Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, November 29 If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! Thank you, Adrien! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award 3 arrested after officers find meth, stolen property, pipe bombs ____________________________________ Today, November 26 in 1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior to a Soviet attack. Finland promptly ran to Germany for help, when the US and England turned them away. They kicked the Germans out in 1945, just as WWII was ending and it had become obvious, that Germany was losing and about to be bombed back into the stone age. _____________________________________________________ What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. --- Dave Barry (1947 - ) The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) _____________________________________________________ A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. Honey, she said, "You received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted. On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Judy The joke about the kid wanting money reminded me of my little brother who was always "borrowing" money and never remembered to pay it back.Soon everyone learned to say they didn't have it if he asked to borrow money , then one night he asked me if I had change for a twenty dollar bill,like a fool I said yes. He said "Can I borrow it?" He got me again!! _________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by From left: Devine, Robinson and Wheeler Derek Devine, 34, Caitlin Robinson, 26, Michael Wheeler, 50, Great Bend, Kansas 3 arrested after officers find meth, stolen property, pipe bombs Authorities in central Kansas have arrested three people after a search warrant uncovered drugs, stolen property and homemade explosives. Barton County Sheriff Brian Bellendir said detectives had been investigating a string of recent burglaries and had enough probable cause to obtain a search warrant for a home in the 1800 block of Odell in Great Bend. During Tuesday afternoon's search, officers found property from at least three burglaries, methamphetamine and pipe bombs. Sheriff Bellendir said the ATF was notified, and the Wichita Police Department bomb squad responded to the scene. The pipe bombs were transported back to Wichita where they were disposed of. The three people who were inside the home were arrested. Derek Devine, 34, was booked for possession of meth with intent to distribute within 1,000 feet of a school, possession of explosives, felony theft, burglary and possession of stolen property. Caitlin Robinson, 26, was charged with possession of stolen property and possession of meth. Michael Wheeler, 50, was charged with possession of meth. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: Reading camera chips Dear Webby, My good ol laptop used to be able to read camera chips via the little slot in the side, but seems to have gone deaf and dumb. Is that fixable? Frank Dear Frank Theoretically, that MIGHT be fixable, but actually it is not worth it. They would charge you a lot of money for that. Just get a cheap $9 - $12 chip reader, that plugs into a USB port. I bought mine probably 25 years ago while on a cactus safari in Northern Arizona. It has outlived many computers and still works just fine. Most likely it will continue to work as long as computers have standard USB sockets. Have FUN! DearWebby If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work, Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! | _____________________________________________ An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral. Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there. About two months later a priest saw the old man out there with his dog and decided to go talk to the old man. "Hello there. You know, we see you come out here every day to visit your wife's grave and we just think that so sweet. We were all wondering if the dog is something that was special to your wife since you always bring it out here with you." "No, actually I bring the dog out here to piss on the grave. I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure." ____________________________________________ Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Ron said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Greg replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?" ____________________________________________ >From Eva My boyfriend and I met online and we'd been dating for over a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we me over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the geek, Hans naively replied," I just used a regular 56K modem." _______________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | ___________________________________________________ Today November 29 in 1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered and had been given permission to camp. 1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first Army-Navy football game. The game was played at West Point, NY. 1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the rotary dial. 1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior to a Soviet attack. Finland promptly ran to Germany for help, when the US and England turned them away. They kicked the Germans out in 1945, just as WWII was ending and it had become obvious, that Germany was losing and about to be bombed back into the stone age. 1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic proclaimed. 1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before landing off Puerto Rico. 1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed. The crash was the worst in Canada's history. 1963 U.S. President Johnson named a commission headed by Earl Warren to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy. 1967 U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara announced that he was leaving the Johnson administration to become president of the World Bank. 1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army became effective. 1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language for the Altair. 1981 Actress Natalie Wood drowned in a boating accident off Santa Catalina Island, CA, at the age 43. 1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. 1986- Actor Cary Grant died at the age of 82. 1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people aboard. 1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA. 1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to preserve potentially vital evidence. 1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the party's 40-year monopoly on power. 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5. 1992 Dennis Byrd (New York Jets) was paralyzed after a neck injury in a game against the Kansas City Chiefs. 1994 The U.S. House passed the revised General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. 1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war. 1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war crimes sentence since World War II. 1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and other narcotics. 2004 The French government announced plans to build the Louvre II in northern France. The 236,808 square foot museum was the planned home for 500-600 works from the Louvre's reserves. 2020 Do smiled. |
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