Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, July 24 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: St. Johns County woman bit boyfriend, stabbed him with scissors, robbed him Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, July 24 in 1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence. --- Charles Austin Beard (1874 - 1948) Ask yourself the easy questions and youll have a hard life, ask yourself the hard questions and youll have an easier life! --- Peter Thomson ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ I was a Bible seller a few years ago when I was down on my luck a bit. Trying to sell Bibles on the corner was tough and I wasn't doing too well when this young fellow with a really bad stutter came up to me and said, "Wha wha what are you, you, try try trying to s s s sell?" I said I'm selling Bibles and I'm not doing too well. Well with that he made me an offer I couldn't refuse. "C c c can I t t ttake a couple and s s s sell them them d d door to d d door for you?" he asked. So I gave him three Bibles and he was off, but only for twenty minutes and he was back cash in hand, amazing! So with no hesitation he was off with six more, and again about half an hour later, all gone! Incredible, too good to be true, so I thought I'd follow him and see what his secret was! He tapped on the door of his next house and I heard him say to the householder,"W ww wo wou would you you you li li li like t t t to b b b buy a B B BIble or would y y y you you you li li li like like m m me t t t ta read it t t to you?!! _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 _____________________________________________________ Tower: "Alpha Charlie, climb immediately to four thousand feet for noise abatement." Pilot: "How can I possibly be creating excess noise at three thousand feet?" Tower: "At four thousand feet, you will miss that ugly helicopter ahead of you. They make a big racket when you hit them." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jessica Allen, 21, Jacksonville, Florida  St. Johns County woman bit boyfriend, stabbed him with scissors, robbed him  A St. Augustine woman is in the St. Johns County Jail after she forcibly stole money from her boyfriend and stabbed him with scissors, an arrest report said. Jessica Allen, 21, bit her boyfriend of six months and stabbed him in the back of the leg, deputies said. The boyfriend also said that he had been attacked before and was once hospitalized as a result. Allen is charged with battery and larceny is in the St. Johns County Jail on a $4,000 bond. Records show she has been arrested five times in St. Johns County, including one in 2015 for battery. 
  Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: How do I find the real sender of spam or spoofs?  Dear Webby This is probably a very dumb question. How do I find the real sender of spam or spoofs? Sometimes I suspect that it's a spoof, but how can I tell for sure? Karen  Dear Karen If you get MailWasher, you will see the actual linking going on, right in the preview, before even downloading the complete mail. You will see, for example, that a message pretending to be from PayPal or from MyPostcards has been sent with Outlook. That alone proves that the mail is a spoof, since big companies don't use Outlook. Then you see stuff like PayPal.com (links to ....... a bunch of numbers and weird addresses). You can look a lot further, but that's already more than enough proof that that mail is crooked. There is no point, really, in investigating further, since they probably forged the sender address anyway. Just mark it for deleting, and if you get a lot of them, make a filter to dump them automatically, unseen. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 Old man Zack had an incredible mule. They had been together for years and stayed pretty much to themselves. One day, Zack and his mule were walking down the road when a passerby asked if Zack needed a ride to town. Zack accepted the offer and the driver asked, "What about your mule?" Zack said, "Oh, don't worry about him. He'll keep up." Then Zack got into the truck while his mule ran along behind. The driver was a little cruel and decided to speed up a little. The mule was right in back of them as they reached 55 mph. The driver accelerated and the mule and stayed with them. They reached 70 miles per hour and the mule was still right behind them. The driver couldn't believe this. He turned to Zack and said, "I'm worried about your mule. His tongue is hanging out." Zack said, "Which way?" The driver said, "Left." And Zack said, "Well, stay in this lane, he's about to pass." 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 A middle aged man wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor for a check up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." The man said, "Well, to be honest with you Doc, I don't deserve the best. What's the second best?" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reduce Static On Carpets To cut down on those annoying static shocks from walking on your carpet, mix 1 part fabric softener to 5 parts water in a clean spray bottle. Put the spray bottle on its widest setting and spray your carpet with a light mist.  That makes your hallways smell nice, but on some carpets may increase the static when the water dries. Plus it can get rather expensive! Most hotels, that have static problems on long hallways, use a bottle cap full of vinegar in a quart sprayer and the rest of it filled with water. That is the sorta familiar, but hard to indentify, fresh scent that you smell in the hallways of many of the better hotels. At a dollar per gallon it's also a lot cheaper. Have FUN! DearWebby   Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
For train lovers.
 ___________________________________________________ The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Thanks to Susan for this story: After my husband and I had a huge argument, we ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of his shirts was. "Oh," I said, "So now you're speaking to me." He looked confused, "What are you talking about?" "Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for three days?" I challenged. "No," he said, "I just thought we were getting along." ____________________________________________________  
 Today, July 24 in 1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah. 1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press. 1923 The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries of modern Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland. 1929 U.S. President Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact, which renounced war as an instrument of foreign policy. 1948 Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West Berlin. The U.S.-British airlift began the following day. 1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific Ocean. 1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda became the oldest person to climb Japans highest peak. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog