Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, March 21 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman arrested after throwing syringes into backseat with child during traffic stop Details at  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 21 in 1556 Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, was burned at the stake at Oxford after retracting the last of seven recantations that same day.   See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ If you wish me to weep, you must mourn first yourself. --- Horace (65 BC - 8 BC) The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it. --- John Ruskin (1819 - 1900) Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest. --- Alexandre Dumas ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Bob was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie." Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked." ______________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ >From Fran: It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased about the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2." ______________________________________________________   From FB ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Christine Maier, 31, Okeechobee, Florida  Florida woman arrested after throwing syringes into backseat with child during traffic stop  Police officers in Florida said they found three hypodermic needles within arms reach of a toddler Tuesday afternoon during a traffic stop. When a woman in the vehicle was asked how this could happen, she said she panicked when she saw the patrol cars emergency lights and threw the needles in the backseat, according to a Boca Raton police report. Christine Maier, 31, of Okeechobee, told the officer it was a "panicked, stupid, mistake," police said. She remained in the Palm Beach County Jail early Thursday on $3,000 bail on charges of child neglect and possession of drug equipment. On Tuesday afternoon, police noticed a Jeep parked in a handicapped parking spot at the Marathon gas station on Glades Road just east of Town Center at Boca Raton. After a while, another vehicle parked next to it, and a woman, later identified as Maier, walked out of the passenger side of the Jeep. Maier met with a man who was inside the other car, and he handed her a plastic baggie, according to the report. After the two left, the Boca Raton officer noticed the Jeep did not make a full stop at a stop sign and a brake light was out, so the officer pulled the vehicle over. The officer noted he saw Maier make movements with her head and hands as he pulled the Jeep over. The officer wrote when he walked up to the car, he noticed a toddler whose face had a fresh cut on it in the backseat without a car seat. The relationship between the woman and the child is redacted from the report. After the officer took the information from the man driving the Jeep, he said he saw Maier make what appeared to be a "drug transaction" at the gas station and asked if he could search the vehicle. After the man agreed, the officer found three hypodermic needles within arms reach of the toddler. A sunglasses case in the front passenger side of the car where Maier was sitting contained two more needles and "a white crystal-like residue." The officer noted one of the needles "had a metal screw in place of a plastic plunger." The officer read the man and Maier their rights. Then the man began yelling at Maier after he saw the needles. Maier told officers she was just getting them for a friend so "he could use them to inject methamphetamines." When asked about the cut on the toddlers nose, she said the child had fallen the day before. The driver told officers he had no idea about the needles and the only reason he drove Maier from Okeechobee to Boca Raton was because he had just gotten out of jail, and "its been a while since Ive had a girl. The driver does not appear to have been arrested, according to jail records. The child is in the care of the Florida Department of Children and Families, according to the report.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Patti Re: Laptop keyboard lettering Dear Webby The white lettering on my laptop keyboard is coming off. Is there a way to replace it???? Patti /i> Dear Patti You can try Lettraset and then seal it with a drop of marine spar varnish or clear nail polish. Lettraset is getting hard to find, but I have seen clones of it at the Dollar Store. You could even cut the letters out from a magazine or thin ad flyer, and glue them on with regular white glue. Don't use Crazy Glue. It will stick before you can line up the letter correctly. When the glue is good and dry, you can seal the letter with a drop of clear nail polish. Have FUN! DearWebby    Alex sets up his friend Bob to go on a blind date with his cousin. Bob is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Bob, "I'll be with her all night." "Don't worry," Alex says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout 'Aaaaaauuuggghhh!' and fake a heart attack." That night Bob knocks at the girl's door. When she comes out he is awe-struck at how hot and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly grabs for her chest and lets out a loud ... "Aaaaaauuuggghhh!" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Growing Vegetables in an Apartment By guest (Guest Post) Best Answer I have a nice yard but prefer to grow my vegetables on the deck since the deer can't get up there. You can grow snow peas in containers if you give them something to climb on and the leaf lettuces work well. These are spring veggies. When they're done, you can plant something else like green beans in the same containers. Tomatoes work well in pickle buckets as long as they have some support (circular cages will work). You will have to water the tomatoes often. Also, wash out your egg shells and sprinkle them on the soil. They give the tomatoes their needed calcium and help to prevent blossom end rot. You can even grow melons with the roots in containers and the fruit resting on the deck.  
  
- sharp takeoff 
 ____________________________________________________ A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments after class. Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said, "Did you write this poem all by yourself?" The student said, "Every word of it." The professor said, "Well, then, I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Poe. However, all these books here say you are dead. Since I can not correct all the books about you, .... Which way would you like to die ?" ___________________________________________________  
 
A hidden surprise. 
 A man spent several hours enduring long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the L.A. Department of Motor Vehicles. On his way home, he stopped to pick up a gift for his son. He selected a baseball bat. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash!" the man snapped, then apologizing for his rudeness, he explained, "I've just spent the entire afternoon at the Motor Vehicle office." "I understand," the clerk replied, and then asked, "Shall I gift wrap the bat, or ... are you going back there...?" 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's News
 No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today on March 21 1349 3,000 Jews were killed in Black Death riots in Efurt Germany. 1556 Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, was burned at the stake at Oxford after retracting the last of seven recantations that same day. 1788 Almost the entire city of New Orleans, LA, was destroyed by fire. 856 buildings were destroyed. 1804 The French civil code, the Code Napoleon, was adopted. 1824 A fire at a Cairo ammunitions dump killed 4,000 horses. 1835 Charles Darwin & Mariano Gonzales met at Portillo Pass. 1851 Emperor Tu Duc ordered that Christian priests be put to death. 1851 Yosemite Valley was discovered in California. 1857 An earthquake hit Tokyo killing about 107,000. 1858 British forces in India lift the siege of Lucknow, ending the Indian Mutiny. 1871 Journalist Henry M Stanley began his famous expedition to Africa. 1902 In New York, three Park Avenue mansions were destroyed when a subway tunnel roof caved in. 1908 A passenger was carried in a bi-plane for the first time by Henri Farman of France. 1909 Russia withdrew its support for Serbia and recognized the Austrian annexation of Bosnia-Herzegovina. Serbia accepted Austrian control over Bosnia-Herzegovina on March 31, 1909. 1918 During World War I, the Germans launched the Somme Offensive. 1925 The state of Tennessee enacted the Butler Act. It was a law that made it a crime for a teacher in any state- supported public school to teach any theory that was in contradiction to the Bible's account of man's creation. 1928 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge gave the Congressional Medal of Honor to Charles Lindbergh for his first trans- Atlantic flight. 1934 A fire destroyed Hakodate, Japan, killing about 1,500. 1935 Incubator ambulance service began in Chicago, IL. 1941 The last Italian post in East Libya, North Africa, fell to the British. 1945 During World War II, Allied bombers began four days of raids over Germany. 1963 Alcatraz Island, the federal penitentiary in San Francisco Bay, CA, closed. 1965 The U.S. launched Ranger 9. It was the last in a series of unmanned lunar explorations. 1965 More than 3,000 civil rights demonstrators led by the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. began a march from Selma to Montgomery, AL. 1966 In New York, demolition work began to clear thirteen square blocks for the construction of the original World Trade Center. 1971 Two U.S. platoons in Vietnam refused their orders to advance. 1972 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could not require one year of residency for voting eligibility. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced to the U.S. Olympic Team that they would not participate in the 1980 Summer Games in Moscow as a boycott against Soviet intervention in Afghanistan. 1984 A Soviet submarine crashed into the USS Kitty Hawk off the coast of Japan. 1985 Larry Flynt offered to sell his pornography empire for $26 million or "Hustler" magazine alone for $18 million. 1990 Namibia became independent of South Africa. 1994 Wayne Gretzky tied Gordie Howe's NHL record of 801 goals. 1994 Bill Gates of Microsoft and Craig McCaw of McCaw Cellular Communications announced a $9 billion plan that would send 840 satellites into orbit to relay information around the globe. 2002 In Paris, an 1825 print by French inventor Joseph Nicephore Niepce was sold for $443,220. The print, of a man leading a horse, was the earliest recorded image taken by photographic means. 2016 It was reported that the Kepler space telescope had captured the visible light of a "shock breakout" when the star KSN 2011a exploded. It was the first time an exploding star's brilliant flash shockwave had been captured. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 

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