Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, June 15 ____________________________________________________ History: today, June 15 in 1911, The Computing-Tabulating-Recording Co. was incorporated in the state of New York. The company was later renamed International Business Machines (IBM) Corp. ___________________________________________ Bonehead South Carolina prisoner faces 2nd life sentence for using cellphone to arrange killing ___________________________________________________ Q There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers. --- Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988) A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. --- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) ____________________________________________________ Sometimes we just need to remember what the Rules of Life REALLY are. 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. (oops, I read this too late) 2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right." 4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. 6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!" 7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them. 8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?' 9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. 10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! 11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. 12. Work is good, but it's not that important. 13. And finally... Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to bail you out or empty your bedpan. __________________________________________________ During a friendly argument, Ron asked his wife why she married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," Laura teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she was surprised and requested an explanation. "Well, people get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." ___________________________________________________ "Girl who is wallflower at party, may be a dandelion in bed." I eat all flowers! (including dandelions!) ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ Following is a supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.: Correction of Directive 943456201, issued recently, concerning the fixed price of groundhog meat. In the above named directive, the quotation on groundhog meat should read, "ground hogmeat." ___________________________________________________ One of my friends sent this, don't know if you can use it as it is a little long, but funny. Lyn At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25- year-old. ...snip... "Morris. I'm pleased that you came back again." Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turned to Lou Anne and said, "You mean I was here already?" ________________________________________________  Catholic Elk in Banff, by Michael Joseph Geisler ___________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock  Daniel Shannon, South Carolina, USA South Carolina prisoner faces 2nd life sentence for using cellphone to arrange killing A South Carolina prisoner serving a life sentence for murder orchestrated killing a man he thought robbed a drug runner for a methamphetamine ring the inmate was running from behind bars, federal prosecutors said. Daniel Allen Shannon was sentenced to life in federal prison earlier this month for the killing, but the only way he will end up in federal custody is if he is released from his life- without-parole sentence in state court from a 2001 murder. Shannon ran his drug ring from prison using contraband cellphones. The director of South Carolina's prisons has spent more than nine years trying to convince the federal government to allow states to jam cellphone signals inside prison walls. "This is yet another example of prisoners using contraband cellphones from behind state prison fences to continue committing crimes," South Carolina Department of Corrections Director Bryan Stirling said. Stirling has plenty of examples. There was a 2018 gang riot orchestrated through illegal cellphones that ended with seven prisoners killed. A state prison guard was ambushed and seriously injured in a hit planned and ordered from inside the prison. And there has been an extortion ring where inmates trick people outside into sending nude photos of themselves, then the solicitors claim to be underage and demand money to not go to police. Stirling has appeared with the parents of a man who died by suicide after being targeted by that scam. Shannon, 43, pleaded guilty in federal court earlier this year to conspiring to distribute methamphetamine. A judge linked the 2019 killing of Cletis "Eddie" Baker in Kershaw County to the drug ring and accepted the proposed life sentence, according to a statement from the U.S. Attorney's Office. Shannon ordered Baker killed because he thought Baker stole from one of his drug couriers. Baker was shot in a drug house, which was then burned to the ground. His body was dumped several miles away, prosecutors said. Shannon ran a large drug ring in Lancaster and Kershaw counties with nearly a dozen co-defendants listed in his case. At his guilty plea, a judge also ordered Shannon to forfeit more than $127,000 in cash. "We will not sit by as inmates use these phones to perpetrate violence, drug trafficking, sex crimes, and fraud," U.S. Attorney for South Carolina Adair Boroughs said. ___________________________________________________ >From all the Mormon history we have seen during the Olympics we all know that this joke could not happen oday. In 1875 a Danish couple converted to became Mormons and moved to Cache Valley Utah. They set up a farm in Rural Providence, Utah, and were self sufficient for a couple of years. By the third year, the husband decided to take a second wife, as Mormons of the time did. His wife was not too keen on the idea, so he convinced a Swedish neighbor to help in a plan to convince her. "Let us go to the barn, and pray for guidance on this major decision", said the husband. Whatever God tells us, that's what we'll do". They went to the barn, got on their knees, and old farmer Madsen started with the usual openings to Mormon prayers. After a few minutes of this, he posed the question: "heavenly father, should I take another wife?" Farmer Olson was in the rafters, as previously arranged, and in the most booming, deep voice he could muster, said "Brother Madsen, I command thee to take another wife". After a moment, farmer Madsen looked over to his wife, and saw that she was sobbing uncontrollably. He put his arm around her, and said, "There there, a second wife will be an addition to the family, but she will never be a replacement for you. I'll still love you just as much." Mrs. Madsen said "I have no problem with you taking a second wife, I've been resigned to that for a year now. But in my worst nightmare, I NEVER imagined that God was a Swede!" ___________________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions: "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being -- a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, she responded, "I think its a great idea! Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?" __________________________________________  Bluebird near Wetaskiwin, Alberta ___________________________________________________ A Texas rancher who depreciated 15 to 20 animals, something only allowed if the animals are used in breeding who, when asked by the IRS agent at an audit, "I presume you breed these animals?" replied that he didn't, giving his CPA a heart attack. But then, after a pregnant pause, continued, "I've got a bull for that." ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Yolanda Re: Reverting from W10 to W7 Dear Webby hope you're doing well!! Anything new going on in your neck of the woods? I have some questions to ask you please. Can you revert a Windows 10 to Windows 7? The computer came with Windows10, is why I'm asking. Have a great day and please stay safe and healthy!! Smiles... Yolanda Dear Yolanda No, unfortunately you can not do that. The hidden partition with the "Factory Restore" has W10 on it. The evil empire did that, so that you can not go to W7. I KNOW that W10 is a **************, and I would be in the first 500 Million to jump to W7, at light speed. Actually, I would probably be in the first dozen people. You can still get refurb W7 machines at quite reasonaboe prices. That is what I am using. What have you been up to, aside from cussing at W10, and at the ***************, who contaminated perfectly good computers with it? Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! __________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today June 15, in 1215, King John of England put his seal on the Magna Carta. 1381, The English peasant revolt was crushed in London. 1389, Ottoman Turks crushed Serbia in the Battle of Kosovo. 1607, Colonists in North America completed James Fort in Jamestown, VA. 1667, Jean-Baptiste Denys administered the first fully- documented human blood transfusion. He successfully transfused the blood of a sheep to a 15-year old boy. 1752, Benjamin Franklin experimented by flying a kite during a thunderstorm. The result was a little spark that showed the relationship between lightning and electricity. 1775, George Washington was appointed head of the Continental Army by the Second Continental Congress. 1836, Arkansas became the 25th U.S. state. 1844, Charles Goodyear was granted a patent for the process that strengthens rubber. 1846, The United States and Britain settled a boundary dispute concerning the boundary between the U.S. and Canada, by signing a treaty. 1864, An order to establish a military burial ground was signed by Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton. The location later became known as Arlington National Cemetery. 1866, Prussia attacked Austria. 1877, Henry O. Flipper became the first African American to graduate from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point. 1898, The U.S. House of representatives approved the annexation of Hawaii. 1909, Benjamin Shibe patented the cork center baseball. 1911, The Computing-Tabulating-Recording Co. was incorporated in the state of New York. The company was later renamed International Business Machines (IBM) Corp. 1916, U.S. President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill incorporating the Boy Scouts of America. 1917, Great Britain pledged the release of all the Irish captured during the Easter Rebellion of 1916. 1919, Captain John Alcock and Lt. Arthur W. Brown won $50,000 for successfully completing the first, non-stop trans-Atlantic plane flight. 1940, The French fortress of Verdun was captured by Germans. 1944, American forces began their successful invasion of Saipan during World War II. 1947, The All-Indian Congress accepted a British plan for the partition of India. 1948, Soviet authorities announced that the Autobahn would be closed indefinitely "for repairs." 1958, Greece severed military ties to Turkey because of the Cypress issue. 1964, The last French troops left Algeria. 1978, King Hussein of Jordan married 26-year-old American Lisa Halaby, who became Queen Noor. 1981, The U.S. agreed to provide Pakistan with $3 billion in military and economic aid from October 1982 to October 1987. 1982, In the capital city of Stanley, the Falklands war ended as Argentine troops surrendered to the British. 1983, The U.S. Supreme Court reinforced its position on abortion by striking down state and local restriction on abortions. 1986, Pravda, the Communist Party newspaper, reported that the chief engineer of the Chernobyl nuclear plant was dismissed for mishandling the incident at the plant. 1992, It was ruled by the U.S. Supreme Court that the government could kidnap criminal suspects from foreign countries for prosecution. 1992, U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle instructed a student to spell "potato" with an "e" on the end during a spelling bee. He had relied on a faulty flash card that had been written by the student's teacher. 1994, Israel and the Vatican established full diplomatic relations. 1999, South Korean naval forces sank a North Korean torpedo boat during an exchange in the disputed Yellow Sea. 2023, Do smiled.
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