Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, November 27 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Girl, 11, Finds Wanted Man Hiding Inside Her Bedroom Closet Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 26 in  1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor of the metric Celsius thermometer. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) The louder she talked of her honor, the faster we counted our spoons. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A young minister, in his first days at his first parish, is obliged to conduct the funeral services for an eccentric man who has just died. At he funeral home, he stands before the open casket and tries to think of words to console the widow. Finally, the minister says, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is only the husk, the shell. The nut has gone to heaven." ------------ Lots of nuts up there! ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99  A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The two women just won't leave the poor man alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay to the right!" After several more orders from both of them the man breaks down and barks at his wife, "Who's driving this car, anyway, you or your mother?" ______________________________________________________ A math teacher is instructing her class in multiplication and gives the students a problem to solve. "Now class," she says. "We know there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year. So who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?" All the kids look baffled by the question except one little fellow sitting in the back row. He raises his hand and waves it excitedly, and the teacher points to him. "All right, how many seconds are there in a year?" the teacher asks. "Twelve, ma'am," the little fellow says brightly. "January second, February second, March second ..." ______________________________________________________   Christian Chevalier 2006 >From FB ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Race Cox, 26, Ardmore, Oklahoma  Girl, 11, Finds Wanted Man Hiding Inside Her Bedroom Closet  A girl from Oklahoma cant stop thinking about the terrifying moment she found a wanted man hiding inside her bedroom closet. Every time I come in my closet or my room or my bathroom, anywhere, I just think about it and like I remember how scary it was, 11-year-old Presley Brown said. Presley was playing on her cell phone in her Ardmore home last Monday when she spotted Race Coxs reflection in the mirror. The 26-year-old man, who fled from police on Sunday after officers tried to arrest him on two felony warrants, emerged from between her clothes and said: Dont be scared, little girl. I started screaming bloody murder, Presley told KFOR. Police were searching for Race Cox on two felony warrants before he broke into the familys home. Presleys parents heard her cries and came running. Her mother, Monica Brown, found Presley crying in the hallway. Her father, who was not identified, grabbed Cox, but he got away after a brief scuffle and fled with $100 of Presleys birthday money. Police spotted Cox walking along a nearby street the following morning and arrested him on the outstanding warrants, plus two more charges of burglary and escape from arrest. Its not clear what Cox was originally wanted for, but he remains in Carter County Jail on $40,000 bond. Brown was thankful the incident didnt take an even more terrifying turn.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits >From Joanne Re: Pictures not showing in FF Dear Webby, I write my pages with FrontPage and fix them by hand. They look OK when I view them, but friends and customers tell me that most of the pictures don't show on FireFox. They also tell me that most of my links don't work. What's the problem with FireFox ? Joanne  Dear Joanne It is not a problem with Firefox. It is a problem with you, FrontPage and MSIE not being up to standard. The international standards, which were set and agreed upon long before MSIE came out, stipulate that file names on the net are NOT to have empty spaces in them. Many years later, when Microsoft finally wrote MSIE, they decided that their users would be too dumb to remember that, and made it so that MSIE and FrontPage let you get away with spaces inside of names (and a few other assorted bits of sloppiness). Firefox and all the other browsers stuck to the standards. You will have to first change the file names of the pictures and the pages that you link to, and then fix all the links and picture calls. I realize, that may seem as much of a nuisance to you as if you had been told as a kid that you could bicycle on any side of the road, and now all of a sudden the big meanies tell you, with a car you have to stick to the standard, and drive on ONLY on the agreed upon side of the road. Pouting at the agreed upon standards won't help you. If you want your links and pictures to work right on all browsers, then you'll have to bring their names up to standard. Have FUN! DearWebby     An extremely shy fellow brings his date a bouquet of flowers. She's so overcome she throws her arms around him and kisses him long and hard. After the kiss, red-faced, he turns and bolts for the door. "Oh, I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't," he replies. "I'm just running down to the cemetery for more flowers!" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Turkey Broccoli Bake  By Robin [5,891 Posts, 29 Comments] A good recipe for you to make use of your leftover turkey! Ingredients: 2 (10 oz) pkgs. chopped broccoli 1 Tbsp. lemon juice 2 Tbsp. butter 2 Tbsp. flour 2 cups milk 1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese 2 cups cooked turkey 1/2 cup bread crumbs 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese 1 Tbsp. melted butter Directions: Cook broccoli until half done, and drain. Mix with lemon juice and spread in 9 inch round baking pan. Melt 2 tablespoons butter and blend in flour; add milk. Cook, stirring constantly until mixture thickens. Remove from heat and stir in Swiss cheese. Cut turkey in strips, and add to cheese sauce. Spoon mixture over broccoli. Combine bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese and melted butter and sprinkle crumbs over casserole. Bake at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes or until heated through. Servings:6 Prep Time:20-30 Minutes Cooking Time:20-25 Minutes By Robin from Washington, IA   ____________________________________________________ A driver pulls up beside a farmhouse in eastern Nebraska. He gets out and knocks at the door. An old woman answers, and the driver asks her for directions to Des Moines, Iowa. "Don't know," the woman says. The driver gets back in his car and pulls away. Then he hears voices. He looks in his rearview mirror and sees the woman and a man of about the same age waving for him to come back. He makes a U-turn and drives back to them. "This is my husband," the old woman says. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either." ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Examples of crappy design. 
 One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to pretend to listen to all of them!" 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's News
 No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today on November 27 1684 Japan's shogun Yoshimune Tokugawa was born. 1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor of the Celsius thermometer. 1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an automobile through Central Park in New York City. 1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC. 1934 U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was killed by FBI agents near Barrington, IL. 1939 The play "Key Largo," by Maxwell Anderson, opened in New York. 1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest. 1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew. 1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of British-ruled Northern Ireland. 1987 French hostages Jean-Louis Normandin and Roger Auque were set free by their pro-Iranian captors in West Beirut, Lebanon. 1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug traffickers. 1991 The UN Security Council unanimously adopted a resolution that led the way for the establishment of a UN peacekeeping operation in Yugoslavia. 1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months. 2008 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was taken out of service after more than 30 years. The ship was launched on September 20, 1967. 2016 Do smiled. 
 

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