Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, January 17 No Gullible Warming here. Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Teenager locked in Audi and raped by man offering a lift home 'for her safety' Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 17 in 1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when a group of lawyers and businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani to abdicate. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.' --- Roy Blount Jr. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bob had invited the pastor and his wife for dinner, and it was little Joey's job to set the table. But when it came time to eat, Joey's mother said with surprise, "Why didn't you give Mrs. Brown a knife and fork dear?" "I didn't think I needed to," as everyone listened as Joey explained, "I heard Daddy say she always eats like a horse." ____________________________________________________ During our church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I'm usually not such a big goob." The bishop rose to close the session and remarked, "That's okay. We like big boobs." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Ubud, Bali _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ "Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are, as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andrew Green, 44, Atherton, England Teenager locked in Audi and raped by man offering a lift home 'for her safety' A man has been jailed after he offered a teenager a lift home 'for her safety' then raped her. The 18-year-old was waiting for a cab when Andrew Green pulled up in his white car. She mistook this for her taxi so got in. However, when she realised Green, 44, wasn't a private hire driver, he locked the doors preventing her from getting out. She said she wanted to get out of the car but he told her he wanted to give her a lift home because his daughter was the same age and he hoped someone would help her if she was on her own. She offered him 10 to get away from the situation, but he then turned aggressive. Police said he then raped her 'knowing she had nowhere to run and nowhere to hide'. Det Con Claire Hughes, of GMP's Leigh CID, added: 'It's absolutely sickening that he tried to portray himself as a Good Samaritan when his only intentions were rape.' Green, from Atherton, has was sentenced to six years and nine months in jail at Bolton Crown Court on Monday after earlier pleading guilty to rape. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: Power Converters Dear Webby, What kind of power converters do I need for my laptop, camera and travel printer for traveling to Europe? Karen Dear Karen Most likely all you need is a light weight power bar like you use for very low power appliances like Christmas lights. Cut off the plug. When you get there, buy a cheap cord plug at any supermarket or electrical store, and put it at the cut end of your power cord. Almost all laptop and camera chargers are labeled 100V - 240V. They don't care. All you need to adapt is the plug at the end of your extension cord so that it fits into the quaint sockets, that they have over there. Most European countries use the same voltage, but differently shaped outlets, and some countries have more than one style. If you travel around much, you will soon accumulate a nice collection of plugs. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Manager: "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary." Applicant: "Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you're doing!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fruity Valentine Gelatin By joanWZ [118 Posts, 41 Comments] It's a fruity dessert for Valentine's Day! Not just for boyfriends and girlfriends but because I am a mom, for the whole family. I especially made this recipe for my two kids. Prep Time: 3 mins. Cook Time: 5 mins. Total Time: 10 mins. Ingredients: 3 cups water 1 sachet gelatin 1 cup white sugar 2 slices papaya, cut into small slices (or any fruit you want) 2 Tbsp sprinkles Steps: In a pan on low heat, add water and sachet of gelatin. adding gelatin packet Stir for 2 minutes on low heat. After 2 minutes add the sugar. Then, prepare the mold for the gelatin, and place the cut papaya fruit. After 5 minutes of stirring pour mixture through a strainer into the mold. This will eliminate lumps in the gelatin. Put it in the refrigerator for 30 minutes. Remove from mold. Decorate with sprinkles, chocolate chips, honey or anything you like. It is now ready to serve! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Make sure you use KNOX Gelatin for this recipe, NOT Jello, which is mostly sugar and 1/4 of the gelatin of a sachet of KNOX. If you use Jello, don't add sugar, and stir on low heat 5 minutes instead of 2. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Our Air National guard unit conducted weapons-qualifying at the firing range. We had been issued our last rounds of ammo and were firing at the silhouettes, when a great gust of wind ripped the targets from their frames, and they fluttered away. Firing stopped as we looked to the range officials. "Keep shooting, Boys," a voice yelled. "We've got 'em on the run now." | | How about spending the night in an ice hotel modeled on A Game Of Thrones in Finland. |
Thanks to Sandie for bringing back this classic: A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly. He again answered, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F." The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T." The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. 'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, "S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 17, in 1377 The Papal See was transferred from Avignon in France back to Rome. 1562 French Protestants were recognized under the Edict of St. Germain. 1773 Captain Cook's Resolution became the first ship to cross the Antarctic Circle. 1852 The independence of the Transvaal Boers was recognized by Britain. 1871 Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable car system. 1882 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Crystal Palace Exhibition in London. 1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when a group of lawyers and businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani to abdicate. 1900 The U.S. took Wake Island where there was an important cable link between Hawaii and Manila. 1900 Yaqui Indians in Texas proclaimed their independence from Mexico. 1900 Mormon Brigham Roberts was denied a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives for his practicing of polygamy. 1905 Punchboards were patented by a manufacturing firm in Chicago, IL. 1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the South Pole. Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him there by one month. Scott and his party died during the return trip. 1913 All partner interests in 36 Golden Rule Stores were consolidated and incorporated in Utah into one company. The new corporation was the J.C. Penney Company. 1928 The fully automatic film-developing machine was patented by A.M. Josepho. 1934 Ferdinand Porsche submitted a design for a people's car, a "Volkswagen," to the new German Reich government. 1945 Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw during World War II. 1945 Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg disappeared in Hungary while in Soviet custody. Wallenberg was credited with saving tens of thousands of Jews. 1959 Senegal and the French Sudan joined to form the Federal State of Mali. 1961 In his farewell address, U.S. President Eisenhower warned against the rise of "the military-industrial complex." 1966 A B-52 carrying four H-bombs collided with a refuelling tanker. The bombs were released and eight crewmembers were killed. 1977 Double murderer Gary Gilmore became the first to be executed in the U.S. in a decade. The firing squad took place at Utah State Prison. 1991 Coalition airstrikes began against Iraq after negotiations failed to get Iraq to retreat from the country of Kuwait. 1992 An IRA bomb, placed next to a remote country road in County Tyrone, Northern Ireland, killed seven building workers and injured seven others. 1994 The Northridge earthquake rocked Los Angeles, CA, registering a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. At least 61 people were killed and about $20 billion in damage was caused. 1995 More than 6,000 people were killed when an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of Kobe, Japan. 1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the Roman Catholic country's history. 1997 Israel gave over 80% of Hebron to Palestinian rule, but held the remainder where several hundred Jewish settlers lived among 20,000 Palestinians. 1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his deposition in the Paula Jones sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He was the first U.S. President to testify as a defendant in a criminal or civil lawsuit. 2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC and SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that created the world's largest drugmaker. 2001 Congo's President Laurent Kabila was shot and killed during a coup attempt. Congolese officials temporarily placed Kabila's son in charge of the government. 2001 The director of Palestinian TV, Hisham Miki, was killed at a restaurant when three masked gunmen walked up to his table and shot him more than 10 times. 2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture agreement to produce software with two partners in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group. 2018 Do smiled. |
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