Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 9 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!   ___________________________________________________ History on this day, September 9, in 2008, The iTunes Music Store reached 100 million applications downloaded. 2009, The iTunes Music Store reached 1.8 billion applications downloaded. ____________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Driver Allegedly Attacks Disabled Combat Vet Taking Photo Of Mercedes In Handicapped Spot At Boca Raton Trader Joes. ____________________________________________________ I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. --- Elvis Presley (1935 - 1977) A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear. --- Alan Corenk You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence. --- Charles Austin Beard (1874 - 1948) ____________________________________________________ >From Fran I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she'd solved the problem by turning off the lights. A passenger across the aisle who had been listening leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines." ____________________________________________________ One of the burdens of office of the small town mayor was his brother in-law, a fellow who liked to throw his or, rather, his in-law's political weight around. The mayor had instructed his policemen and other city officials to treat him just like they would any other taxpayer. The brother-in-law got a ticket for overtime parking. He im- mediately descended in fury on police headquarters, waving the ticket and sputtering, "Hey, do you know who I am?" The desk sergeant surveyed him calmly, picked up his telephone and dialed the mayor's office. "Tell the mayor," he said to the secretary, "that his brother-in-law is down here and can't remember his name." __________________________________________________  Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Marc Allen Brown, Boca Raton, Florida, USA  Driver Allegedly Attacks Disabled Combat Vet Taking Photo Of Mercedes In Handicapped Spot At Boca Raton Trader Joes.  A disabled combat veteran was allegedly battered by a man who parked his Mercedes in a handicapped spot at Trader Joes in East Boca Raton. The Mercedes allegedly displayed neither a handicapped license plate nor a handicapped placard. When the disabled veteran confronted the driver, Marc Allen Brown allegedly assaulted him. The Boca Raton Police Department arrested Brown, writing this in the arrest report: Victim 1 explained that he observed a vehicle parked in the handicap spot on the north end of the building with no placard. As Victim 1 was entering Trader Joe s he observed a subject later identified as Marc Brown walking back to the vehicle. Victim 1 confronted Brown asking for his handicap placard. According to Victim 1 they got into a verbal argument and at one point Brown stuck his finger into Victim 1s eye resulting in a scrape. Pictures of the injury were captured on my (body-worn camera). I spoke with Brown who admitted to getting into a verbal argument with Victim 1 but when asked denied any physical altercation. Brown stated multiple times that he never struck Victim 1. When directly asked as to the origins of the mark on Victim 1s eye, Brown denied being responsible. Due to available evidence supporting the sequence of events as described by Victim 1 it is clear Brown committed the offense of Simple Battery FSS 784.3 (1A1) by sticking his finger into Victim 1 S eye resulting in an injury. Brown was placed under arrest at 2122 hours, and released with an Notice To Appear. A judge on Thursday carried over the case until December. The incident occurred in early August. BocaNewsNow.com just learned of the specifics and obtained Browns arrest report. Marc Allen Brown lives in the 100 block of NE 2nd Street. Boca Rudeton is a feature of BocaNewsNow.com. We remind our readers that there is no expectation of privacy in a public place. Dont want to be seen here? Dont be rude here! _____________________________________________________ Our parish priest was making a visit to my nephew's home. He knocked on the door, and the little 4-year-old boy went to the door and saw the priest. He called to his dad, "Hey, Dad! That guy that works for God is here!" _____________________________________________________   Dave L. Clark Wood Duck, SE Calgary, Sept 7/2022. _____________________________________________________ A couple came to the police department, wanting to dispose of some ammunition. They handed the desk officer a wooden box and said that it contained two shells an uncle had given them as souvenirs from World War II. "We didn't know what to do with them," the woman explained. "So all these years, we've kept the shells in the bottom drawer of the china cabinet, away from our children." The officer assured the couple he'd dispose of the ammunition safely. But when he took one out of the box the top came off, revealing a strange black substance. His suspicions aroused, the officer removed the top of the other shell and found a hard white substance. There was no doubt about it. They were souvenir salt and pepper shakers. _____________________________________________________   Pam Bloomfield-Hawkes, Calgary Merlin, Sept 5/2022 ___________________________________________________ "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me two examples?" "Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car, and your boobs." _________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Dorothy RE: PDF Dear Webby, What kind of program do I need to watch a PDF slide show? Thanks Dorothy  Dear Dorothy It used to be you needed a special program for PDF, but it seems Adobe's patent on them ran out and nowadays even regular browsers like Chrome open PDFs as if they were simple JPG pictures. Your Chrome might do it automatically/. If it doesn't, assign it as the default program for PDF files. HaveFUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ Sally had three very active boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead." She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day". _____________________________________________________ At my divorce my then-to-be-ex said to the judge: "And that, your Honor, is MY side of the story. Now, let me tell you HIS." _____________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________  Today, September 9, in 490 B.C., The Battle of Marathon took place between the invading Persian army and the Athenian Army. The marathon race was derived from the events that occurred surrounding this battle. 1776, The second Continental Congress officially made the term "United States", replacing the previous term "United Colonies." 1836, Abraham Lincoln received his license to practice law. 1850, California became the 31st state to join the union. 1898, In Omaha, NE, Tommy Fleming of Eau Claire, WI won the first logrolling championship. 1893, U.S. President Grover Cleveland's wife, Frances Cleveland, gave birth to a daughter, Esther. It was the first time a president's child was born in the White House. 1904, Mounted police were used for the first time in the City of New York. 1911, Italy declared war on the Ottoman Turks and annexed Libya, Tripolitania, and Cyrenaica in North Africa. 1919, The majority of Boston's police force went on strike. The force was made up of 1,500 men. 1919, Alexander Graham Bell and Casey Baldwin's HD-4, a hydrofoil craft, set a world marine speed record. 1942, Japan dropped incendiaries over NE in an attempt to set fire to the forests in Oregon and Washington. The forest did not ignite. 1943, During World War II Allied forces landed at Taranto and Salerno. 1948, North Korea became the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. 1950, Sal Maglie (New York Giants) pitched a fourth consecutive shutout. Only four other pitchers in the National League had ever accomplished this feat. 1957, The first civil rights bill to pass Congress since Reconstruction was signed into law by U.S. President Eisenhower. 1965, French President Charles de Gaulle announced that France was withdrawing from NATO to protest the domination of the U.S. in the organization. 1971, Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings retired from the National Hockey League (NHL). 1981, Nicaragua declared a state of economic emergency and banned strikes. 1983, The Soviet Union announced that the Korean jetliner that was shot down on September 1, 1983 was not an accident or an error. 1986, Frank Reed was taken hostage in Lebanon by pro-Iranian kidnappers. The director of a private school in Lebanon was released 44 months later. 1986, Ted Turner presented the first of his colorized films on WTBS in Atlanta, GA. 1986, Gennadiy Zakharov was indicted by a New York jury on espionage charges. Zakharov was a Soviet United Nations employee. 1993, Israeli and PLO leaders agreed to recognize each other. 1994, The U.S. agreed to accept about 20,000 Cuban immigrants a year. This was in return for Cuba's promise to halt the flight of refugees. 1994, The space shuttle Discovery blasted off on an 11-day mission. 1995, Amtrak's Broadway Limited service made its final run between New York City, NY and Chicago, IL. 1997, Sinn Fein, the IRA's political ally, formally renounced violence as it took its place in talks on Northern Ireland's future. 1998, Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr delivered to the U.S. Congress 36 boxes of material concerning his investigation of U.S. President Clinton. 1998, Four tourists who had paid $32,500 each were taken in submarine to view the wreckage of the Titanic. The ship is 2 miles below the Atlantic off Newfoundland. 1999, The Sega Dreamcast game system went on sale. By 1:00pm all Toys R Us locations in the U.S. had sold out. 2008, The iTunes Music Store reached 100 million applications downloaded. 2009, The iTunes Music Store reached 1.8 billion applications downloaded. 2014, Apple unveiled the iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, Apple Watch, Apple Watch Sport and Apple Watch Edition. 2022 Do! smiled.