Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, April 3 We got a blizzard going on right now. Three inches of snow and getting deeper. We are supposed to get our first rain of the year on the weekend, almost an inch. That will wash away the winter's dust. Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Atlanta man arrested for arson, that destroyed major overpass. Details at  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 3 in 1860 The first Pony Express riders left St. Joseph, MO and Sacramento, CA. The trip across country took about 10 days. The Pony Express only lasted about a year and a half. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ There is always a well-known solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. --- Dorothy Parker ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ >From Liz I got a message that there had been a call from "Josh" at the bank regarding my account. So, I called my bank and the operator asked me what Josh's last name was and I explained that he hadn't left his last name. When she asked for his department, I said that I didn't know. "There are 1500 employees in this building, Sir!," she told me rather sharply. So I asked her for her name. "Danielle," she said. "And your last name?" I asked. "Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names." "Well, in that case," I replied, "tell the Josh with no last name and no department to send me an email." And hung up. ------------ Sounds like my bank used to be. Now they have some Taliban playing stupid and being useless. When they call me I tell them I can't hear them, and that they should send me an email. They never do. They always figure out their problem without my help. That seems to be easier than finding somebody, who knows how to send an email. ______________________________________________________ On a flight I was on, this elderly woman kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the wing tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time." ______________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Billy-Bob and Bubba were driving a semi down a road when they came to an overpass. The sign said 10 feet zero inches, so they got out to measure their truck. Unfortunately, the truck was just over 12 feet high. They didn't know what to do, when finally Bubba looked in both directions and said, "I don't see any cops, let's go for it!" ______________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Basil Eleby, 39, Atlanta, Georgia  Basil Eleby Charged With First-Degree Arson in Atlanta blaze  The man accused of starting a massive fire that collapsed a crucial stretch of highway north of downtown Atlanta has been charged with arson. Basil Eleby, 39, was in court Saturday to face charges of first-degree arson and first-degree criminal damage to property in connection with the Thursday blaze, which caused an elevated portion of Interstate 85 to crumble. Eleby Has an Extensive Criminal History & Was Previously Arrested 19 Times Eleby, who remains in Fulton County Jail on a $200,000 bond, was arrested Friday along with Sophia Bruner and Barry Thomas, both of whom were charged with criminal trespass. "We believe they were together when the fire was set and Eleby is the one who set the fire," Jay Florence, deputy commissioner of the state Department of Insurance, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Investigators believe the trio may be homeless. The inferno broke out during rush hour Thursday, quickly devouring construction materials that had been stored underneath the overpass. At around 7 p.m. ET, the bridge gave way in a flaming heap that spewed thick, black smoke that could be seen from miles away. Russell R. McMurry, the commissioner of the Georgia Department of Transportation, said Friday the fire was started in an area used as a storage location for "surplus construction materials," such as polyvinyl chloride (PVC) piping. McMurry said it would take several months to rebuild. "That is no small feat," he told reporters Friday, "but we're up to the challenge." The U.S. Department of Transportation has released $10 million in emergency release funds to the state to kick- start the rebuilding process. No one was injured in the bridge collapse, authorities said Friday. But the dramatic incident snarled traffic around one of the busiest stretches of roadway in America, and Gov. Nathan Deal declared a state of emergency for Fulton County. "This is about as serious a transportation crisis as we can imagine," Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed said late Thursday as commuters scrambled to find new routes home. Officials have said more than 225,000 vehicles pass through the affected area on an average weekday. Authorities do not know how or why Eleby started the fire. Florence said details would be released as the investigation goes forward. Those overpasses are a semi-sanctioned suburb for the homeless, just like in many major cities. To get the homeless out of the business and residential areas, they are tolerated under the overpasses and not hassled there. The problem is that there is no garbage pick-up and a lot of flammable material accumulates. Eleby was observed setting a big, stuffed chair on fire, and that in turn set the stacks of PVC pipes on fire. It is not known yet whether Eleby had planned to use the chair to set the piping on fire, or whether he just wanted to burn the chair. Quite likely this incident will cause many major cities to reconsider allowing their overpasses to be used as sanctuary suburbs for the urban campers to keep them out of residential and commercial areas, and if they should conduct occasional clean-up and garbage pick-up in those areas.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Elvira Re: PDF editor Dear Webby On my last machine I used to have a nice PDF editor, but that is gone with that old hard drive. I wasted a day trying to find that one or one like it, but now they all are just phony crap, pretending to be free, but then demanding $60 or more if you want to actually use them. Plus, they are crap that I would not pay $5 for. All I need is something to fill out the occasional forms because my handwriting is getting a bit jittery. Isn't there a good alternative out there? Elvira  Dear Elvira There sure is! Yes, all the PDF editors advertised as "Free Download" are indeed phony crap. And I agree, I would not pay $5 for any of them either, never mind $60 or $90 or even more. I use Nitro READER, and have for many years. It is not advertised, just word of mouth from friend to friend. Nitro READER is not just for reading or for form filling. I have even used it for converting ordinary huge docs docs to eBooks. Nitro also works the other way around. You can convert a PDF file to a Word document! You can get it at Nitro You can create PDFs from virtually any Windows application and from over 300 formats. Drag and drop files to instantly create a PDF. Customize your PDFs with tools like custom colors, font- embedding, page size, orientation and output quality or keep it simple with preset options. Convert to plain text Extract images and tons more. They do have a PRO version, but most likely you will be quite pleasantly surprised with the free version. Have FUN! DearWebby    Do, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." Do knocked. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?", Do asked. The woman glanced at Dos shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. " No!" she said rather sternly. "Could I have a pint of ale?" "No!" she said again. "Could I at least sleep in your stable?" "No!" By this time she was shouting. Do asked, "Might I please...?" "What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently. "D'ye suppose," Do asked, "I might have a word with George?" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Smoke Off Walls Kitchen fires, candles and other occurrences can leave smoke residue on your walls. This is a guide about cleaning smoke off walls. By likekinds [244 Posts, 1,143 Comments] I can tell you how I would do it. First, I would get a fan large enough to keep the area well ventilated, place it where it is most effective and turn it on. Next, I would fill a large, clean, empty spray bottle with household ammonia. Add nothing to the ammonia, certainly not bleach. Any type of cleanser added would just cause you to have to rinse and would not improve the effectiveness of the ammonia. With plenty of clean rags handy, start spraying the ammonia at the bottom most area of smoke damage. You will quickly learn just how much to spray and how many seconds to wait before wiping. It needs to stay on the wall 2-3 seconds, but not long enough to run down the wall. From this point, work your way up the wall, either rinsing your rag in clear water often or switching to an unused one. How much ammonia, time and labor is involved depends on the amount of damage. Other suggestions were to use Spray9 or Grease Lightning.  
  
Foot Juggling 
 ____________________________________________________ On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it that said: "Broken." A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building. "What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter and snapping a picture with his phone. "There's plenty of time left!" ___________________________________________________  
 
Start your week with a smile with animal funnies. 
 John was talking to George "So, George, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?" "Yep," George shook his head. "Whenever I mention sex, they object." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's News
 No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today on April 3 1513 Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon landed in Florida. He had sighted the land the day before. 1829 James Carrington patented the coffee mill. 1860 The first Pony Express riders left St. Joseph, MO and Sacramento, CA. The trip across country took about 10 days. The Pony Express only lasted about a year and a half. 1865 Union forces occupy Confederate capital of Richmond, Virginia. 1866 Rudolph Eickemeyer and G. Osterheld patented a blocking and shaping machine for hats. 1882 The American outlaw Jesse James was shot in the back and killed by Robert Ford for a $5,000 reward. There was later controversy over whether it was actually Jesse James that had been killed. 1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in North America was climbed. 1936 Richard Bruno Hauptmann was executed for the kidnapping and death of the son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh. 1942 The Japanese began their all-out assault on the U.S. and Filipino troops at Bataan. 1946 Lt. General Masaharu Homma, the Japanese commander responsible for the Bataan Death March, was executed in the Philippines. 1948 U.S. President Harry Truman signed the Marshall Plan to revive war-torn Europe. It was $5 billion in aid for 16 countries. 1967 The U.S. State Department said that Hanoi might be brainwashing American prisoners and started experimenting doing the same. 1968 Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "mountaintop" speech just 24 hours before he was assassinated. 1968 North Vietnam agreed to meet with U.S. representatives to set up preliminary peace talks. 1972 Charlie Chaplin returned to the U.S. after a twenty- year absence. 1979 Jane Byrne became the first female mayor in Chicago. 1983 It was reported that Vietnamese occupation forces had overrun a key insurgent base in western Cambodia. 1984 Col. Lansana Konte became the new president of Guinea when the armed forces seized power after the death of Sekou Toure. 1985 The U.S. charged that Israel violated the Geneva Convention by deporting Shiite prisoners. 1986 The U.S. national debt hit $2 trillion. 1987 Riots disrupted mass during the Pope's visit to Santiago, Chili. 1996 An Air Force jetliner carrying Commerce Secretary Ron Brown crashed in Croatia, killing all 35 people aboard. 1996 Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski was arrested. He pled guilty in January 1998 to five Unabomber attacks in exchange for a life sentence without chance for parole. 2010 The first Apple iPad was released. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 

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