Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, June 13 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Texas toddlers die after teenage mom intentionally left them in car for 15 hours  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 13 in 1920 The U.S. Post Office Department ruled that children may not be sent by parcel post. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right. --- Ellen Goodman (1941 - ) "A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends." --- George Washington ------------------ Women, however, need words and chocolate in addition to mere actions. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Jacob (87) and Rebecca (82) are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a super drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers "Yes". Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course." Jacob: "Medicine for memory?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins, constipation, and sleeping pills?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob turns to Rebecca: "Sweetheart, we might as well register our wedding gift list with them." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ How To Interpret Employment Ads "Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train you. "Casual Work Atmosphere" - We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up. "Must be Deadline Oriented" - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day. "Some Overtime Required" - Some time each night, some time each weekend. "Duties will Vary" - Anyone in the office can boss you around. "Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience" - You will need to replace three people who just left. "Problem Solving Skills a Must" - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Haven't heard a word from anyone out there. Your first task is to find out what is going on. "Requires Team Leadership Skills" - You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect. "Good Communication Skills" - Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they want and do it. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Amanda Hawkins, 19, Kerrsville, Texas  Texas toddlers die after teenage mom intentionally left them in car for 15 hours  Two toddlers are dead after authorities in Texas say their mother intentionally left them inside of a car for more than 15 hours as she hung out with friends on Tuesday night. Amanda Hawkins, 19, was arrested on two counts of abandoning or endangering a child following the tragedy involving her young daughters, the Kerr County Sheriff's Office announced Friday. Sisters Brynn Hawkins, 1, and Addyson Overgard-Eddy, 2, were initially described as in grave condition after taken to a hospital in Kerrsville by their mother and a 16-year-old boy on Wednesday. There, their mother told hospital staff that the girls collapsed after smelling flowers at a lake, Sheriff W.R. Rusty Hierholzer said in a release. They thought maybe they got into something poisonous, Hierholzer recalled the mom's story to Fox San Antonio. He said the story, however, quickly started to fall apart. An investigation by the police and child protective services found that Hawkins had intentionally left the girls overnight in her car while at a friend's. Around noon the next day she found them unresponsive in the car, Hierholzer said. Some of the witnesses said that they could hear the kids crying outside and told her to bring them in but she didn't want to, he told KENS 5. Instead of immediately seeking help, Hierholzer said the mom bathed them and redressed them. She allegedly told authorities that she didn't want to take them to the hospital because she didn't want to get into trouble. According to Fox San Antonio, someone talked her into taking them to a hospital. Around 5 p.m. the next day, they were taken off ventilator systems and died, Fox San Antonio reported. An autopsies of the bodies are currently underway. This is by far the most horrific case of child endangerment that I have seen in the 37 years that I have been in law enforcement, Hierholzer said in his statement. Hierholzer said charges against the girls' mother may be upgraded because of their deaths. It will be up to a grand jury to decide. The 16-year-old boy may also face charges.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Rhonda Re: Psychics on the net Dear Webby, I have often wondered how those psychics that offer their services via email can do their readings over the Internet. Rhonda  Der Rhonda Always remember, "Spammers Lie". Those "psychics" are just a bunch of silly crooks. The only thing they read is your credit card. All you get is some vague generalities that would fit anybody. Whenever I look in the trash for something else that I accidentally deleted, I always see a bunch of spam from "psychics". If they had the slightest bit of psychic ability then they would know that I filter their spam into the trash, unread. I would gladly do a psychic reading of the aura attached to your email, but my psychic abilities are telling me that considering your gullibility index, you are probably overdressed for the season. Have FUN! DearWebby    Sarah and Dick were having dinner with a couple they'd not seen for several years. Each couple tried to re- capture knowledge of the other by recounting their histories. "And soon after we were married," Sarah began, "we were blessed with a marvelous, chubby creature with cute bow legs and no teeth." "You had a baby, I presume," said the other husband. "Nope," Dick broke in, "Sarah's mother came to live with us." 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ham with Sweet Mustard Sauce  By l_rambou [12 Posts, 2 Comments] Mustard tastes good with ham. You can use the extra sauce on your vegetables, potatoes or rice. You can add pineapple which is always nice with ham and makes an even sweeter sauce. Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 45 minutes Total Time: 55 minutes Yield: 3-4 Ingredients: 1 ham 1/3 cup yellow mustard 1/4 cup dijon mustard 1/4 cup brown sugar Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Slice ham and place in casserole dish. Stir together the mustards and brown sugar until well blended. Pour the sauce over the ham. Making sure all slices are covered. Cover and place in oven. Cook for 30 minutes, then remove the cover for the last 15 minutes of cooking.  ____________________________________________________ 
  
Don't give up on the sea gulls, keep watching! 
 ____________________________________________________  Allan moved into a nudist colony. He received a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong part, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. You definitely have the Hinkley nose like your Grandpa, but you should get a better barber. The hairstyle you got is not flattering for a good looking young man like you!" ___________________________________________________  
 
An amazing 21-year-old artist brings history to life through color.
 "Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle of the night feeding?" "No. I always did that." "That must have been before you had women's liberation." "No, it was before we had baby bottles." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are a hundredth of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin that it is kosher." 
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 Today, on June 13, in 1415 Henry the Navigator, the prince of Portugal, embarked on an expedition to Africa. 1777 The Marquis de Lafayette arrived in the American colonies to help with their rebellion against the British. 1789 Ice cream was served to General George Washington by Mrs. Alexander Hamilton. 1825 Walter Hunt patented the safety pin. Hunt then then sold the rights for $400. 1866 The 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by the U.S. Congress. 1898 The Canadian Yukon Territory was organized. 1900 China's Boxer Rebellion against foreigners and Chinese Christians erupted into violence. 1912 Captain Albert Berry made the first successful parachute jump from an airplane in Jefferson, Mississippi. 1920 The U.S. Post Office Department ruled that children may not be sent by parcel post. 1922 Charlie Osborne started the longest attack on hiccups. He hiccuped over 435 million times before stopping. He died in 1991, 11 months after his hiccups ended. 1923 The French set a trade barrier between the occupied Ruhr and the rest of Germany. That did not go over well at all. 1927 Charles Lindbergh was honored with a ticker-tape parade in New York City. 1927 For the first time, an American Flag was displayed from the right hand of the Statue of Liberty. 1940 Paris was evacuated before the German advance on the city. 1943 German spies landed on Long Island, New York. They were soon captured. 1944 Germany launched 10 of its new V1 rockets against Britain from a position near the Channel coast. Of the 10 rockets only 5 landed in Britain and only one managed to kill (6 people in London). 1944 Marvin Camras patented the wire recorder. 1949 Bao Dai entered Saigon to rule Vietnam. He had been installed by the French. 1951 U.N. troops seized Pyongyang, North Korea. 1966 The landmark "Miranda v. Arizona" decision was issued by the U.S. Supreme Court. The decision ruled that criminal suspects had to be informed of their constitutional rights before being questioned by police. 1967 Solicitor General Thurgood Marshall was nominated by President Lyndon B. Johnson to become the first black justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 1971 The New York Times began publishing the "Pentagon Papers". The articles were a secret study of America's involvement in Vietnam. 1978 Israelis withdrew the last of their invading forces from Lebanon. 1979 Sioux Indians were awarded $105 million in compensation for the U.S. seizure in 1877 of their Black Hills in South Dakota. 1983 The unmanned U.S. space probe Pioneer 10 became the first spacecraft to leave the solar system. It was launched in March 1972. The first up-close images of the planet Jupiter were provided by Pioneer 10. 1988 The Liggett Group, a cigarette manufacturer, was found liable for a lung-cancer death. They were, however, found innocent by the federal jury of misrepresenting the risks of smoking. 1994 A jury in Anchorage, Alaska, found Exxon Corp. and Captain Joseph Hazelwood to be reckless in the Exxon Valdez oil spill. 1995 France announced that they would conduct eight more nuclear tests in the South Pacific. 2000 In Pyongyang, North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il welcomed South Korea's President Kim Dae for a three-day summit. It was the first such meeting between the leaders of North and South Korea. 2017 Do smiled.

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