Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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  Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, June 15 ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award AZ home invasion and baby kidnappng ___________________________________________________ History on this day, June 15, in 1900, Hawaii became a U.S. territory. ___________________________________________________ College isn't the place to go for ideas. --- Helen Keller (1880 - 1968) ___________________________________________________ A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog." The reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "OK, he wins. Give him the dog." ___________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  (From left to right) Jessica Jones Angulo, Exzavior Jones, Jessica Howard Davila Phoenix, Arizona, USA  AZ home invasion and kidnappng  The 9-month-old baby at the center of a home invasion in Buckeye has been found safe hours after an AMBER Alert was issued around 3:45 p.m. on June 10. The Buckeye Police Department says the baby, Raylon Tucker, and his mother, Jessica Jones Angulo, 19, went missing after she, along with three others, took him during "a violent early morning home invasion near Baseline and Miller." Tucker, along with Angulo and Exzavior Jones, the child's uncle, were found in Phoenix after turning themselves in near 47th Avenue and Thomas. Officers say they were walking in the area when they were taken into custody. Angulo and Jones were arrested. Jessica Howard Davila has also been arrested in connection to the home invasion, leaving one "investigative lead" to be found. The department released more information about the home invasion, saying at around 12:30 a.m., Angulo and three others broke into a home, assaulted those inside, threatened them with a gun, then grabbed Tucker and drove off. One of the victims, police say, is the father of the baby, and he and Angulo have an ongoing custody dispute. "Biological mother (Jessica Jones Angulo) and maternal uncle (Exzavior Jones) of missing child with two accomplices kicked in the front door of the childs biological fathers house on 06/10/22 after midnight. A physical fight ensued between numerous family members and the suspects when Exzavior intentionally fired a handgun. Jessica was able to grab the child from a 13-year-old trying to find a safe place away from the fight. Jessica, Exzavior, and their two accomplices fled the scene," the Arizona Department of Public Safety further explained. ___________________________________________________ >From Tim Many patients call the pathology group where I am office manager to discuss their medical bills. One irate woman demanded that I describe every laboratory test on her statement. Reluctantly, I complied. Starting with the first test on her bill, I read, "No. 1, urinalysis." She interrupted me at once. "I'm a what?" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ A little girl and her mother were in church when the girl started to feel ill. "Mommy, can we leave now?" asked the girl. "No." replied Mom. "I think I'm gonna throw up." "Well go out the front door, walk around the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." A few moments later the girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" asked Mom. "Yes." "How could you have gone all the way around the church, throw up and be back here so soon?" "I didn't even have to go outside. They have a box right by the front door that says 'For the Sick'." ____________________________________________________   Rufous Hummer, Calgary, AB ___________________________________________________ A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large." Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows." The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?" The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?" ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _____________________________________________________ >From Rosie While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1953." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?" He needs new dentures now. ____________________________________________________ >From Anna Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?" With an alarmed look, the nurse quickly said, "Ma'am, he's not THAT sick!" ___________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Barb Re: Picture size  Dear Webby Dear Webby My first digital camera was a 50 pound ( I am exaggerating a bit ) Sony with 2 1/4" floppies, that you had recommended here in the Humor Letter. Like you, I LOVED it. I could take 2 dozen low resolution GIF pictures, or ONE high res JPG, that challenged my monitor. WOW! Now I use a CANON and 4 GB memory chips, and I have spares taped to the camera. I know, in my head, that size is not a limit anymore, but in my heart I still worry. What picture size / resolution do you recommend now. I think I know, and maybe your advice will help me to toss old habits. Thanks Barb  Dear Barb Yes, I remember that big and heavy Sony. Lugged it onto many mountains and through many deserts. And shoeboxes full of floppies. Now I too use a Canon. For the settings I would recommend SUPER-FINE and not restrict size at all. With 4 GB memory chips you got absolutely no worry. You can switch to the spare within seconds, if you have to. Spray paint them fluorescent orange or lime, in case they go flying when changing them in a hurry. I also recommend that you use a cheap $12 chip reader, and not read the pictures straight off the camera. The camera runs at 6 Volt, the USB at 5, so the camera wants to charge the computer. There is a diode, that is supposed to prevent that, but it tends to be the first thing to fail. So, get a cheap chip reader and keep it plugged into the computer. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ 
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______________________________________________________ A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you all understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many people had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark only has 16 chapters. I will know proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying." __________________________________________ The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two U.S. government officials sent to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems." The chief nodded. The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion, where has the white man gone wrong?" The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied. "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. Was: No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Plenty beaver. Women did most of the work. Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time." The chief smiled, and added quietly, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that." _______________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
 Today, June 15, in 1215, King John of England put his seal on the Magna Carta. 1381, The English peasant revolt was crushed in London. 1389, Ottoman Turks crushed Serbia in the Battle of Kosovo. 1607, Colonists in North America completed James Fort in Jamestown, VA. 1667, Jean-Baptiste Denys administered the first fully- documented human blood transfusion. He successfully transfused the blood of a sheep to a 15-year old boy. 1752, Benjamin Franklin experimented by flying a kite during a thunderstorm. The result was a little spark that showed the relationship between lightning and electricity. 1775, George Washington was appointed head of the Continental Army by the Second Continental Congress. 1836, Arkansas became the 25th U.S. state. 1844, Charles Goodyear was granted a patent for the process that strengthens rubber (Vulcanizing, adding sulfur). 1846, The United States and Britain settled a boundary dispute concerning the boundary between the U.S. and Canada, by signing a treaty. 1864, An order to establish a military burial ground was signed by Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton. The location later became known as Arlington National Cemetery. 1866, Prussia attacked Austria. 1877, Henry O. Flipper became the first African American to graduate from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point. 1898, The U.S. House of representatives approved the annexation of Hawaii. 1909, Benjamin Shibe patented the cork center baseball. 1911, The Computing-Tabulating-Recording Co. was incorporated in the state of New York. The company was later renamed International Business Machines (IBM) Corp. 1916, U.S. President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill incorporating the Boy Scouts of America. 1917, Great Britain pledged the release of all the Irish captured during the Easter Rebellion of 1916. 1919, Captain John Alcock and Lt. Arthur W. Brown won $50,000 for successfully completing the first, non-stop trans-Atlantic plane flight. 1940, The French fortress of Verdun was captured by Germans. 1944, American forces began their successful invasion of Saipan during World War II. 1947, The All-Indian Congress accepted a British plan for the partition of India. 1948, Soviet authorities announced that the Autobahn would be closed indefinitely "for repairs." 1958, Greece severed military ties to Turkey because of the Cypress issue. 2022 Do smiled. 

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