Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, July 5 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Female jailer cut hole in uniform for repeated sex with inmate in view of others; caught and sentenced ___________________________________________________ Today, July 5 in 1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. ____________________________________________________ The smaller the mind the greater the conceit. --- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC) A philanthropist is someone who returns publicly what he stole privately. --- George Bernard Shaw ____________________________________________________ During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up. The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a house-bound 98 year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation. The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?" The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition." The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema?" The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition." Then the rabbi said to the old man, "The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand..." The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "THAT is the tradition!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tina Gonzalez, 27, Fresno, California, USA Female jailer cut hole in uniform for repeated sex with inmate in view of others; caught and sentenced A former California corrections officer accused of having sex with an inmate while on the job will now be serving her own time behind bars. Tina Gonzalez, the 27-year-old former Fresno County correctional officer who allegedly carried out a relationship with an unnamed prisoner, often visiting his cell to have sex in full view of 11 other inmates, was sentenced this week, according to the Fresno Bee. Assistant Sheriff Steve McComas claimed that Gonzalez also gave the man razors and informed him when officers would be doing rounds and inspecting inmate cells. This could have created a precarious and potentially dangerous situation for prison staff trying to do their jobs. That is something only a depraved mind can come up with, McComas said of Gonzalez who purportedly cut a hole in her uniform to make it easier to have sex. In his 26-year career, McComas claims hes seen pretty disgusting things, but nothing worse than Gonzalezs reported conduct. Gonzalez was working in corrections from 2016 to 2019 and was arrested on May 1 of 2020 following an investigation after a tip was given to the Sheriffs office that a male inmate was given a cellphone and having sexual relations with an officer. The former corrections officer was charged with one count of sexual activity by a detention facility employee with a consenting confined adult, one count of possession of drugs or an alcoholic beverage in a jail facility and a misdemeanor count of possession of cellular device with intent to deliver to an inmate according to the Fresno Bee. She plead no contest to all charges in April. Gonzalez faced up to three years and eight months in prison and McComas wanted to see her serve it all after claiming that she showed no remorse. She took an oath which she betrayed and in doing so endangered her coworkers lives, but she has shown no remorse. She continually calls and has sexually explicit conversations with the inmate in question and boasts about the crimes she carried out.McComas said. The prosecutor, Kaitlin Drake recommended a 15-month jail sentence while Gonzalezs attorney, Martin Taleisnik, was trying for probation without jail time. It was never her intention to bring any harm or danger to the employees in the jail or anyone else in the jail, Taleisnik said of his client, who had reportedly just ended her marriage and was having a difficult time. Deputy Sheriff McComas asked Judge Michael Idiart to make an example of Gonzalez and sentence her to 3 years eight months in prison. Thanks to her early plea and lack of criminal history, Gonzalez will face 210 days behind bars and two years of probation. I think what you did was terrible, stupid and you have ruined your career, but I also believe that people can redeem themselves and you have the rest of your life to do that. Good luck, the judge said to Gonzalez. DearWebby's tech support pits from: Edith re: Reminder service Dear Webby Once upon a time, long, long ago, you mentioned a free reminder service. At that time I still had a memory, and did not need it. NOW I need it. Where do I get it? Edith Dear Edith It is called: Mymemorizer and is at MyMemorizer The data is "on the cloud", not your computer. You can get to it from anybody's machine, even a hotel lobby computer. As long as you remember your email address and your password, you have full access. Have FUN! DearWebby How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned- out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done! CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process. LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out. VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- one millionth. LIBRA: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you? SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order. SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes. AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so.... PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb? | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked. "He got this hare brained notion he was going to build a new kind of car," his coworker replied. "How was he going to do it?" "He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from a Caddy and well, you get the idea." "So what did he end up with?" "1 1/2 years in jail and 100 hours of community work." ____________________________________________ >From Connie If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too. If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers you or your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up. He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat. I wish I was a bear. ____________________________________________ On my first day of school my parents told me to go to the nursery. There I was...surrounded by trees and bushes, having a great time. It's too bad they got more specific about which nursery when there was no semester report card. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, July 5, in 1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt to take Buenos Aires, Argentina. 1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to declare independence from Spain. 1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior British force at Chippewa, Canada. 1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers. 1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against Austrian rule. 1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan Island in China and then occupied it. 1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and distributed supplies to the citizens. 1865 William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. 1865 The U.S. Secret Service Division was created to combat currency counterfeiting, forging and the altering of currency and securities. 1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary steam engine. 1916 Adelina and August Van Buren started on the first successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. They started in New York City and arrived in San Diego, CA, on September 12, 1916. 1935 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the National Labor Relations Act into law. The act authorized labor to organize communist style for the purpose of collective bargaining. 1940 During World War II, Britain and the Vichy government in France broke diplomatic relations. 1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union. 1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history. 1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. 1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first time at Osan, South Korea. 1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. 1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule. 1984 The U.S. Supreme Court weakened the 70-year-old "exclusionary rule," deciding that evidence seized with defective court warrants could be used against defendants in criminal trials. 1989 Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for his part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions were later overturned. 1991 Regulators shut down the Pakistani-managed Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) in eight countries. The charge was fraud, drug money laundering and illegal infiltration into the U.S. banking system. 1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars. 2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner. 2000 10 Bengal tigers, including 7 rare white tigers, died at the Nandankanan Zoo in India. The tigers died of trypanosomiasis (sleeping sickness). 2000 Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister Tony Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk and lying on the ground in London's Leicester Square. 2021 Do smiled. |
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