorities said that the thief came back for round two on "another occasion." This time, he "ate his fill" at one of the food stations before stealing a new outfit. Afterward, he returned to have some more food. Polish authorities said that eventually the man's "luck ran out" and he was noticed by mall security guards. He was arrested and police said that he could face up to 10 years in prison. This was not the man's first time stealing from a shopping mall, according to police. Police said that he took money from a cash register and attempted to steal other items after it closed. ____________________________________________ Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!" _________________________________________________ History On Oct 23, in 1864, During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Gen. Samuel R. Curtis defeated the Confederate forces in Missouri that were under Gen. Stirling Price. 1910, Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a public solo airplane flight in the United States. 1915, The first U.S. championship horseshoe tourney was held in Kellerton, IA. 1915, Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote with a march in New York City, NY. 1929, In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression. 1930, J.K. Scott won the first miniature golf tournament. The event was held in Chattanooga, TN. 1942, During World War II, the British began a major offensive against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt. 1944, During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began. 1946, The United Nations General Assembly convened in New York for the first time. 1956, Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary with tanks and eventually suppress the uprising. More than 100,000 Hungarians fled to Austria. 1956, NBC broadcasted the first videotape recording. The tape of Jonathan Winters was seen coast to coast in the U.S. 1958, Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the honor due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the award for writing "Dr. Zhivago". 1962, During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval "quarantine" of Cuba was approved by the Council of the Organization of American States (OAS). 1962, The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon." 1971, The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat Communist China. 1973, U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair. 1978, China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility when they exchanged treaty ratifications. 1980, The resignation of Soviet Premier Alexei N. Kosygin was announced. 1984, "NBC Nightly News" aired footage of the severe drought in Ethiopia. 1985, U.S. President Reagan arrived in New York to address the U.N. General Assembly. 1989, Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years of Soviet rule. 1992, Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese emperor to stand on Chinese soil. 1995, Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn Bosnia. 1998, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a land-for-peace West Bank accord. 1998, Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II. 2000, Universal Studios Consumer Products Group (USCPG) and Amblin Entertainment announced an unprecedented and exclusive three-year worldwide merchandising program with Toys "R" Us, Inc. The deal was for the rights to exclusive "E.T. The Extra- Terrestrial" merchandise starting in fall 2001. The film was scheduled for re-release in the spring of 2002. 2001, NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In 2010, it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

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