Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Again voted Best Newsletter
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter and is available in regular HTML and large font HTML for vision impaired readers. The Dear Webby Humor newsletter is sent from a server that has a Listed Sender ID, proper SPF record, and matching forward and reverse DNS. It has an approved privacy policy and full contact information. The Dear Webby Humor Letter is strictly Double Opt-In and is not on any blacklist. No advertising mails are sent from this address or IP number. If you are not receiving your subscription, click here.
Return to Webby homepage Hosting | Software | Contacts | Privacy Policy | About You have a friend @Webby!
High traffic web space on reliable UNIX and Linux servers with the fastest connectivity.
Regular HTML version    Click here for Large Print  Subscribe   |   Unsubscribe |  To write to me: DearWebby@webby.com
 

 
 Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, February 8 -30 and windy. No Gullible Warming yet. For tomorrow evening they predict -33 In May it should warm up nicely, I hope. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Clinton, Iowa pair arrested for selling Meth  ___________________________________________________ Today, February 8 in 1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS television. ____________________________________________________ Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too. --- Richard M. Nixon (1913 - 1994) Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is. --- William James (1842 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. "Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there." "Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported." ____________________________________________________ The veterinarian told Trisha that her dog needed some exercise. You need to make sure the dog runs around, the doctor said. Try playing a game of fetch the ball. "I can't play fetch with my dog," Trisha said. "Why not?" the doctor asked. "Because," she replied, "He can't throw." ____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ A man was driving down a local street one day in an open convertible and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't know was that a cop was watching the intersection. The cop pulled out after him and stopped him 2 blocks away and asked him for his " License, registration and proof of insurance". The driver said: "Hey I wanna know exactly what I did wrong first?" The Officer responded "Please watch your tone of voice, you failed the stop sign back there!" The driver said: "Hey man, I slowed down enough, what the heck is the difference?" The police officer then pulled out his night stick and his long flashlight began bonking them over the mans head in a spirited drum solo. Within seconds the driver was howling: "Hey, man, stop that. Stop it. Stop, please!" The officer said " Now, do you want me to really stop, or just slow down a bit ?" __________________________________________________ Reported by the bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Murray Dee Henricks Jr., 23, Whitney Sue Joslin, 22, Clinton, Iowa, USA  Clinton, Iowa pair arrested for selling Meth An investigation by the Blackhawk Area Task Force has led to the arrest of two Clinton residents on meth trafficking charges. Murray Dee Henricks Jr., 23, and Whitney Sue Joslin, 22, are charged with one count each of possession with the intent to distribute more than 5 grams of methamphetamine. The charge is a Class B felony under Iowa law that carries a prison sentence of 25 years. Henricks and Joslin also are charged with violating Iowas drug tax stamp law, a Class D felony that carries a prison sentence of five years. The pair was arrested Jan. 29. According to the arrest affidavits filed by an agent with the task force, at 2 p.m. on Aug. 26, agents with the Blackhawk Area Task Force conducted a controlled buy of suspected crystal methamphetamine from Henricks using a confidential source. The source had communicated with Henricks and had agreed to buy meth from Henricks. When the source arrived at Henricks residence, the source spoke with Henricks on the phone. Henricks told the source that he would send out a woman with the meth. Agents watched as Joslin gave the source, in exchange for cash, a clear plastic baggie that contained suspected methamphetamine. The suspected methamphetamine was sent to the Iowa Department of Public Safetys Division of Criminal Investigation crime lab for testing. The test returned positive for 9.03 grams of methamphetamine, and a warrant was issued Jan. 29 for the arrest of both Henricks and Joslin. Both Henricks and Joslin are scheduled to be arraigned on the charges Feb. 18 in Clinton County District Court. Henricks also is facing a charge of second-degree theft and second-degree criminal mischief. Clinton Police allege that Henricks attempted to steal a catalytic converter from a Dodge Ram pickup truck at 1:55 p.m. Jan. 28. The Ram was parked in the parking lot of Custom-Pak, a Clinton business. Henricks did not get the catalytic converter but is alleged to have caused $1,730.46 in damage to the Dodge. He also is charged with second-degree theft and second- degree criminal mischief for allegedly stealing a catalytic converter off a Ford F250 pickup truck sometime between the hours of 5:30 p.m. Jan. 26 and 2:30 p.m. Jan. 27, according to arrest affidavits. The cost to repair the Ford is between $4,000 and $5,000. The suspected methamphetamine was sent to the Iowa Department of Public Safetys Division of Criminal Investigation crime lab for testing. The test returned positive for 9.03 grams of methamphetamine, and a warrant was issued Jan. 29 for the arrest of both Henricks and Joslin. Both Henricks and Joslin are scheduled to be arraigned on the charges Feb. 18 in Clinton County District Court. Henricks also is facing a charge of second-degree theft and second-degree criminal mischief. Clinton Police allege that Henricks attempted to steal a catalytic converter from a Dodge Ram pickup truck at 1:55 p.m. Jan. 28. The Ram was parked in the parking lot of Custom-Pak, a Clinton business. Henricks did not get the catalytic converter but is alleged to have caused $1,730.46 in damage to the Dodge. He also is charged with second-degree theft and second- degree criminal mischief for allegedly stealing a catalytic converter off a Ford F250 pickup truck sometime between the hours of 5:30 p.m. Jan. 26 and 2:30 p.m. Jan. 27, according to arrest affidavits. The cost to repair the Ford is between $4,000 and $5,000. Second-degree theft and second-degree criminal mischief each are Class D felonies that carry a prison sentence of five years. Henricks currently is serving a term on probation until May 22, 2022, after he pleaded guilty in Clinton County District Court to a charge of possession with the intent to deliver less than 5 grams of methamphetamine. That charge is a Class C felony that carries a prison sentence of 10 years. Henricks, who was sentenced to three years on probation in the case on Dec. 6, 2018, could have his probation revoked and sentenced to 10 years in prison.  
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Kath Re: Save paper Dear Webby My paper expenses are getting out of hand, partly because I print out the instructions for most programs. Help! Kath Dear Kath Go to Blue Squirrel and get ClickBook. ClickBook turns your work into a book, brochure, catalog, bulleting, poster, banner or PDF. Easy to use! I have used it since the days of dot-matrix printers. It WORKS! Have Fun! DearWebby
The golfer stood at the edge of the water and attempted to pitch the ball over it. It went in. A voice boomed out from above.... "USE AN OLD BALL". He dropped a new ball and put that one in the water. The voice again boomed out from above ....."USE AN OLD BALL". He proceeded to hit a half dozen brand new balls into the water. Each time the voice boomed out from above "USE AN OLD BALL". Finally he looked up and said "Where can I buy an old ball?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!

_____________________________________________
 A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each student in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them complete the saying. Here's what she came up with... Two's Company, Three's... The Musketeers. It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time. Strike While The... Bug Is Close. Never Under Estimate The Power Of... Termites. You Can Lead A Horse To Water But... How? Better Be Safe Than... Punch A 5th Grader. Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty. No News Is... Impossible. A Miss Is As Good As A... Mister You Can't Teach An Old Dog New... Math. If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning. Love All, Trust.. Me An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax. Where There's Smoke, There's... Pollution. Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents! A Penny Saved Is... Not Much. The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs. Don't Put Off Tomorrow What... You Put On To Go To Bed. Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And... You Have To Blow Your Nose. Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded. If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries. You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box. When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way. ____________________________________________ A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church in Sweetwater and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though." ____________________________________________ >From Yolanda I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried." "It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence. "Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?" When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure." ____________________________________________ 
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today February 8 in 1693 A charter was granted for the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, VA. 1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock. 1861 The Confederate States of America was formed. 1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. 1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River. 1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking Russian forces in Manchuria. 1918 During World War I, "The Stars and Stripes" was published under orders from General John J. Pershing for the United States Army forces in France. It was published from February 8, 1918 to June 13, 1919. 1922 The White House began using radio after U.S. President Harding had it installed. 1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her father, George VI, had died on February 6. 1963 The Kennedy administration prohibited travel to Cuba and made financial and commercial transactions with Cuba illegal for U.S. citizens. 1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned to Earth after 84 days. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to re- introduce draft registration. 1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS television. 1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC" had rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM pickups were prone to fires after certain types of crashes. The suit was settled the following day by NBC. 2021 Do smiled. 
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!


The Archive is in the Dear Webby Humor Letter Blog.ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.

If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.

To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com

If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.

If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion

. Zoom the font size for best readability
Search the web for:
  Recommended Resources  
Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download
Find a human
Bypass voice menus



Web Tools

handy program downloads


SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial

This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still
The Best
spam control

REVO UNinstaller

UNinstall completely and safely whatever you don't want anymore. I have used it for many years and highly recommend it. It even does an inventory of what you got and shows long forgotten stuff.
Choose a reliable essay writing service
to cope with your assignments
much faster.

Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE


Babelfish Translator
Converter
Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters


Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE

This Undeleter will
easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery?

SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!

All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!


 Where is YOUR site? 
High traffic hosting on UNIX servers Web Space for YOU,
from $2.50 up. Commercal grade:
No ads, no limits.
Full control, not just a myspace page.
Post your eBay detail pictures.

Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!


Software for your own postcard site
 YOUR OWN
Postcard Site
!
You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.


If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder:

Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby


Click here to order YOUR ad to be shown here

Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.


Find newsletters



Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue



That could be YOUR ad for $50 per month.
Subscribers only!
Click here to order YOUR ad to be shown here

Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season

Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras

Thesaurus

NASA Multimedia Gallery
Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web

Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events

Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite

Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!


Affordable web space
effective privacy policy Privacy Policy

Unique visitors since 1/1/11
free counters



Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
EB (Eligible Bachelor) DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
free counters


Subscribe    |   Give a Gift Subscription    |   Unsubscribe
Click here for Large Print
Go to TOP
You can un-subscribe from this list by clicking this link: http://webby.com/magiclist/index.cgi?act=u&l=humor2&email=newsletter@newslettercollector.com