Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 3 thanks, micki! ___________________________________________________ history on this day, october 3, in 1990, the berlin wall was dismantled eleven months after the borders between east and west germany were dissolved. The unification of germany ended 45 years of division. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award  woman kills ex-landlord with hammer after he confronted her about forged checks  ____________________________________________________most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them. --- evan esar (1899 - 1995) if knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them. --- isaac asimov (1920 - 1992) anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others. --- edward abbey (1927 - 1989) ___________________________________________________ a man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The two women just won't leave the poor man alone. His mother-in-law says, "you're driving too fast!" His wife says, "stay to the right!" After several more orders from both of them the man breaks down and barks at his wife, "who's driving this car, anyway, you or your mother?" ____________________________________________________ the showers in jo's daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, "flushing!" Each time they flushed the toilets. During one of jo's daughter's visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. Jo was explaining how her daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn't tell her all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly they heard the daughter call out from the bathroom, "flushing!" "Good grief," said jo's friend, "how much more do you want to know?" __________________________________________________  reported by rock an international bonehead award has been earned by  xiu fang ke, 43, newton, massachusetts, usa  woman kills ex-landlord with hammer after he confronted her about forged checks  a massachusetts woman allegedly beat her former landlord to death with a hammer and wrapped his body in a curtain after he found out she was forging checks in his name and had stolen over $40,000, officials said. Xiu fang ke, 43, of newton, was arrested and arraigned on a murder charge wednesday in connection with the death of her former landlord leonard garber, 65, the middlesex district attorneys office said in a statement wednesday. Garbers family reported him missing on monday and newton police visited his home to conduct a wellness check, but couldn't find him. Police made two subsequent visits to his home on tuesday and discovered his body. The body was wrapped in a curtain and found under construction materials and other heavy items, the release said. based on the preliminary assessment, it appears that the body may have been there for more than one day and that it had been placed in such a way as to conceal it, officials said. It was later determined that garber and ke had been spending time together and that ke had allegedly been forging checks from the victims accounts, stealing more than $40,000, the release stated. When garber became aware of the theft, he allegedly confronted ke and she allegedly struck and killed him and then attempted to hide the body. in the investigation, police combed through financial records and surveillance footage from garbers home, which showed an asian female, later identified as ke, entering his home in the days before his body was found. Prosecutors said ke was a tenant of garbers several years ago at a different property, not where the attack took place. Ke allegedly confessed to the killing after she was called to police headquarters saying she used a hammer in the attack, prosecutors said, according to nbc boston. during the interview the defendant admitted that she had stolen checks from leonard garber and that she had killed him, assistant district attorney julie kunkel said in court wednesday. she later stated that she had used a hammer and hid his body in the location where it was eventually found by police. prosecutors also said there was evidence she had stolen checks before and owed debts. the defendant sent out a message on a group chat admitting that she had stolen the money, that she owed gambling debts and that she wanted to end her own life, kunkel said in court. Ke was ordered to be held without bail wednesday. _____________________________________________________ a group of women were talking together. One woman said, "our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a sunday." Another said: "that's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A lady in her seventies added her bit, "that's not so bad. In our church it is bad! It's so bad in our church on sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush!" _____________________________________________________   a teacher asks his fifth-grade students to write an essay telling what they would do if they had 5 million dollars. Each of them begins scribbling away immediately -- all, that is, but one little boy who sits idle, looking out the window. When the teacher stroll around the room he sees only one short sentence on his sheet. "What is this?" The teacher asks. "Is this your essay? Everyone else has written two pages or more, and you have done nothing." "Well," the little fellow replies brightly, "read it. That's exactly what I would do if I had 5 million dollars." The teacher bent down and read: "hire someone to do the work for me, especially the writing." _________________________________________________ "you and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did you get married?" "I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract'," was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was." _____________________________________________________   won't be cut into lumber ___________________________________________________ dear abby's essential guide to women's english: yes = no no = yes maybe = no i'm sorry = you'll be sorry we need = I want it's your decision = you will be sorry, no matter which way you decide do what you want = you'll pay for this later we need to talk = I need to complain sure go ahead = you will be sorry if you do i'm not upset = of course i'm upset, you moron be romantic, turn out the lights = I feel flabby this kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house i heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep do you love me? = i'm going to ask for something expensive how much do you love me? = I did something really stupid today i'll be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes and find a good game on tv you have to learn to communicate = just agree with me are you listening to me!? = don't expect reason or logic from this point on _________________________________________________  dearwebby's tech support pits from:lorna re: good mug shot dear webby, i need a decent mug shot for my pages. I am definitely not a professional photorapher, and I definitely don't have decent backgrounds to stand in front of. Without photoshop I can't change that. What do you recommend? Lorna  dear lorna i have a good friend, since the early 90s, in california. She is a professional headshot photographer. karen vaisman photography she will make you look like a movie star or a mega corporation ceo. Naturally, a pro like her does not work for free. But a decent, professional head shot will make a huge difference for your business for many years. You don't have to look like a just caught criminal. Have fun! Dear webby ___________________________________________________ at one of the last all girl schools in dallas years ago, the instructor in a "charm course" was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you," she said. Then, returning to reality, she added, "but, if the big, dumb klutz is in the restaurant ordering his steak or flirting at the waitress, ... Don't wait any longer." _____________________________________________________ two intrepid explorers meet in the heart of the brazilian jungle. Says one, "i'm here to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?" The second explorer sighs deeply. "I came because my young daughter has begun violin lessons." _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________  today, october 3, in 1863, u.S. President lincoln declared that the last thursday of november would be recognized as thanksgiving day. 1888, "the yeomen of the guard" was performed for the first time. It was the first of 423 shows. 1893, the motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by j.S. Thurman. 1901, the victor talking machine company was incorporated. After a merger with radio corporation of america the company became rca-victor. 1906, w.T. Grant opened a 25-cent department store. 1922, rebecca l. Felton became the first female to hold office of u.S. Senator. She was appointed by governor thomas w. Hardwick of georgia to fill a vacancy. 1929, the kingdom of serbs, croats and slovenes officially changed its name to the kingdom of yugoslavia. 1932, iraq was admitted into the league of nations leading britain to terminate their mandate over the nation. Britain had ruled iraq since taking it from turkey during world war i. 1935, italian forces invaded abyssinia (now ethiopia). 1941, adolf hitler stated in a speech that russia was "broken" and they "would never rise again." 1942, the office of economic stabilization was established by u.S. President franklin d. Roosevelt. He also authorized controls on rents, wages, salaries and farm prices. 1944, during world war ii, u.S. Troops broke through the siegfried line. 1951, cbs-tv aired the first coast-to-coast telecast of a prizefight. Dave sands defeated carl olson at soldier field in chicago. 1952, britain became the third nuclear power in the world when they successfully detonated their first atomic bomb. The u.S. And russia were the only other nuclear powers. 1955, "captain kangaroo" premiered on cbs-tv. 1955, "the mickey mouse club" premiered on abc-tv. 1961, "the dick van dyke show" debuted on cbs-tv. 1962, the sigma vii blasted off from cape canaveral for a nine-hour flight. 1962, the play, "stop the world, I want to get off!" Opened on broadway. 1981, irish nationalists in maze prison in belfast, northern ireland called off their hunger strike. The strike had lasted 7 months and ten people had died. 1986, "tough guys" was released. It was the first comedy to feature burt lancaster and kirk douglas. It was, however, their seventh movie together. 1988, the space shuttle discovery landed safely after its four-day mission. It was the first american shuttle mission since the challenger disaster. 1989, east germany suspended unrestricted travel to czechoslovakia in an effort to slow the flow of refugees to the west. 1990, the berlin wall was dismantled eleven months after the borders between east and west germany were dissolved. The unification of germany ended 45 years of division. 1990, iraqi president saddam hussein made a visit to kuwait since his country had seized control of the oil-rich nation. 1994, the headquarters of the haitian pro-army militia was raided by u.S. Soldiers. 2001, espn began its 10th season of national hockey league (nhl) coverage. 2003, ray horn, of the duo "siegfried & roy," was attacked by tiger during a performance. Roy survived the attack after being dragged offstage. The tiger, a 7-year-old male named montecore, was debuting in his first show. 2006, north korea announced that it would conduct a nuclear test as a key step in the manufacture of atomic bombs that it viewed as a deterrent against a u.S. Attack. A date for the test was not announced. 2022 Do! smiled.