Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Dixie!! Today is Friday, January 28 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 28, in 1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian diplomatic passports. The Americans had been hidden at the Canadian embassy in Tehran. ___________________________________________________ Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens. --- Nick Diamos To be pleased with one's limits is a wretched state. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) ___________________________________________________ Do and a friend were invited to a pot- luck party. Everybody brought a dish. When it came time to serve dessert, the person who prepared it, said the recipe was called "Better Than Sex Cake." After Do's friend tasted it, she blurted out, "I sure feel sorry for the person who named this dessert." ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Florida man charged with attempted murder after strangling woman at bus stop ____________________________________________________ Skunk, Alberta ____________________________________________________ "Electricity originates inside clouds. There, it forms into lightning, which is attracted to the Earth by golfers. After entering the ground, the electricity hardens into coal, which, when dug up by power companies and burned in big ovens called 'generators,' turns back into electricity. The power company sells it to consumers who use TV sets to transform it into commercials for beer, which passes through the consumers and back into the ground, thus completing what is known as a 'circus.'" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aaron Quinones, 27, Miami-Dade County, Florida, USA Florida man charged with attempted murder after strangling woman at bus stop Aaron Quinones, 27, is being charged with attempted felony murder after allegedly strangling a 27-year-old female at a bus stop in Miami-Dade County on Sunday morning at 11:02 a.m. A news release by the Miami-Dade County Police Department alleges that the female was waiting for a bus when Quinones began to strangle her from behind with a shoelace. According to police, Quinones beat the female repeatedly as she tried to defend herself from the attack. A video provided to Fox News Digital shows that an individual stepped in to stop the attacker from beating the female. After the good samaritan intervened in the attack, police say that Quinones fled from the area. The good samaritan was not at the scene when law enforcement officials arrived. The female victim was treated by Miami-Dade Fire Rescue on the scene of the incident, and police officers in the area were able to arrest Quinones. Quinones is being held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on a $250,000 bond. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Dee Re: PayPal vs cards I love your humor letter! Not only are the jokes funny but the computer questions you have answered over the years have helped me tremendously. I want to donate but don't trust the internet - I never did much but really don't now! If I click on Donate Now and fill that out using a credit card, YOU will get it and my credit card info won't be out in cyber space floating around, right? Thanks for the wonderful job you do each day in making it better for all of us! From a long time subscriber and a fossil! Dee Dear Dee! Yes, using PayPal to safeguard your data is a very good idea. If you sent anything today, it might be waiting for you to hit SEND. When it arrives, I will send you a Thank You mail, and also put a Thank You on the top of the Humor Letter. Have FUN! DearWebby Two elderly men were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ed noticed something funny about Joe's ear. He said, "Joe did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" "I have? A suppository?" He pulled it out and stared at it. Then he said: "Ed, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is..." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Jimmmie came home from school one day, all banged up, bloodied, and bruised. His father asked him what happened and Jimmie said, "Well, dad, it's like this. I challenged Larry to a duel and you know how that goes . . . I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh huh," said the father. "That seems fair." "I know . . . but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!" ______________________________________________ A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact,I've discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards farther than I could my last ones." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could deliver their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to talk to him. The doctor said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. The bad news is that it is a cesarean." Ole started crying, and said, "Vel, I'm glad it is a healthy baby, but I vas kinda hoping it vould be Svedish!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 28, in 1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer Luther was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church. 1547 England's King Henry VIII died. He was succeeded by his 9 year-old son, Edward VI. 1788 The first British penal settlement was founded at Botany Bay. 1807 London's Pall Mall became the first street lit by gaslight. 1871 France surrendered in the Franco-Prussian War. 1878 The first telephone switchboard was installed in New Haven, CT. 1909 The United States ended direct control over Cuba. 1915 The Coast Guard was created by an act of the U.S. Congress to fight contraband trade and aid distressed vessels at sea. 1916 Louis D. Brandeis was appointed by President Wilson to the U.S. Supreme Court, becoming its first Jewish member. 1918 The Bolsheviks occupied Helsinki, Finland. 1935 Iceland became the first country to introduce legalized abortion. 1945 During World War II, Allied supplies began reaching China over the newly reopened Burma Road. 1958 Construction began on first private thorium-uranium nuclear reactor. 1965 General Motors reported the biggest profit of any U.S. company in history. 1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian diplomatic passports. The Americans had been hidden at the Canadian embassy in Tehran. 1982 Italian anti-terrorism forces rescued U.S. Brigadier General James L. Dozier. 42 days before he had been kidnapped by the Red Brigades. 1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed. 1998 In Manilla, Philippines, gunmen held at least 400 children and teachers for several hours at an elementary school. 1999 Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's Volvo AB for $6.45 billion. 2002 Toys R Us Inc. announced that it would be closing 27 Toys R Us stores and 37 Kids R Us stores in order to cut costs and boost operating profits. 2021 Do smiled. |
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