Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, April 19 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Here is a site about Easter, that I made many years ago. ______________________________________________________ Today, April 19 in 1943 The Warsaw Ghetto uprising against Nazi rule began. The Jews were able to fight off the Germans for 28 days. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: David Bettro admits committing 2 Westfield armed robberies while wife and infant daughter were driving getaway car ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. --- Jeff Marder _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at their country club one day and one of them said to the other one, "Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't think so? Let me show you." And he called his driver Ah Beng over and said, "Jim, here is a 10 dollar bill, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." To which Jim replied, "Yes Sir! Right away!" and rushed off to the showroom. The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." And he called his driver, Ali: "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." Ali said, "Yes Sir!! Right away, Sir" and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here." Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Jim said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and asked me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes. Doesn't he know that today is Sunday?? The showroom is closed!" Ali replied, "You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is sooo much worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home....He's got a cellphone, right, he can just call home to check! Next election you can vote for them. ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Bettro, 34, Springfield, Massatwoshits David Bettro admits committing 2 Westfield armed robberies while wife and infant daughter were driving getaway car A Hampden Superior Court judge last week sentenced David Bettro of Westfield to four years in state prison for committing armed robberies in Westfield while his wife and infant daughter were in his car. In addition to three armed robbery charges, Bettro pleaded guilty April 5 to two counts of reckless endangerment of a child and resisting arrest. Bettro, 34, has 198 days credit on his sentence for days spent in jail awaiting trial. Bettro was accused of robbing two Westfield businesses: the Quick Food convenience store on Southwick Road on Sept. 10 and Quality Inn on Southampton Road on Sept. 16. In both cases, Bettro threatened clerks with a firearm as his wife, Jolene Bettro, and infant daughter waited outside in their car, according to court records. Using surveillance video, Westfield police traced a vehicle parked near the Quality Inn to Bettro. The case against Jolene Bettro is still pending. She is charged with the robberies and child endangerment for allegedly driving the getaway vehicle in both cases. From: Di Re: Reducing file size of graphics Dear DearWebby I have a question. I am trying to reduce the size of a color flyer I downloaded from a web site. It is currently an 8 mg JPG and it need to be 4 or less to send on to a person who is going to place it in a magazine. I am limited on editing programs, although, I have Microsoft picture Office Manager and I have a new laptop with Win Pic Live gallery, also picassa and Photoshop element. However, I am limited in knowledge of Photoshop elements (just learning it now). Is there anyway I can reduce the size of this flyer? It is also in a PDF format, but, that is even larger? Thank You, Di Dear Di So as not to compromise quality, I would split that flier into two pieces. If the magazine, that you are sending it to, uses low resolution or is an on-line magazine, then you can safely reduce the Dots Per Inch, which drastically cuts down the file size. I use PSP for all graphics work, and if some printer requires PDF, I export it to PDF with Open Office, then upload it to the web and send them the URL They all seem to be quite happy about it, especially since that method does not plug up their email. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A college student wrote a letter home: Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy to have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me. Your son, Marvin. P.S. I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed that I could get it back. But it was too late. A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said, "Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
As we were moving into our dorm last fall, young women wandered from room to room to see what the other students had brought to school. One student's room contained a TV, VCR, stereo system, microwave, and a number of other high-tech gadgets. She even had a Nintendo. A fellow dorm resident couldn't resist asking, "Do you play Nintendo?" The girl responded, "No, but guys do!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Drive-in movie If you have a drive-in movie theatre near you, it can be a fun and relatively inexpensive way to see a movie as a family. Most drive-ins have no problem with you bringing in your own snacks and some even allow you to barbecue before the show. Most drive-in theaters also show a double feature. Thriftyfun.com Drive-ins are almost extinct. There are only 400 of them left in the entire US. However, there are a few traveling Drive-Ins, that tour around and can be booked as fund raisers. They are extremely popular and you need to be there at least three hours early, to get a spot. But you can smoke, and you can barbecue on the tailgate. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | 401 things to do in Canada. |
___________________________________________________ What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait while a fisherman waits and lies! ___________________________________________________ Jim was having reasonable success playing the stock market when George expressed a desire to give it a try. Jim advised him on what stocks to buy, what to stay clear of, etc. In his list of "pointers" was the fact that George should invest only small sums. But George threw caution to the winds and six months later sent an email to Jim, "So much for your darn "pointers! Now send me some "retrievers!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer. At the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest and joined a rather peculiar Order. He took the usual vows of poverty and chastity, but his Order also required him to quit golf and never play again. This was rather difficult for Norton, but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest. One Sunday morning the Reverend Father Norton woke up and, realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny, early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So, he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to perform the sermon for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way, he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church. At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and said, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight toward the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! Saint Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?" ___________________________________________________ | Today April 19 in 1012 Aelfheah was murdered by Danes who had been ravaging the south of England. Aelfhear became the 29th Archbishop of Canterbury in 1005. 1539 Emperor Charles V reached a truce with German Protestants at Frankfurt, Germany. 1587 English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor and sank the Spanish fleet. 1689 Residents of Boston ousted their governor, Edmond Andros. 1713 Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic Sanction, which gave women the rights of succession to Hapsburg possessions. 1764 The English Parliament banned the American colonies from printing paper money. 1770 Captain James Cook discovered New South Wales, Australia. Cook originally named the land Point Hicks. 1775 The American Revolution began as fighting broke out at Lexington, MA. 1782 The Netherlands recognized the new United States. 1794 Tadeusz Kosciuszko forced the Russians out of Warsaw. 1802 The Spanish reopened the New Orleans port to American merchants. 1839 The Kingdom of Belgium was recognized by all the states of Europe when the Treaty of London was signed. 1861 Thaddeus S. C. Lowe sailed 900 miles in nine hours in a hot air balloon from Cincinnati, OH, to Unionville, SC. 1861 The Baltimore riots resulted in four Union soldiers and nine civilians killed. 1861 U.S. President Lincoln ordered a blockade of Confederate ports. 1892 The Duryea gasoline buggy was introduced in the U.S. by Charles and Frank Duryea. 1897 The first annual Boston Marathon was held. It was the first of its type in the U.S. 1927 In China, Hankow communists declared war on Chaing Kai-shek. 1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt issued a proclamation that removed the U.S. from the gold standard. 1938 General Francisco Franco declared victory in the Spanish Civil War. 1939 Connecticut approved the Bill of Rights for the U.S. Constitution after 148 years. 1943 The Warsaw Ghetto uprising against Nazi rule began. The Jews were able to fight off the Germans for 28 days. 1951 General Douglas MacArthur gave his "Old Soldiers" speech before the U.S. Congress after being relieved by U.S. President Truman. In the address General MacArthur said that "Old soldiers never die, they just fade away." 1951 Shigeki Tanaka won the Boston Marathon. Tanaka had survived the atomic blast at Hiroshima, Japan during World War II. 1956 Actress Grace Kelly became Princess Grace of Monaco when she married Prince Rainier III of Monaco. The civil ceremony took place on April 18. 1967 Surveyor 3 landed on the moon and began sending photos back to the U.S. 1971 Russia launched the Salyut into orbit around Earth. It was the first space station. 1975 India launched its first satellite with aid from the USSR. 1977 Alex Haley received a special Pulitzer Prize for his book "Roots." 1981 In Davao, Philippines, thirteen people were killed when members of the New People's Army threw hand grenades into the Roman Catholic cathedral during Easter services. 1982 The U.S. announced a ban on U.S. tourist and business traval to Cuba. The U.S. charged the Cuban government with subversion in Central America. 1987 In Phoenix, AZ, skydiver Gregory Robertson went into a 200- mph free-fall to save an unconscious colleague 3,500 feet from the ground. 1987 The last California condor known to be in the wild was captured and placed in a breeding program at the San Diego Wild Animal Park. 1989 A gun turret exploded aboard the USS Iowa. 47 sailors were killed. 1989 In El Salvador, Attorney General Alvadora was killed by a car bomb. 1993 The Branch-Davidian's compound in Waco, TX, burned to the ground. It was the end of a 51-day standoff between the cult and U.S. federal agents. 86 people were killed including 17 children. Nine of the Branch Davidians escaped the fire. 1994 A Los Angeles jury awarded $3.8 million to Rodney King for violation of his civil rights. 1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, OK, was destroyed by a bomb. It was the worst bombing on U.S. territory. 168 people were killed including 19 children, and 500 were injured. Timothy McVeigh was found guilty of the bombing on June 2, 1997. 1998 Wang Dan, a leader of 1989 Tienanmen Square pro democracy protests, was freed by the Chinese government. 2000 The Oklahoma City National Memorial was dedicated on the fifth anniversary of the bombing in Oklahoma that killed 168 people. 2000 Letters written by Greta Garbo were put on exhibit. The letters were made public ten years after Garbo's death. 2000 In the Philippines, Air Philippines GAP 541 crashed while preparing to land. 131 people were killed. 2002 The USS Cole was relaunched. In Yemen, 17 sailors were killed when the ship was attacked by terrorists on October 12, 2000. The attack was blamed on Osama bin Laden's al-Qaida network. 2019 Do smiled. |
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