Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, August 7 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Serial killer accidentally kills himself while masturbating with electricity Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, August 7 in 1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six- man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist. --- Harrison Ford (1942 - ) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ While on leave, my Marine buddy and I met two nursing students from Southern California. After chatting them up awhile, the conversation turned to what we did in the service. When we told them we were in the infantry, the girls seemed very impressed, giving us big smiles as they told us how sweet that was. Since infantry and sweet are seldom used in the same sentence, I was a little confused. Until, that is, one of the girls said, "We admire any man who works with infants." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by  Egidius Schiffer Bochum, Germany  Serial killer accidentally kills himself while masturbating with electricity in cell  A serial killer jailed for the murder of five women has been found dead in his cell after hooking up an electric current to his nipples and penis. Egidius Schiffer, dubbed the Aechen Strangler, is believed to have killed himself accidentally whilst masturbating with electric shocks at Bochum Prison in Germany. He was found dead on Sunday with a table lamp chord attached to his body parts while the other end was plugged into an electric socket. Schiffer murdered five hitchhikers between 1983 and 1990 and was sentenced to life imprisonment, according to The Times. A Bochum Prison spokeswoman Candida Tunkel said: He removed a cable from his bedside table lamp, then wound it around his nipples and his penis and stuck the end in a power socket. Schiffer died from heart failure after an electric current flowed through his chest and his death was likely the result of an accident rather than a suicidal incident, officials said. He was being held in solitary confinement and last seen alive at 1pm on Saturday. Schiffer was jailed 18 years after his last murder after DNA evidence linked him to the killing in 2008. He was caught because he had given a DNA sample to police after being suspected of stealing scrap metal. His five victims were all women, aged between 15 and 31, and he had raped three of them. ------------ Knowing electricity, I would say he must have had some help. Unlike the Direct Current used in tasers, household current is Alternating Current, which does not paralyze. It would have made him jump like the proverbial African Magician and would have torn the wires off his body just from involuntary movements. You have probably seen all the belts and straps used on Electric Chairs, because of the involuntary movements due to Alternating Current. He would have had to have a bunch of people sitting on him, to be still for the 5 seconds required to stop his heart. Well, it makes no difference. He is in hell now. 
  From Fran Re: Selective screen capture  Dear Webby, think you might have answered this before, but I can't find it. How do I capture just the active window, not the entire screen ? Thanks Fran   Dear Fran Try ALT and the PrintScreen key. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 Do is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool. "You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to have to report you." "But everyone pees in the pool," said Do. "Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!" 
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 A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!" "Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Friends and Family Mailing Lists  Consider setting up an email discussion list to help stay in touch with friends and family. It can be a great way to post announcements with family members all over the world.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
The new Silk Road 
 ___________________________________________________ Two Canadians are driving in Texas. A Texas Ranger notices out of the country plates and turns on the lights and pulls them over. Officer walks over to the car, the driver rolls down his window and the officer takes his billy club and whacks the driver on the back of the head. The Canadian driver asks what that was for. The officer says, "This is Texas, boy, when you see these flashing lights to pull you over, you gets your insurance, license and registration ready, don't make me wait!" The officer checks them out and returns the documents. Then the officer walks over to the other side of the car and taps his wand on the glass, the passenger rolls down his window and the officer whacks him in the head. "What was that for", the Canadian Passenger asks. "Boy", I just made your wishes come true,"says the officer. "What does that mean" asks the passenger. "Well, you boys are going to get five miles down the road and you're going to say, "Boy, I wish that dumb cop had tried that with me!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A tenderfoot scout is on his first camping trip. As soon as he has pitched his tent, he goes for a hike in the woods. In about 15 minutes, however, he rushes back into camp, bruised, bleeding and disheveled. "What happened?" asks his patrol leader. "I was chased by a black snake," the frightened boy cries. The older boy smiles. "A black snake isn't deadly," he says "Hey," the tenderfoot groans. "If it can make you jump off a 150-foot cliff, it is." ____________________________________________________  
 Today, August 7 in 1782 George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart. 1888 Theophilus Van Kannel received a patent for the revolving door. 1914 Germany invaded France. 1928 The U.S. Treasure Department issued a new bill that was one third smaller than the previous U.S. bills. 1934 The U.S. Court of Appeals upheld a lower court ruling striking down the government's attempt to ban the controversial James Joyce novel "Ulysses." 1942 U.S. forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start of the first major official allied offensive in the Pacific during World War II. There had been many inofficial battles earlier, which had prompted the Japanese to "retaliate" at Pearl harbor. 1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six- man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. 1959 The U.S. launched Explorer 6, which sent back a picture of the Earth. 1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all religious TV and radio broadcasts. 1964 The U.S. Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, which gave President Johnson broad powers in dealing with reported North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. forces. 1974 French stuntman Philippe Petit walked a tightrope strung between the twin towers of New York's World Trade Center. 1976 Scientists in Pasadena, CA, announced that the Viking 1 spacecraft had found strong indications of possible life on Mars. 1983 AT&T employees went on strike. 1987 The presidents of five Central American nations, met in Guatemala City, and signed an 11-point agreement designed to bring peace to their region. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered U.S. troops and warplanes to Saudi Arabia to guard against a possible invasion by Iraq. 1999 Tony Gwynn (San Diego Padres) got his 3,000th hit of his major league career. 2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he would run for the office of governor. 2003 Stephen Geppi bought a 1963 G.I. Joe prototype for $200,000. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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