Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, December 8 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Today's Bonehead Award: Maryland man facing federal charges for selling fake COVID-19 vaccination cards ____________________________________________________ Today, December 8, in 1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data networking business for $5 billion cash. ____________________________________________________ All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) ____________________________________________________ A wealthy woman is giving a garden party, and several well-to-do guests attend. While the party ensues, two gardeners are out on the back lawn working. One of the guests was watching the gardeners do their thing, and while one gardener was busy weeding the other jumped up and did graceful swirling dance movements. Taken by his grace, the guest remarked to the host, "That man is such a talented dancer, that I'd pay him a hundred pounds to demonstrate his dancing before my aerobics class!" When the host asked the first gardener about such an arrangement, he yelled, "Hey Fred! Do you think for a hundred pounds you could step on that rake again?" ____________________________________________________   RoadRunner ____________________________________________________ My parents have a friend named Tex. One day I asked him what part of Texas he was from. "I'm not from Texas," he replied. "But you have a Southern drawl," I insisted. "Yeah, I do," he admitted. "I'm actually from Louisiana. But you better not call me Louise!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Amar Shabazz, 23, Owings Mills, Maryland, USA  Maryland man facing federal charges for selling fake COVID-19 vaccination cards  Authorities say a Maryland man is facing federal charges in connection with a scheme to distribute fake COVID-19 vaccination cards. Officials say 23-year-old Amar Shabazz is accused of selling and distributing over 600 fake COVID-19 vaccine cards that he allegedly bought through a foreign online marketplace. Shabazz advertised the cards for sale on social media platforms and distributed them through the U.S. mail, official say. Court officials say Shabazz sold the fraudulent cards for approximately $70 to $75 each. "Im sold out right now no more vax cards until next week," officials say he posted online over the summer. Additionally, authorities say Shabazz messaged another person saying, "Made 300 today. Im sold out. Just bought 500 more cards. 60x500 is $30k. Im gonna be rich. Shabazz was an inmate of the Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services in early 2021 after being sentenced in in the Circuit Court of Maryland for possession of child pornography. He was released in April 2021. In October, law enforcement executed search warrants at a basement used by Shabazz and said they found a bulleted list titled, "Things Im doing when I get out (updated)." The list included obtaining two "burner" cell phones, with the note, "first burner is for scamming." Another bullet point stated, "hire a lawyer and get tips of what not to do when getting money illegally." If convicted, Shabazz faces a maximum sentence of 20 years incarceration each for mail fraud and for obstruction of justice.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Hagar II Re: ZIP program Dear Webby The Zip programs are getting too pushy for my taste. I even suspect that some of them are phony. What is your opinion of them? Hagar II  Dear Hagar II Yes, most of the pushy ones are phony. You don't need them anyway. Microsoft bought Zip and includes it in Windows, and Mac probably did the same. It unzips any legitimate stuff automatically. I block or delete that pushy stuff by default. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the smiling bride arriving at the church, the happily laughing bride at the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said, "it's like halloween, right, but backwards. Mommy put on a nice disguise so that you would not see how scarey she really is. 
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 _____________________________________________  After a long and arduous divorce trial that dragged on for weeks and cost him everything except the clothes he wore, on the way out of the court George was reminded of a phrase in an old song: "being free is nothing left to lose". He realized the truth in that and started laughing and shouting as he skipped down the sidewalk. "I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted. "So what," said a little girl. "I'm almoft four." ______________________________________________ A Bonehead award goes to a Southern California car parts dealer who bought 320 live turkeys for $5,000 for a promotion. He planned to let the turkeys run lose in his yard while giving those who buy a car part a chance to run around the yard with a shotgun and try to shoot one of them. Unfortunately he never checked to see if the city would allow such a thing. The business is now stuck with 321 turkeys running around the yard. LA Times ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Peter and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store. Peter says to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't think we can afford it." The salesman says, "You just make a small down payment... then you don't make another payment for six months." Gladys turned on him with her hands on her hips and demanded, "Who told you about us!?" ___________________________________________________  
 Today, December 8, in 1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to Pennsylvania. 1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for the Reconstruction of the South. 1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and became the first world heavyweight champion. 1886 At a convention of union leaders in Columbus, OH, the American Federation of Labor was founded. 1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared war against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Canada declared war on Japan the day before. 1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese mainland to Formosa due to Communists pressure. 1952 On the show "I Love Lucy," a pregnancy was acknowledged in a TV show for the first time. 1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the United States. 1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union began striking and closed nine New York City newspapers. The strike lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963. 1980 Zimbabwe's manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found guilty in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under a law that protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism. 1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held the Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up with explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later he was shot to death by police. 1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was awarded $200,000 for emotional distress. 1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations' arsenals of intermediate-range nuclear missiles. 1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians in the Israeli-occupied territories began. 1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender their control over the government and accept a minority role in a coalition Cabinet. 1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet national government to be dead. They forged a new alliance to be known as the Commonwealth of Independent States. The act was denounced by Russian President Gorbachev as unconstitutional. 1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. troops landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation Restore Hope. (Due to the time difference, it was December 9 in Somalia.) 1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American Free Trade Agreement. 1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, but continued to detain about 300 others. 1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the O.J. Simpson murder trial. 1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation would merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion. 1997 Jenny Shipley was sworn in as the first female prime minister of New Zealand. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic violation. 1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. The file contained over 1,300 pages. 1998 Nkem Chukwu and Iyke Louis Udobi's first of eight babies was born. The other seven were delivered 12 days later. 1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data networking business for $5 billion cash. 1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0. 1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy, not a lone assassin. 1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an economic and political confederation. 2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins that he planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player at age 35. He would be the first modern owner- player in U.S. pro sports. 2021 Do smiled. 

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