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Bonehead Man arrested for starting fires inside Mesa Target, causing $5M worth of damage ___________________________________________________ Q To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. --- Lillian Carter, in her 80s ___________________________________________________ Two intrepid explorers meet in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. Says one, "I'm here to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?" The second explorer sighs deeply. "I came because my young daughter has begun violin lessons." ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "One-seventy." he says. The nurse puts him on the scale It turns out that his weight is 183. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "Five-eleven." he says. The nurse checks and sees that he's only 5' 8 1/2". She then takes his blood pressure, and it's very high. The man explains, "Of course it's high. When I came in here, I was tall and wiry. Then, after one look at you, I became short and fat!" ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Daniel Hull, 31, Mesa, Arizona, USA Man arrested for starting fires inside Mesa Target, causing $5M worth of damage olice say a man who set multiple fires inside a Target store in Mesa, and caused millions of dollars worth of damage, has been arrested. Mesa Police say officers responded on June 27 just before 10 p.m. to a Target near Southern Avenue and Longmore for reports of a fire. Once at the scene, officers went inside with a fire extinguisher but had to leave because of the amount of smoke inside the store. Firefighters arrived at the Target and extinguished the flames. Investigators determined that two separate fires were set inside the store one in the baby diaper aisle, and the second on a piece of clothing on the floor. "Target reported the amount of damage caused by the fire was upwards of $5,000,000 as toxic smoke had contacted all the merchandise inside the store in addition to fire suppression sprinklers flooding the area," police wrote in a news release. Police viewed surveillance footage and noticed a man walking through the store, placing items in a shopping cart before the fires were started. "This man picks up a shirt resembling the one that was set on fire. He hastily moves from the area, toward electronics as smoke is starting to invade the store," police said. "The man watches the fire grow and then attempts to break into a case of cell phones with a hammer but is unsuccessful." The man allegedly took several items of stolen merchandise before leaving the store and fleeing in a black car. Police obtained the vehicle's license plate and identified the suspect as 31-year-old Daniel Hull, who was already in custody from an unrelated arrest. "Hull was interviewed by officers and admitted to starting the fires," police said. Hull was booked into jail and is accused of multiple charges, including arson, endangerment, shoplifting and criminal damage. ___________________________________________________ A man is taking an English class where the instructor is discussing the Greek origins of many English words. "Tell me," he says to the class, "what do the words 'monogamy' and 'monotony' have in common?" >From the back of the room comes a gravelly voice: "They're synonyms." __________________________________________________ Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, "A lawyer!" ___________________________________________________ Point Abino, Lake Erie, Ontario (near Crystal Beach) Taera Bliss ___________________________________________________ A man is taking an English class where the instructor is discussing the Greek origins of many English words. "Tell me," he says to the class, "what do the words 'monogamy' and 'monotony' have in common?" >From the back of the room comes a gravelly voice: "They're synonyms." ___________________________________________________ From:Jerome Re: Tape to CD Dear Webby I get a lot of good tips from you. Thank you. Can you tell me if there is a way to record from a Cassette to a CD? I have an Iomega Super DVD/CD burner that I can record from my camcorder to, but haven't figured out the cassette. Thanks for any help. Jerome Dear Jerome Yes, sure there is a way. Connect a cable with male 1/8" headphone plugs on each end from the headphone socket on your tape player to the AUX-IN or the microphone socket on your computer, then record it with any sound recording software. The AUX-IN socket is the one that has neither a headphone nor a microphone symbol, but something weird and incomprehensible. AUX-IN is usually colored blue. Most sound cards come with some basic sound recording software, and you can find lots more with google. Windows Sound Recorder works too. My favorite is Audacity Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________________ Two boys were arguing when the priester entered the room. The priester says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the priester, "When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the priester. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for ths story: The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge when you should feed them because they were always grazing. A veteran parent of six children told us of his method for judging the true hunger of teenagers. "I would hold up a piece of cold, cooked broccoli, and if they were jumping and snapping at it, I figured they were hungry enough to be fed." __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today July 5, in 1806, A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina. 1811, Venezuela became the first South American country to declare independence from Spain. 1814, U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior British force at Chippewa, Canada. 1830, France occupied the North African city of Algiers. 1832, The German government began curtailing freedom of the press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against Austrian rule. 1839, British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan Island in China and then occupied it. 1863, U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and distributed supplies to the citizens. 1865, William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. 1865, The U.S. Secret Service Division was created to combat currency counterfeiting, forging and the altering of currency and securities.. 1892, Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary engine. 1916, Adelina and August Van Buren started on the first successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. They started in New York City and arrived in San Diego, CA, on September 12, 1916. 1935, "Hawaii Call" was broadcast for the first time. 1935, U.S. President Roosevelt signed the National Labor Relations Act into law. The act authorized labor to organize for the purpose of collective bargaining. 1940, During World War II, Britain and the Vichy government in France broke diplomatic relations. 1941, German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union. 1943, The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history. 1946, The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. 1948, Britain's National Health Service Act went into effect, providing government-financed medical and dental care. 1950, U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first time at Osan, South Korea. 1951, Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. 1962, Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule. 1975, Arthur Ashe became the first black man to win a Wimbledon singles title when he defeated Jimmy Connors. 1984, The U.S. Supreme Court weakened the 70-year-old "exclusionary rule," deciding that evidence seized with defective court warrants could be used against defendants in criminal trials. 1989, Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for his part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions were later overturned. 1991, Regulators shut down the Pakistani-managed Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) in eight countries. The charge was fraud, drug money laundering and illegal infiltration into the U.S. banking system. 1995, The U.S. Justice Department decided not to take antitrust action against Ticketmaster. 1998, Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars. 2000, Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner. 2000, 10 Bengal tigers, including 7 rare white tigers, died at the Nandankanan Zoo in India. The tigers died of trypanosomiasis (sleeping sickness). 2000, Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister Tony Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk and lying on the ground in London's Leicester Square. 2023, Do smiled.

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