Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 17  ___________________________________________________ History on this day, October 17, in 1777, American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Suspect arrested for 6 murders in Stockton, CA  ____________________________________________________ Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation. --- Walter Winchell (1897 - 1972) You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. --- Doris Egan, House M.D., ___________________________________________________ >From Bill Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink beer. ____________________________________________________ Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. __________________________________________________  Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Suspect arrested for 6 murders in Stockton, CA   Wesley Brownlee, 43, Stockton, California, USA Stockton authorities said on Saturday an arrest has been made linked to the six murders in California. Stockton Police Chief Stanley McFadden, City Manager Harry Black and Mayor Kevin Lincoln made the announcement in a joint press conference regarding the homicide series investigation. Police say Wesley Brownlee, 43, was arrested as he was driving at 2 a.m. on Saturday. He's the prime suspect in six fatal shootings, including of one man in Oakland. A seventh shooting victim survived. McFadden believes Brownlee was preparing to kill again. "He was on a mission to kill. He was out hunting," said McFadden. "As officers made contact with him, he was wearing dark clothing and wearing a mask around his neck. He was also armed with a firearm when he was taken into custody. We are sure we stopped another killing." Stockton police say ballistics tests linked the suspect to all seven shootings. Five of the shootings took place after July 8. Chief Mcfadden says tips from the community helped determine where Brownlee lived. Brownlee is a Stockton resident, who lives close to one of the crime scenes. "We maintained eyes on that residence, until he became mobile. Once he became mobile, that's when we started to continue to follow him until we eventually took him off, where we identified he is posing a threat," McFadden said. _____________________________________________________ Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator). _____________________________________________________   Horny Cariboo _________________________________________________ Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars, beer, or hockey. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________   Lynx _________________________________________________ Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. _________________________________________________  Dearwebby's tech support pits From:Bill Re: Password a file Dear Webby This is the third time I have tried to contact you. I thought I would try your "911" address. This is a copy of my first attempt: Do you know of an easy way to secure a file, e.g. notepad, with a password on much cursed W10? I didnt find anything useful on searching the net. I hate to bother you, but you have always responded previously. All the best. Bill  Dear Bill You can Password protect Windows 10 files and folders Using File Explorer. Right-click on a file or folder you want password protected. Click on Properties at the bottom of the context menu Click on Advanced Select Encrypt contents to secure data and click on Apply. Youl be prompted to back up your encryption key, you'll need it if you lose access to your encrypted files. Applies to All Windows 10 Versions Have Fun! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. ___________________________________________________ Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it---looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________  today, october 17, in 1739, Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and deserted young children" in Londond, England. 1777, American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 1888, The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was released at newsstands. 1931, Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 1933, Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after leaving Germany. 1945, Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina after staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 1973, The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) began an oil-embargo against several countries including the U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western support of Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on October 6, 1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974. 1978, U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 1979, Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 1987, U.S. First Lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified radical mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland. 1989, An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion. 1994, Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 1994, The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty that ended their 19 years of civil war. 1997, The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in Bolivia. 2000, In New York City, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum opened to the public. The 42nd Street location joined Tussaud's other exhibitions already in London, Hong Kong, Amsterdam and Las Vegas. 2000, Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) achieved his 448th victory as a goalie in the NHL. Roy passed Terry Sawchuck to become the record holder for career victories. 2001, Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to avenge the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier. 2001, Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of troop movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir. India said that the movements were part of a normal troop rotation. 2001, Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by the terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8, 2002. 2003, In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a drug, known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's symptoms. 2003, In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676- foot-tall-building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open for business in 2004. 2022 Do! smiled. 

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