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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 11, in 1922, At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Officer pursues stolen vehicle, finds 10-year-old behind wheel _____________________________________________________ Q If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done. --- Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004) The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it always to be kept alive. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) Seeing ourselves as others see uswould probably confirm our worst suspicions about them. --- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960) ____________________________________________________ A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But a new express- way bypass meant an alarming increase in traffic. In fact, it was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three a day. So he called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens." So the next day the sheriff went out and put up a sign that read: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING Three days later the farmer called again and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The School Crossing sign seems to make them go faster." So, again, the sheriff went out and put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY No good. So the farmer calls again...and again, everyday for three weeks, but the sheriff just doesn't have time to put up new signs every week. Finally, the telephone calls stop and the sheriff becomes very curious. So he drives out to the farmer's house, and just beyond the jam of VERY slow moving traffict he sees a new black sign. Written in large yellow letters on it are the words: NUDIST COLONY __________________________________________________ ===From Cappy=== You know the fact you personaLize your mail...really is nice...I dont feel like I am item 4billion 198 million served....and as a retired Army Officer,,,thats a nice feeling.... Cappy(Captain) AkA Tim ---- Cappy, I'm glad you like it that way, SIR! __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by 10 year old Portland, Oregon, USA Officer pursues stolen vehicle, finds 10-year-old behind wheel On Friday, January 6, 2023, at 1:18 a.m., a North Precinct officer was in her patrol vehicle in the area of North Vancouver Avenue and North Lombard Street when she observed two vehicles speeding out of a fast-food restaurant parking lot. Upon checking one of the vehicles, a Kia, the officer found it to be registered as stolen. The officer followed the vehicle, which was driving erratically. As the vehicle stopped at a stop sign on North Kerby Avenue and North Rosa Parks Way, the driver and passenger of the vehicle put their hands up immediately. The officer made contact with the subjects and discovered the driver of the vehicle was 10 years old and the passenger was 13 years old. The juveniles were released to their guardians. The owner of the vehicle was contacted and obtained his vehicle, which had a back passenger window broken and the ignition damaged. ___________________________________________________ Susan Ingham Belted Kingfisher ___________________________________________________ "May I try on that dress in the window?" the gorgeous woman asked the manager of the designer boutique. "Go ahead," the manager replied. "Maybe it'll attract some business." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Jack Sluys _______________________________________________ It's official: Rap music does cause crime. Research shows that in over half the shootings that occur on the street, the gunman is aiming at the boombox. ____________________________________________________ Jesus and Saint Paul are sitting in Heaven, talking about the pollution on Earth and wondering what can be done about mankind's filthy ways. Jesus says he's going to pop down to Skegness to see the situation for himself, and Paul agrees to join him. When they get there, Jesus asks what the huge metal pipe is for. Paul tells him it's used to take waste out to sea where the muck kills dolphins. So Jesus decides to take action and strides across the waves. Walking alongside, Paul is soon knee-deep in filthy water, while Jesus scoots along barely getting his ankles wet. Ever hopeful of some help he slogs on, and Jesus keeps walking on water... but soon the water is up to Paul's chin. "Master," he calls, "I will follow you anywhere, but I'm up to my neck in dirty water and I think I'm going to drown." At this Jesus stops walking and looks at Paul. "Well," he says, "why don't you just walk on the pipe like me, you silly fool?" __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Amanda RE: Reflected images Dear Webby Nowadays a lot of pictures, especially mugshots, seem to have the picture in the middle and faded copies on the side. What causes that? Amanda Dear Amanda That is caused by Yuppies eating junkfood and drinking burned dishwater. That causes brain damage, as you noiced. It is not a computer problem, and not a software problem. They do it deliberately to make sure you know that they are brain damaged. It looks sloppy, but is easy enough to crop so that you have just the sharp center part. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The tourist was admiring the Native's necklace. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," he replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Actually", he replied, "here the alligator hunters get paid a lot more than the oyster cutters at the packing plant." ____________________________________________________ Today, January 11 in 1569, England's first state lottery was held. 1770, The first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the United States from London. 1861, Alabama seceded from the United States. 1867, Benito Juarez returned to the Mexican presidency, following the withdrawal of French troops and the execution of Emperor Maximilian. 1878, In New York, milk was delivered in glass bottles for the first time by Alexander Campbell. 1902, "Popular Mechanics" magazine was published for the first time. 1913, The first sedan-type car was unveiled at the National Automobile Show in New York City. The car was manufactured by the Hudson Motor Company. 1922, At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. 1935, Amelia Earhart Putnam became the first woman to fly solo from Hawaii to California. 1938, In Limerick, ME, Frances Moulton assumed her duties as the first woman bank president. 1942, Japan declared war against the Netherlands. The same day, Japanese forces invaded the Dutch East Indies. 1943, The United States and Britain signed treaties relinquishing extraterritorial rights in China. 1947, "Murder and Mrs. Malone" debuted on ABC radio. 1958, "Seahunt" debuted on CBS-TV. The show was aired on the network for four years. 1964, U.S. Surgeon General Luther Terry released a report that said that smoking cigarettes was a definite health hazard. 1973, The Open University awarded its first degrees. 1973, Owners of American League baseball teams voted to adopt the designated-hitter rule on a trial basis. 1977, France released Abu Daoud, a Palestinian suspected of involvement in the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics. 1978, Two Soviet cosmonauts aboard the Soyuz 27 capsule linked up with the Salyut 6 orbiting space station, where the Soyuz 26 capsule was already docked. 1980, Nigel Short, age 14, from Bolton in Britain, became the youngest International Master in the history of chess. 1986, Author James Clavell signed a 5$ million deal with Morrow/Avon Publishing for the book "Whirlwind". The book is a 2,000 page novel. 1988, U.S. Vice President George Bush met with representatives of independent counsel Lawrence E. Walsh to answer questions about the Iran-Contra affair. 1991, An auction of silver and paintings that had been acquired by the late Ferdinand Marcos and his wife, Imelda, brought in a total of $20.29 million at Christie's in New York. 1996, Ryutaro Hashimoto become Japan's prime minister. He replaced Tomiichi Murayama who had resigned on January 5, 1996. 2000, The merger between AOL and Time Warner was approved by the U.S. government with restrictions. 2001, The Texas Board of Criminal Justice released a review of the escape of the "Texas 7." It stated that prison staff missed critical opportunities to prevent the escape by ignoring a fire alarm, not reporting unsupervised inmates and not demanding proper identification from inmates. 2001, The U.S. Federal Trade Commission approved the merger of America Online and Time Warner to form AOL Time Warner. 2022 Do smiled.
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